my husband's on crack
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1
my husband's on crack
i am soo scared lately found some evidence that my husband might be using crack. He denies it but i dont want to make my self blind. I know what sgoign on and dont know what to do about it. We have been together for 4 years and have a beautiful son. I love him so much an d want this to ripe our family apart. any help someone anyone?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 331
Hiya Sacred, Welcome to SR 
Have you approached your husband about the crack? Although he may deny it, you need to be honest with him about your suspicions (sp?). Has he had problems with any other drugs or drinking before?
Does he need help? First you need to speak with him and go from there.
<3 Stacy
Have you approached your husband about the crack? Although he may deny it, you need to be honest with him about your suspicions (sp?). Has he had problems with any other drugs or drinking before?
Does he need help? First you need to speak with him and go from there.
<3 Stacy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: at the beach
Posts: 339
dear sacred,
welcome to SR. this site has helped me through a lot of personal struggles and it is so nice to share w/ people who understand and try to help.
i cannot for sure answer if your husband is on crack or not, but usually if you have a feeling it does turn out to be right most of the time. my husband has been using cocaine for numerous years, not sure how long since i wasn't aware of it for a long time. we have 2 small kids and i'm pregnant. i and the kids have been staying w/ my parents for the past month b/c of his unwillingness or powerlessness to admit to his addiction or to attempt to seek treatment.
you only can determine what is the best path for you. from what i know and have been told there really is no way that you can make him stop or help him stop unless he wants to do it for himself. you do have to though take the time to take care of yourself, b/c it is hard and we often tend to focus our energy on the addict instead of on ourselves.
i am sorry that you are going through this. i know how unnerving and agonizing the not knowing is. stay strong and determined.
my hugs and prayers go out to you and your family.
welcome to SR. this site has helped me through a lot of personal struggles and it is so nice to share w/ people who understand and try to help.
i cannot for sure answer if your husband is on crack or not, but usually if you have a feeling it does turn out to be right most of the time. my husband has been using cocaine for numerous years, not sure how long since i wasn't aware of it for a long time. we have 2 small kids and i'm pregnant. i and the kids have been staying w/ my parents for the past month b/c of his unwillingness or powerlessness to admit to his addiction or to attempt to seek treatment.
you only can determine what is the best path for you. from what i know and have been told there really is no way that you can make him stop or help him stop unless he wants to do it for himself. you do have to though take the time to take care of yourself, b/c it is hard and we often tend to focus our energy on the addict instead of on ourselves.
i am sorry that you are going through this. i know how unnerving and agonizing the not knowing is. stay strong and determined.
my hugs and prayers go out to you and your family.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: wi.
Posts: 16
I have experience in this situation sorry to say. 10 yrs. or so since last time. Powerfull stuff that crack. Craving big time. Tools for the abuse include but are not limited to, glass/metal tubes, metal pens, telescoping car antenas, steelwool, pen propane torches. IMO this needs to be dealt with quickly. I have been inside users homes and it is not pretty.
Not again
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Personnally i wouldn't be carrying around those "tools", particularly if I was trying to hide the fact I was using. So lack of hard evidence does not tell us anything.
Now if he seems to be staying away from home for hours/days without a good explination that could be an indication that something is up. But I think the most telling and obvious sign/clue would be the money. Crack is not a cheap habit and will drain a wallet and bank account very qiuckly. So hopefully you are a part of the financial management in the household and if there are large sums disappearing without explination you may be on to something. But please don't jump to conclusions hastily.
Wouldn't it suck if he was working 3rd shift to save up and buy you something nice.
larry
Now if he seems to be staying away from home for hours/days without a good explination that could be an indication that something is up. But I think the most telling and obvious sign/clue would be the money. Crack is not a cheap habit and will drain a wallet and bank account very qiuckly. So hopefully you are a part of the financial management in the household and if there are large sums disappearing without explination you may be on to something. But please don't jump to conclusions hastily.
Wouldn't it suck if he was working 3rd shift to save up and buy you something nice.
larry
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi Sacred, Welcome to SR!!!
