krisgrace

I never knew of Cocaine to have a smell. I know meth smells horrible. I have done both in the past..... Just saying. And whatever it is, if your not in the right after or when he is doing it your probably wont smell it. If he leaves the fan running long enough, whatever little smell there is will be gone, unless you gone in right away. I am sure if he has done it for a while, he has a system going to make sure you wont smell a thing. He probably uses the toliet paper to wipe everything done to make sure NOTHING smells. You have to think like an addict. lol, thats the type stuff I would probably do. Also, I would probably stay away from him. He needs help, and I hope he wants help, bc you cant change him. He has to want to. I learned that with my ex husband. He was an alcoholic. Then I turned into an opiate addict. Go figure.

change4penny

Butterfly,
He never smelled it and if he ever suspected me using, I always had him convinced that it was powder cocaine...Sometimes it was. I learned when smoking in the bathroom, that by running water, it cuts down the smoke, plus I would exhale the smoke down the toilet as I flushed.
I did eventually get careless and left a stem out one time, then he knew.

change4penny

I honestly don't know anyone who would take off for days for powder coke. It sounds like crack to me. I was constantly congested when I was using. It's not as much the crack itself that make you have the congestion, as it is the steel wool you use in the pipe/stem that causes that. A sure sign that he's smoking is this...look around in the bathroom on the floor, counters, sink and see if you see some copper pieces of steel wool. That stuff goes everywhere when you pull it out or cut it. If you find that or something similar, it a safe bet it's crack.

Penny

CrackQuack

Running the water and having the fan on, and you suspect drug use, would mean that he's trying to hide the sound of the click from the lighter and the fan will pull up the smoke. Carrying water -could- mean that it's the water he would use to wet the cloth/rag/paper towel/ to cool his stem off if he's using a metal one. Your physical health could be at risk, as if he gets mean and is high, he could hit you or mentally damage you dragging you with him through the cycle of addiction. It's horrible, and really it doesn't matter what he is addicted to until he is ready to admit he's using and seek help. So you're right, it doesn't matter. What does matter is you taking care of YOU and seeking any help/advice/path to get away from the self destruction, denial, lies, theft, and agony associated with active addiction...
And on a side note, be glad you know nothing about smoking crack. It's a horrible drug (like most are) and I have a lot of haunted memories from its use. But even with the nightmares, flashbacks, and knowing about it, I am glad to NOT be smoking crack anymore. Even with all the bad stuff, I am more free and a lot more happier.

change4penny

Quack...you are so right. I'm so grateful that I quit. But, I also have a lot of nightmares and flashbacks to when I was using.
I will tell you this, that Sh!t has a little piece of my soul and it always will. All I can do now is to push foward in my recovery, but I will always have the shame and guilt of allowing myself to become a 'crack head'.

Butterfly14

Chang4Penny & Quack, Thank you both so much!!! Your Info is right on and I fear now it is definitely crack....snorting cocaine wouldn't require him to leave the fan on since it doesn't smell like you said.....I have no idea since i have never done any drugs but I'll tell you this has been one hell of an education. I would never run right into the bathroom but one time i did go in about 5 minutes later but didn't smell anything. I am lucky to have found SR and all of you great people. I thank you so much for being honest and sharing your experiences and advice with me. I wish you both the best in your recovery. I really hope he finds his way but as of last week he was still in denial to me that he is even using so I don't see him getting help soon.

I thought about what you said about the steel wool i haven't seen nor ever did see anything like that and I cleaned the bathroom the next day after he was here. He did have a lot of congestion i noticed that. I do know the day he was here a week ago and in the bathroom he went thru almost a whole roll of toilet paper himself!!! I have no idea what he was doing but the toilet would flush a few times and the water would be running so from what you all said it sounds like crack. I never saw burnt lips or fingers did you all experience that? He was always looking perfect. In fact, he was very vain about his looks and appearance so he could be very deceiving if you met him you wouldn't ever think he was on crack. Yes he always diappeared for 2 or 3 days or at least overnight and then i would hear from him with some goofy excuse and then he would sleep for an entire day and night. We did not live together so i don't know what he was doing a lot of the time he coudl be telling me anythign on the phone.
Chang4Penny sounds right in that crack is usually done in binges and not cocaine binges...I read online that crack is one of the few drugs that causes an obsession to the point where the person does it in binges untill the money is gone or the drug is gone.

Butterfly14

Did either of you experience itching and twitching? sounds funny but i also noticed when he slept that he would twitch a lot. looked like spasms of some sort. Also, he scratched his body a lot. seemed like he was always itchy. weird. The bottle water was not taken in the bathroom....when i said he had water a lot i meant to drink he always had a dry mouth.

