whiskerkissed

One thing I want to add but too late to edit in:

I WAS keeping the single tag in my pocket every single day. It was as part of my morning routine as starting my car was. It was the only thing in that one pocket...and very comforting.

newsandi

Got thru my second day on the job. I am feeling fine. No back ache. I had more back ache when I was on the ****. My habit this time around went kinda like this, I would run out for a day or two without nothing and then I would get more. So maybe I will be ok. I would love to have some but I know the drill and I just got to the day by day thing again. I appreciate all of you guys sticking by me. I hope to be able to gain more wisdom from my second time around where I can be of help to others.

newsandi

Joe, I do take anxiety meds, Klopin (sp), I get (6) .5 mil a day. My husband hides them and I only get what is prescribed for me. Is that a lot to be taking every day. I normally take one in the morning and one in the afternoon and then I just took 2 when I got home because I had a stressful argument with a loved one and am a litttle stressed over it. Thats 3 mil a day. I know how you struggled with these types of meds and I know Windy and some few others that had this type of addiction and that the withdrawls are the worse. Am I at a dose where I will have to concern myself in the future. Right now, I trully need them but I dont plan on being on these for long. I just got to get my life a little more straighten out and reduce my stress and I will want to stop those also. Anyone with any experience, let me know on this dosage and if its a big dose for one day. I have no clue on this med.
Thanks to all.
Sandi

windysan

The klonipin eventually just makes the stress worse. Talk to your doctor about it and ask him how long is the drug supposed to be used for. It is for short term use. Benzos over time just turn into a nightmare.

windysan

and yes, that's a pretty healthy dose.

woops

Wot Windy says above - in both posts.

newsandi

Windy, are you saying that my dosage is a pretty high dosage. I feel like I take them and am not sure they do anything. Not to be nosey, but........ compare to your habit, and I going to regret some serious withdrawls with this ****.

newsandi

Third day I slept most of the day. I think I was being lazy more then anything. Today, day four, I got up early, showered, and went grocery shopping, clean my whole house and went and got my nails done. I think I am not having the withdrawls like I did the first time around. My addiction this time around was not even a 1/3 of what I was doing before. I think the mental part is going to be the part to work on. My back is hurting right now and I am not sure if its from laying around all day yesterday and working my butt off today or if its part of the deal. What ever it is, I will make it. I have to be clean to help my son get clean. I am real close to putting him into a in patient dual diagnosis rehab because his pot addiction is out of control. Thanks to all that have been there with and for me. This helps me a lot.

grateful2b

Sandi, you sound like you are doing GREAT! ........ super, girl..,
not surprised tho'..

:ghug3

windysan

good job, sandi

ccgirl2

Hey Sandi, when I was on Klonopin, the most my psychiatrist ever put me at was 1 mg per day. He preferred .5 if I could do it, then 1. When I went into rehab I was able to c/t off that dose, but any higher and I don't think I could have.

happy27

You are doing awesome!!

newsandi

Getty ready for work and I think the emotional part is kicking in. It probably has to do with my husband and his drinking. He is one of those so called "functional drunks". Has a great job that he has been at for the last 22 years and makes good money. But, anytime we go out, he always seems to pick some type of stupid argument and it normally is about my son. He normally doesnt even remember it the next day but its still stays within me. But last nite, we were all eating dinner and he said something about me or his kids feeling uncomfortable being around me or me being uncomfortable around them. I still didnt understand what he was trying to say. So I just put my plate on the counter and came to my room. He was up here, crying and trying to explain something that I can not comprehend. All I remember saying to him, is if everyone is uncomfortable with me, then maybe its time for me to move on. Then as usual, the next day he says he is sorry and doesnt remember anything after he cooked the meal. I didnt say a word to him and he left for work. I know that my husband has some terrible addictions, he drinks everyday and smokes weed himself. One argument, we were having such a good time at a local festival, that my son should "just quit smoking weed", and I told him if its that easy why dont you do it then. And he got on the defensive and said that he has been smoking for 30 years. A addicts way to justify his addiction. Honestly, if he would stop the drinking would be want I would want more then the smoking. Of course both would be good, but that isnt going to happen. I dont want to uproot my son thru this, he is sick and I am trying my damnest to get him better and in the right rehab and I know it will cause more damage to him. I dont spend much time with my husband because I get sick of the whole drinking and coming up to his room to smoke some weed. I decided to get clean because its only fair to not to do anything that would make me a hyprocrite (sp) talking to my son about drugs. What a pathetic existence I live in. I trully depend on my husband financially but emotionally I dont. He can tell me he loves me a hundred times a day and if I say it once back, it must be a good day. I probably shouldn't share all of this but needed to get it out so I can go to work and be strong. But, the emotional part is tough. Real tough. But I am not thinking of using and that is what matters at this time.