You'll find a lot of people with experience to share and a great deal of support here!!! You might also be interested in visiting our forum for Friends and Family Member of alcoholics and addicts at this link:
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
What evidence have you found? Did you find a glass pipe? Does your husband put a whole lot, and I mean a whole lot, of sugar in his coffee or other drinks all of a sudden? These things may or may not be a "home run", but it certainly would be a potential.
I'm glad you found us! Stick around, read the threads, learn all you can about this disease called addiction.
HG
You'll find a lot of people with experience to share and a great deal of support here!!! You might also be interested in visiting our forum for Friends and Family Member of alcoholics and addicts at this link:
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
What evidence have you found? Did you find a glass pipe? Does your husband put a whole lot, and I mean a whole lot, of sugar in his coffee or other drinks all of a sudden? These things may or may not be a "home run", but it certainly would be a potential.
I'm glad you found us! Stick around, read the threads, learn all you can about this disease called addiction.
HG
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Sacred))) - welcome to SR!!
I'm a recovering crack addict (and recovering codependent who was "madly in love" with other addicts, for years). The money issue was a biggie with me, as well as disappearing...not answering phones, not having a good excuse for where I was. This was when I was relapsing...when I was using, I was doing it 24/7, homeless, etc.
FWIW, most A's (addicts/alcoholics) will deny using, even if caught red-handed.
The Friends & Family forum is a great place to learn how to deal with an A, if he is one. If you have any questions, feel free to pm me, though I think you need to have 5 posts before you can do that.
From personal experience, crack made me into a person I never thought I could be, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy
However, recovery is possible, but we A's have to be the ones that want it. No one else can do it for us.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm a recovering crack addict (and recovering codependent who was "madly in love" with other addicts, for years). The money issue was a biggie with me, as well as disappearing...not answering phones, not having a good excuse for where I was. This was when I was relapsing...when I was using, I was doing it 24/7, homeless, etc.
FWIW, most A's (addicts/alcoholics) will deny using, even if caught red-handed.
The Friends & Family forum is a great place to learn how to deal with an A, if he is one. If you have any questions, feel free to pm me, though I think you need to have 5 posts before you can do that.
From personal experience, crack made me into a person I never thought I could be, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy
However, recovery is possible, but we A's have to be the ones that want it. No one else can do it for us.Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Southern Illinois
Posts: 174
My husband was a "short-term" crack user. It's a scary situation to learn that your loved one may possibly be doing something so damaging and addicting, but I pray that this is not the case with your husband..of course he will deny it at all costs. Just keep an eye out for the signs and keep posting.
Not again
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Don't you wish that when we get into such a deep, intimate relationship that results in marriage, supposedly forever and ever, we could be open and honest about all the things going on in our lives. That way if you had these type of suspiscions all you would have to do was ask and then know the reply was the truth. I suspect that would reqiure alot of effort, faith and trust, but i think it would make the bond so much stronger.
Not really sure why I am posting this, just food for thought.
Not really sure why I am posting this, just food for thought.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Bond stronger in times of trouble
Originally Posted by larrylive 
Don't you wish that when we get into such a deep, intimate relationship that results in marriage, supposedly forever and ever, we could be open and honest about all the things going on in our lives. That way if you had these type of suspiscions all you would have to do was ask and then know the reply was the truth. I suspect that would reqiure alot of effort, faith and trust, but i think it would make the bond so much stronger.
Not really sure why I am posting this, just food for thought.
Not really sure why I am posting this, just food for thought.
Married 40 years to the same guy, I almost didn't tell him the truth when I was withdrawing last December. If I hadn't, the discovery of my lie would have been more damaging to our relationship than anything I could have done short of infidelity. Because I opened up despite my fear he would be angry, the bond remained tight and he has become my strongest support in recovery. Some of us don't deserve to be trusted with drugs, and that mistrust won't go away any time soon. Nor should it.
Only the two people involved in the relationship can know what is right for them to do. But that is my view.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
