My Doctors Method Of getting me off Oxycodone and my story
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 63
My Doctors Method Of getting me off Oxycodone and my story
I just started this method about 5 days ago, but before i explain my doctors way of getting me off let me give you a little background on my useage.
Almost everyday I would crush up and snort about 160mg of oxy in about a 2-5 hour time period. of course I worked my way up to that tolerance, I remember getting sick after snorting 20mg one time. I took it of course to get high, but towards the end, there wasn't a high, there was just the feeling of being a normal person. I tried to quit cold turkey about a month ago, it lasted about 5 days, God it was horrible, i remember the first day without it I had to let my cousin know i wasn't coming in to work because if the slightest thing had gone wrong, hell if he breathed too heavily for my liking I would've snapped. My bones wanted to jump out of my body, I was sweating so heavily, I couldn't get comfortable to sleep. So I started to use again and like I said about 160mg was my normal for about a 4 hour time period, sometimes I would go higher maybe 200mg. I also got a hold of dilaudid but those are like the difference between an alcoholic drinking water, and taking a shot.
The day I decided to get off was this. Wednesday I was driving to my dealers house which was about a half hour away, I was totally sober nothing in me whatsoever. A little kid on a razor scooter in a residential neighborhood came jamming down his driveway, which i saw and recognized, he just kept coming and I'm thinking to myself this kids gonna stop, theres like 15ft from where my car is on the street and the end of his driveway. He didn't, I slammed on my brakes as hard and as fast as i could and swerved trying to miss him but I didn't, he hit the passenger side of my car. a little 8 year old boy. I immediatley stopped and called 911. Thank god the kid popped up, a neighbor carried him across the street and once he saw all the cops and ambulance coming the boy started crying. I talked to the cops, lied about why i was there, they had an expert come out and wrote in the report it was not my fault the little boy was at fault. It's so cliche to say but I swear it all happened in slow motion. Driving to buy drugs and I almost killed a kid, another 6 inches towards the drivers side of my car and me going just a little faster, I run him over and he's dead.
So the next day or that evening I forget now, but I am perscribed legally 10mg valium because I have extreme anxiety, and I am perscribed flexeril because I have a bad back and it just helps with my muscle spasms, which pretty much the valium could do, and I am also on zoloft for depression and anxiety. But that night or the next day I took 160mg of oxy 70mg of valium and around 70mg of flexeril. I felt horrible and so guilty, I'm a very emotional person. I blacked out and don't remember a thing from that night, my fiance said I was screaming at her and made her cry so bad, and I was calling people on my phone trying to talk to them and they couldn't understand a word I was saying. My fiance thought I was going to die so she called my brother and my dad. Thank god I made it through the night and thank god I have my beautiful fiance. The next day my dad and brother came over for an intervention ( My mom lives about 5 minutes away and I have no relationship with her)... I suffer from a lot of emotional problems, I was crying the whole time they talked to me because I never really think anyone cares about me, except my fiance. I'm 25 and have thought that way for as long as i can remember.
That all happened 3/7 I got high on 3/9 even after almost dying again 160mg up my nose. I stayed up all night, at about 11am i went to my pharmacy to switch to zoloft so i was picking that up along with trying to pick up viagra because the anti depresants mess with my sex drive, the pharmacist told me my insurance would not cover it. So i went upstairs to talk to the nurse and see what was going on with the viagra. I asked to talk in private and she said of course so we went in and asked about the viagra and then just I had made up my mind that day to get off. So i just told her straight up I'm hooked on oxy, she made me and apt with my doctor for that day. I talked to my doctor told him everything that happened, how much I was taking and how I was taking it.
And what I'm wondering is if the method of what he put me on to take me off is good. He is basically weining me off of it. He prescribed me 20mg oxycodones, 3 in the morning, and 3 at night. which I gave to my dad to make sure I would not abuse them, and he set up a regiment to get me down to one pill a day and then no more. I just don't want that anymore, and i would try to be all tough and quit cold turkey, but I tried that, and I'm not that tough, mentally or physically.
Hopefully you got through my long ass story and any input and advice would be much appreciated, I was thinking that if after my regiment is over and I'm weining off, if i get the urge to call my doctor right away and try to get on suboxone or methadone or something, I know that urge is going to be there sometime or another. I just gotta stick with it. Thanks for whoever took there time to read my story.
