Struggling
 

Today is day 11, and I'm so worried about making it to day 12. I'm having problems with my psych doc. I had to stop my topamax (for bi-polar) because it was causing insomnia, intestinal issues, chest pains, kidney problems, and tingling in my hands and feet. I figured he would put me on something else; I figured wrong. One of the biggest reasons I started using was because it was a way to deal with the mood swings. I loved the manic side of bi-polar much more than the depressive side and using almost always kept me on the manic side. When he increased my topamax, I started experiencing all of the symptoms and tried to wait it out, but could no longer do so. I called his office yesterday and explained my problem. I was put on a waiting list for another appointment when I left there over 2 months ago...I am at least 2 weeks overdue for an appointment. I explained to the receptionist yesterday that it was probably not in my best interest to NOT be on anything for the mood swings / instability and she said "well he didn't give me anything to call in for you. We'll call you when we have a cancellation." I explained to her that I'm on my 11th day of sobriety and this could very well push me over the edge and she didn't seem the slightest bit concerned. I have been a patient there for over 3 years, and I have to be put on a f'n waiting list?? I called back today and pretty much demanded I either be seen, or be put on something else. Otherwise, I guess the only other way to be seen is to threaten to harm myself in the ER or something; and even then it will only get me a 3 day stay in they psych ward.

I really have no advice for you.
It sux when people seem to just brush you off.
I am going through it trying to get into treatment.
I think you do what you have to do and get the help your are looking for.
Please dont use. Hang in there.
Your not alone.

A lot of people just don't understand.

I'm praying you don't use. 11 days is quite the accomplishment. Just try to make it through today, and tomorrow will be a new day.

You can do this. I know it.

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