Jane63

((((Sandi)))) I apologise for not seeing this sooner! I've also been on vacation and not caught up yet.
I am soo proud of you for giving this a try and I know you can do it! The new job is a Godsend because it not only gets you out of the house but also staying busy and productive!! Good for you hun!!!

Keep working on it day by day and always know you have friends here who care!! Feel free to drop me a PM anytime!!
((HUGS)) LOTS of them!!
Jane

canuhearme

Sandi WTG on coming back and I'm glad you are not having to tough of a time with it tis go around!! I just hope you know how lucky you are and don't go thinking "Hmmmm that wasn't so bad" if you catch my drift! Lood luck and for what it's worth I'm proud of you!

bval

Sands, I just want to say that you are honestly THE FIRST PERSON I've EVER heard of that quit a bad opioid habit, stayed clean awhile, then went back out, and their addiction did not get immediately come back, worse that it was before. So, good on you, girl! You must be either extremely strong, or ... maybe you were just extremely broke Either way, I'm proud of you for making it back here, and I'm glad to hear that it's not terribly rough going this time around. Welcome back to the land of the living

Keep up the good work. Proud of you sweetie!

Tbird1

sandi, God will bless you and you will make it. I am in day five after cold turkey from vic's....every day gets a little better as it will for you. Good luck and know that I am praying for you.

LadyTenn422

((((((Sandi))))))) sorry I havent been around for a while You can do it, You are such an amazing person, you were there for me for a LONG time, if I can help, im here, we are very similar in LOTS of ways, re reading your posts. you are an alpha woman, so ROAR and kick its a**

newsandi

Day 5, was a litttle emotional this morning but I dont think it had to do with the withdrawals, I think its my life situation. Bret, you are funny, I was either broke or strong. I am going to take the strong on that one. I always can get money in hand and the drugs were one phone call away. I refused to let myself spend money on the crap. Maybe a little tight ass would be what I am. I remember how much money I spent on the **** and was only using what my dr gave me and it lasted 3 days and then a friend kept me with enough for a few days for free for a few months. She didnt use them. So, there were times when I would go a few days without. Didn't like it but dealt with it. I did have some backache today and have been taking Advil and I was getting mad that my aches wouldn't go away and then I got all into my job and realize that my back quit hurting. I swear I think my back hurt more when I was using then not. Go figure. I guess I am a little backwards. But, hey, we cant all be the same. That sure would suck.
Thanks to all, who are sticking by me. Now if I can get my son's addiction under control, I would be happy. He has to want it and he doesnt. I am seeing his case manager Friday in hopes to find a dual diagnosis facility and maybe even in patient. His smoking weed is more then I ever imagined it was. I think some of it is partially blamed on the meds he is on and partially the sickness. I know the 3 C's but when you love someone more then you love yourself, its so hard to watch. Thanks for hangin with me.

newsandi

Day 7 today, getting ready for work. Yesterday was pretty tough, my back aches are killing me. Taking Advil after taking 15 T's a day and not feeling much at all, how is the Advil suppose to help. Taking Imodium too. That seems to have just started becoming a problem these last couple days. I got off work yesterday and dropped to bed in exhaustion. I have been on my own basically at work since I kicked the habit and my bosses come back today. I am glad it worked out that way. I have been taking like 9 Advils a day for this back. I think once I get a little bit more time under my belt, I am going to try to fit the gym into my schedule. Hell, I pay for a gym pass, I should utilize it. I defintely need to gain some muscle strength. I lost a lot of weight thru all of the problems I have, I am at about 125 and I am 5'5. Everytime, someone sees me that have to mention it to me, that I am too skinny. Even the nail tech I see had to mention it. Family tell me I need to gain weight, I think I need to gain muscle tone. So, if I can get things better with my son, I will get back out there and work out. I think that will help with the emotional problems I seem to have when I kicked last time. Thanks to all for keeping me going.