Almost everyday I would crush up and snort about 160mg of oxy in about a 2-5 hour time period. of course I worked my way up to that tolerance, I remember getting sick after snorting 20mg one time. I took it of course to get high, but towards the end, there wasn't a high, there was just the feeling of being a normal person. I tried to quit cold turkey about a month ago, it lasted about 5 days, God it was horrible, i remember the first day without it I had to let my cousin know i wasn't coming in to work because if the slightest thing had gone wrong, hell if he breathed too heavily for my liking I would've snapped. My bones wanted to jump out of my body, I was sweating so heavily, I couldn't get comfortable to sleep. So I started to use again and like I said about 160mg was my normal for about a 4 hour time period, sometimes I would go higher maybe 200mg. I also got a hold of dilaudid but those are like the difference between an alcoholic drinking water, and taking a shot.
The day I decided to get off was this. Wednesday I was driving to my dealers house which was about a half hour away, I was totally sober nothing in me whatsoever. A little kid on a razor scooter in a residential neighborhood came jamming down his driveway, which i saw and recognized, he just kept coming and I'm thinking to myself this kids gonna stop, theres like 15ft from where my car is on the street and the end of his driveway. He didn't, I slammed on my brakes as hard and as fast as i could and swerved trying to miss him but I didn't, he hit the passenger side of my car. a little 8 year old boy. I immediatley stopped and called 911. Thank god the kid popped up, a neighbor carried him across the street and once he saw all the cops and ambulance coming the boy started crying. I talked to the cops, lied about why i was there, they had an expert come out and wrote in the report it was not my fault the little boy was at fault. It's so cliche to say but I swear it all happened in slow motion. Driving to buy drugs and I almost killed a kid, another 6 inches towards the drivers side of my car and me going just a little faster, I run him over and he's dead.
So the next day or that evening I forget now, but I am perscribed legally 10mg valium because I have extreme anxiety, and I am perscribed flexeril because I have a bad back and it just helps with my muscle spasms, which pretty much the valium could do, and I am also on zoloft for depression and anxiety. But that night or the next day I took 160mg of oxy 70mg of valium and around 70mg of flexeril. I felt horrible and so guilty, I'm a very emotional person. I blacked out and don't remember a thing from that night, my fiance said I was screaming at her and made her cry so bad, and I was calling people on my phone trying to talk to them and they couldn't understand a word I was saying. My fiance thought I was going to die so she called my brother and my dad. Thank god I made it through the night and thank god I have my beautiful fiance. The next day my dad and brother came over for an intervention ( My mom lives about 5 minutes away and I have no relationship with her)... I suffer from a lot of emotional problems, I was crying the whole time they talked to me because I never really think anyone cares about me, except my fiance. I'm 25 and have thought that way for as long as i can remember.
That all happened 3/7 I got high on 3/9 even after almost dying again 160mg up my nose. I stayed up all night, at about 11am i went to my pharmacy to switch to zoloft so i was picking that up along with trying to pick up viagra because the anti depresants mess with my sex drive, the pharmacist told me my insurance would not cover it. So i went upstairs to talk to the nurse and see what was going on with the viagra. I asked to talk in private and she said of course so we went in and asked about the viagra and then just I had made up my mind that day to get off. So i just told her straight up I'm hooked on oxy, she made me and apt with my doctor for that day. I talked to my doctor told him everything that happened, how much I was taking and how I was taking it.
And what I'm wondering is if the method of what he put me on to take me off is good. He is basically weining me off of it. He prescribed me 20mg oxycodones, 3 in the morning, and 3 at night. which I gave to my dad to make sure I would not abuse them, and he set up a regiment to get me down to one pill a day and then no more. I just don't want that anymore, and i would try to be all tough and quit cold turkey, but I tried that, and I'm not that tough, mentally or physically.
Hopefully you got through my long ass story and any input and advice would be much appreciated, I was thinking that if after my regiment is over and I'm weining off, if i get the urge to call my doctor right away and try to get on suboxone or methadone or something, I know that urge is going to be there sometime or another. I just gotta stick with it. Thanks for whoever took there time to read my story.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR....
As I am an alcoholic...I have no experience with this.
I wanted you to know that others will be along later
to share with you.
Take a read around ...thats a good starting point.
Good luck on your journey
As I am an alcoholic...I have no experience with this.
I wanted you to know that others will be along later
to share with you.
Take a read around ...thats a good starting point.