CrackQuack

Yes, I must have drank water by the gallons, especially when the product was really "good", and my mouth would get really dry. I would get cotton mouth worse than any time I had ever smoked pot. I don't know about twitchy or itchy, but my current boyfriend would wake me up, at night, sometimes, in the beginning of trying to quit, asking if I was cold because I was shaking. I wasn't cold. I knew that. So I think my nerves were so on edge and I wanted crack so badly, that I just got the shakes.
I'd be irritable, emotional, quick to jump to the wrong conclusions. Took me a long time to trust that the man I am seeing is really WHO HE IS. We started seeing each other last September, and I didn't get clean until February. All that while, I was worried if he had hidden agendas, motives, or whatever, like my ex.. I can only imagine the burden I was. I would be off and on, week after week.. And finally just gave up and surrendered. What a relief. First time, ever, I thought losing was really winning. LOL.
Think back. How were his eating habits?
For all we know, he could be smoking something else, or doing something entirely different, but from what you describe, he's definitely hiding something. Being defensive about his actions.. I remember so many times, before I started using with my ex, him coming out of the bathroom, doing exactly what you described. He'd leave the fan on and the door closed and tell me not to go in there because it was "a doozy" or it was really smelly. He really had to go, etc.. Didn't hear running water, but then again, I wasn't paying attention. I was waiting in the living room, with the movie on pause, for him to finish. He wouldn't be in there for hours, but definitely 1/2-1 hour at a time, a couple times a night. Then one night, I walked into his bedroom as he was lighting the pipe. I asked him what he was doing and his EXACT reply was "A bad habit." I knew what it was. I should have ran. I should have left and never looked back.... I go back to that memory and wish I could change it so many times, but I know I cannot.
From there, even though I'd toot, or smoke pot, or drink, I wouldn't touch the crack for nothing. I would plead with him to stop because I just knew it was a bad bad thing for anyone to do. Never mind my own habits or the risk of my own self, right???
Three times he asked if I wanted to try it. Twice I said no. The last time wrote 1 1/2 years out of my life and gave me many horrible memories and nightmares to remember. Lucky me! The most vivid of memories is the very first time I took the stem and smoked crack. I remember what we both wore, where we were, what was playing on TV, how the hot tub sounded.. Everything. It totally sucks. But at least I can do some good with it in warning others about our behaviors, and hopefully I can help someone else stop the madness...
And it's mad.

Butterfly14

Yes, He would come out of the bathroom and do exactly as you describe....saying that it was a doozy in there don't go in,,,and laugh. The bathroom door would be closed with the fan on...I would go in about 10 minutes later and didn't smell anything he would be in there for about 15 minutes or so each time. I do know the water was on and off a lot. He drank tons of water always had a bottle of water with him claiming it was healthy to drink water...yea. His eating habits were all or nothing......sometimes no appetite and then he would eat you out of house and home!!! After returning from these disappearing acts he would be tired and hungry. I remember that from the few times he came here early in the mronings saying he fell asleep at a friends house. But when he came here he would ask me if he could nap for awile...well the nap lasted hours and hours...I would actually go to the mall and come back and still he woudl be sleeping mid-day. Then get up and be very hungry but never have any money after these disappearing acts. I found it odd that he needed to sleep again if he had slept at a friends house but he would say he didn't feel well and needed to rest then when he got up he started the bathroom trips and what he claimed as diarheea....that was why he was in the bathroom so long....well this last time i just said enough something is going on and it is not a virus....with that he got pissed we fought and he ended things and left we haven't spoken since. that was a week ago. we had prior to that gone to a counseling session together at his urging to fix what he called my issues,,,,which was that i didn't believe him when he said he wasn't using and becuase i had trust issues. Not that his behavior caused my trust issues....anyway, the counselor realy didn't seem to buy that he was in a good recovery program and she told him that in so many words....she herself is a recovering alcholic so he couldn't BS her. Anyway, I called her last week and told her that after our counsleing session he was fine for about 3 days and then disappeared saturday night. she siad he is not ready so let him be or he will drag you down with him. I am following her advice and backing off and staying away. Your right I don't really know what drug he is using but since he had a past history with cocaine I assume it is that in some form whether it be snorting it or crack. It's all bad.

Butterfly14

Oh and yes he did shake when he was asleep i noticed that along with the twitching. I think your doing a great service here by helping others and i just pray that he is able to find his way to recovery but i know it has to be his choice noone ever gets clean for someone else. I read online where it said "if your the reason they get clean you will be the reason they use again" so just back away and let them do what they need to do for themselves. Sounds right to me.