Good luck on your journey
Last edited by CarolD; 03-17-2008 at 01:38 AM. Reason: Typo
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I don't have personal experience with oxy except for the fact that I'm watching it absolutely ruin my son's life. I have watched him turn into an absolute monster on the stuff. I have witnessed exactly what you describe when he desperately tries to quit. I know that it has turned from getting high to chasing away the horrible withdrawals. Last week he finally admitted to me that he is snorting it in quantities that you have described. His behavior is that of a person I don't recognize anymore. I would do anything if he would be willing to go to a doctor and admit what is going on and seek assistance to get off of the stuff. Unfortunately he hasn't hit his bottom yet.
Your sharing gives me hope tonight. Please know that you have taken great strides to do the right thing for yourself. Try to continue to stay honest and follow your Doctor's direction. Take this one day at a time. Having your Dad monitor your dosage is wonderful. The addict in you might look for excuses as to why this won't work, or why you might need more. Keep the lines of communication open. Tell on yourself if you are not doing ok for whatever reason. Not being able to quit cold turkey doesn't mean you are weak in any way. What you have done for yourself so far has taken incredible courage. So much courage it takes my breath away and as I said gives me new hope for my own son's eventual recovery.
I wish I had more to offer you right now. Please keep posting. Let us know how you are doing. I'm sure there will be others that will be along soon with very good suggestions on how you can help yourself to your best advantage in recovery.
I myself am in early recovery for alcoholism. I go to AA, use this forum and focus on doing the best I can each day by staying sober. While I can't do anything to force my son to seek help, I figure that by being the best example I can be might eventually be a tipping point for him to see that there are options out there for him to change his own life. Thanks again. You really touched my heart.
Your sharing gives me hope tonight. Please know that you have taken great strides to do the right thing for yourself. Try to continue to stay honest and follow your Doctor's direction. Take this one day at a time. Having your Dad monitor your dosage is wonderful. The addict in you might look for excuses as to why this won't work, or why you might need more. Keep the lines of communication open. Tell on yourself if you are not doing ok for whatever reason. Not being able to quit cold turkey doesn't mean you are weak in any way. What you have done for yourself so far has taken incredible courage. So much courage it takes my breath away and as I said gives me new hope for my own son's eventual recovery.
I wish I had more to offer you right now. Please keep posting. Let us know how you are doing. I'm sure there will be others that will be along soon with very good suggestions on how you can help yourself to your best advantage in recovery.
I myself am in early recovery for alcoholism. I go to AA, use this forum and focus on doing the best I can each day by staying sober. While I can't do anything to force my son to seek help, I figure that by being the best example I can be might eventually be a tipping point for him to see that there are options out there for him to change his own life. Thanks again. You really touched my heart.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 63
pretty much hitting the little kid, and blacking out as I did made me realize how selfish I was. If I had died that night, or if I had killed that little kid, many more people besides myself would've been affected, just because I wanted some stupid pill. Besides by that point 200mg or more wasn't even getting me high, I was taking it to feel normal, pretty pointless on spending $30 a pill just to feel normal. Hopefully someone has some insight, because I plan on staying sober after my weining off is complete, I just know the urge will probably still come and I just want to be done. I'm glad that I have my dad to help out, he actually went in to the doctor with me because I needed more oxy and I wanted the doctor to know I wasn't abusing it, my dad was in complete control of handing it out to me. I'm looking forward to hearing from other oxy users and what they went through and maybe still are. And for those that are hooked on opiates or opiods, help is out there, you just have to look for it. Good luck to everyone and thanks for your replies so far!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 607
I read your whole story, I thought for sure you were gonna tell us that you killed that kid, thank God it wasn't like that.
Anyhow, you want to know, will your doctor's method of slowly lowering your oxy dose work? Well, it's really up to you. You say:
The fact that your dad holds the pills is excellent. What's not so excellent is that you know how to get as much OC as you like by driving to your dealer(s). If you "cheat" your reduction schedule even once, then the method is probably a failure for you, but it's not your doctor's fault.
Anyhow, you want to know, will your doctor's method of slowly lowering your oxy dose work? Well, it's really up to you. You say:
He prescribed me 20mg oxycodones, 3 in the morning, and 3 at night. which I gave to my dad to make sure I would not abuse them, and he set up a regiment to get me down to one pill a day and then no more.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Posts: 63
Originally Posted by exjunky 
The fact that your dad holds the pills is excellent. What's not so excellent is that you know how to get as much OC as you like by driving to your dealer(s). If you "cheat" your reduction schedule even once, then the method is probably a failure for you, but it's not your doctor's fault.