Nallabelle

I have to ask though, does he act different when he comes out of the bathroom? if so, how? that might give experienced crack/cocaine users a better clue to solve the mystery (i realize it doesnt REALLY matter what he's using, im just saying..._)

Butterfly14

He doesn't seem terribly different.....i mean it isn't like he turns into someone else when he comes out...he just seems awake and ready to roll.....the first time i noticed these bathroom trips was about 6 weeks ago when we were at a friend of his house and this is a guy we had all hung out with many times ....i didn't know when we went that day but this guy is a drug dealer....when we went to his house i saw 2 guys come in and the guy who lived there went to the back of the house with them and the guys then left. After that I was playing with the dogs and talking to one of the guys who lived in the house and my BF then went into his bathroom and was in there awile,,,fan on and water running.......when he came out he said oh don't go in there i really stunk the place up and he closed the guys bathroom door and left the fan running....his eye was bloodshot and he was very jumpy i noticed a definite change in him that day. I confonted him when we got out to the car and said what is that guy doing in there selling drugs my BF looked surprised that i guessed that and said well yes he sells percocets and I said why were you in the bathroom so long he said i had to go to the bathroom that is all and i said well you seem different since you came out... well with that he got angry and we were supposed to go to dinner instead he dropped me off at my house and left. He called later that night saying all sorts of mean things and threatening to file charges against me for accusing him of doing drugs I was like what...he was acting goofy i hung up the phone and went to bed. i didn't hear from him for a week after that epsode. I called him all week and he never picked up. When he finally did pick up he said i needed to stop accusing him of doing things he wasn't doing and i said if you are in recovery why are you hanging out with this guy who is selling percocets and god knows what else...he siad we have been friends forever and he would never give me any drugs in fact he looks out for me like a brother. You would think i woudl have known then he was full of BS but i went along and we got back together after that and that is when he started to do the bathroom thing at my house when he was here....he started this about a month ago....again we dont' live together so it is easier for him to decieve me since he isn't here all the time he coudl have been doing this all along but since he isn't living here i woudln't know. I hope this gives you more idea of what is going on...also, he has no money and works a very good union job...that makes no sense to me. he is living home with his family at 41 with a crappy truck....he has no kids so the money must be going somewhere??? It can only be drugs in my mind nothing else makes sense. especially since he has a past history of coke addiction.

Aysha

Crack stinks. It does have an odor. Even when not smoking it. But you would have to be smelling it right under your nose to smell it not burning. I agree with Ex-D ..Smells like burnt rubber or sometimes like a kerosene type smell. And the smokey dingy smell that clings to your clothes. Long time crack use can lead to brochial conditions. I use to call mine the crack cough. After being up for days I would do nothing but cough alot. Its hard to breathe and the cough is very flemmy and gross sounding.
I have been smoking the crap for 16 yrs. And still cant stand the smell of it.
Classic water running and crap like that. Hiding sounds. Sometimes smell. I guess some addicts believe that water will disolve the smoke.
Being gone for days and coming home looking and smelling like you just rolled out of a gutter. Which basiclly I did do every time I was returning home after being gone for days.
But assume all you want. Assumptions will just drive you crazy.
I suggest you find out for sure anyway possible. You dont need an addict on your hands.

Aysha

I just want to add..That if he is smoking crack..Look at his hands. Does he have callouses on his thumbs? From lighting the lighter alot? Hands are a sure tell tale of crack use. Small cuts in the palms. Black and dirty hands and fingernails. If it is powder..All I can say is if he is having a sinus cold that wont go away. That would be a way to tell if he is snorting it. My nose ran 24/7 when I use to snort it.

Nallabelle

Yeah I mean like you said you havent talked to him in a week or whatever but if it were me I would want to know. I mean for closure or something. Have you ever spend like a weekend away somewhere with him? That would give you a clue. Buy one of those home drug test and see if he will take it.

change4penny

Chiynita is right....look at his thumbs to see if there are calloused....that's from flicking a lighter.

Butterfly14

He would not take a home drug test,,and at this point who knows when i will hear from him again it's already been a week....and we broke up last time we talked so i may not hear from him again.....but even if i ask him i doubt he will tell the truth anyway he always denies using so i don't think I will get anything out of him. I would like to know for closure but it is highly doubtful i will ever find out the truth.

Butterfly14

I will look at his thimbs if i ever see him again...but he works with his hands so he can always say the callous came from that...believe me he would always think of a good excuse!!!

Nallabelle

Yes. We addicts can lie ourselves out of anything. ANYTHING. So much so that it will convince the non-addicts in our lives that they are the crazy ones.

Butterfly14

Yes Nallabelle,,,My BF always, always turned the tables and made everything about me and my issues....according to him he has no issues and every fight and every problem that has occured is my fault....he really believes this....when we went to the counselor afterward he said he was glad he went and he can be there for me......the nerve of him....i just shook my head...amazing. Not to say that i dont' have issues becuase i do... but it is almost comical how with all of his issues he can only focus on mine.....

I can't blame it all on him though...It is my fault for doubting my thoughts and feelings and allowing him to convince me of things when i had serious doubts that he was clean. One thing I have learned from this experience....is to really trust my intuition....if i see or feel things are off I need to stop, slow down take my time till things become more clear.....In this case i jumped right on the band wagon with him and we were in a whirlwind courtship in no time.....The next man that i meet and go out with I am going to go very slow and if I see red flags stop and address them right then and there and if i still dont' feel comfortable i need to step back and seriously evalute before going further. Also, I will not date any more addicts who are not sober and WORKING a recovery program,,,That I have promised myself after this!!!!