very true, and the fact that me nor my fiance (who I got involved with oxy's, no matter what you say about people having there own mind, I got her involved) we only had the urge to call the dealer the first day of the whole program, she wanted to go buy a 40 and I still had a 20 left, I told her I'd give her mine so she wouldn't, which she agreed to, I suffered a little bit more that night than normal, but I would rather that than give that ****** any more cash. I can pretty much get anything I want, I know the wrong people, morphine pills, dilaudid, oxy's, methadone waffers, percs, we've stayed away.
and to peachy1005 I would love to hear your story. I'm leaving for vacation in a few hours, so hopefully you'll have time to post before then, I'm checking my post periodically.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
My AH is addicted to Oxy's too. He just had surgery last week so I'm afraid that we are going to be back to square one. The brain will want more after just a little taste. He's looking into methadone. It's apparently not as user-friendly as suboxone but it's cheaper. He's been on it before and hated it so if he's seriously looking into it again, it must be bad.
I wish you luck! Good choice letting your Dad hold the pills. I hope the weaning helps and keeps the withdrawals to a minimum.
I wish you luck! Good choice letting your Dad hold the pills. I hope the weaning helps and keeps the withdrawals to a minimum.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: colorado springs
Posts: 123
hey, just wanted to put my 2 cents in and say that a wean can be sucessful- I had similar story to yours as far as drug of choice (and method of intake ) . I was doing about the same amount, too - between 150 - 200 mg/day. I quit the oxycontin on a saturday, and switched to norco (hydrocodone 10/325). I took 8 norco a day for the first week, then down to 6, 4 and 2 the following weeks. I was feeling physical withdrawals the entire time from the oxycontin that was getting out of my system; even with the 80mg hydrocodone a day I was taking, it still was no walk in the park.
When I came off the narcs entirely, it was a full 72 hours of hell - no sleep, diarrhea, restless legs/chills etc.
What I wanted to stress to you is that while this is no walk in the park, it can be done, and will-power will be your greatest ally. I think it is wonderful that you are under a doctor's care for this, and that your dad is so understanding and able to help you. I think the idea of having you dad dole them out is outstanding. Just take it one day or one hour, or one minute at a time, whatever you have to do to continually put off taking the next one is what worked for me.
Feel free to PM me at any time with specific questions on what to expect, or just to chat.
Good luck to you
- Brad
) . I was doing about the same amount, too - between 150 - 200 mg/day. I quit the oxycontin on a saturday, and switched to norco (hydrocodone 10/325). I took 8 norco a day for the first week, then down to 6, 4 and 2 the following weeks. I was feeling physical withdrawals the entire time from the oxycontin that was getting out of my system; even with the 80mg hydrocodone a day I was taking, it still was no walk in the park.When I came off the narcs entirely, it was a full 72 hours of hell - no sleep, diarrhea, restless legs/chills etc.
What I wanted to stress to you is that while this is no walk in the park, it can be done, and will-power will be your greatest ally. I think it is wonderful that you are under a doctor's care for this, and that your dad is so understanding and able to help you. I think the idea of having you dad dole them out is outstanding. Just take it one day or one hour, or one minute at a time, whatever you have to do to continually put off taking the next one is what worked for me.
Feel free to PM me at any time with specific questions on what to expect, or just to chat.
Good luck to you
- Brad
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 32
Hi fluffy --cool name. I just wanted to let you know that the advice you are getting is legit. I was doing about 120mg of NORCO and/or Oxy about 8 days ago and posting the entire story on another board. I have had 6 relapses and REALLY wanted to get off the stuff each time. And each relapse was higher and higher a dose. Never had a dealer, that was a good thing. 8 days ago I came clean to my wife (again) and said screw it. I went CT (cold turkey). Had nothing but immodium and vitamins and water. I am at one week clean now and feel much better. I really do. It hard to believe that I wasted so much time and money on that crap at this point. You can do this. It takes a really good plan and you have to stick to it. You did the right thing talking to your DR. You might want to go back and tell the DR. that you are going to take 4 straight days off, get yourself down a bit more , then just flush it. All you are doing with a TAPER plan is prolonged the intensity of the withdrawals. You will not be on the floor, in a pile of poop and puke, trust me. You will feel like you did a day 4 the last time you stopped, actually probably better. The Benzo will help with withdrawals, but PLEASE GOD, do not take 70mgs EVER again. You are sooooooooo lucky you didnt die. Remember that, heck with the kid on the scooter, the amount of drugs in your system at the time could have stopped your heart. That should scare you into stopping and be THE REASON that you hold on too when the WD's kick in. I just thought of a clean and pill free vacation that I have coming up in 2 weeks. NO PILLS, NO WORRIES, NO LIES. Please stay with us and learn and get healthy.
D
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 63
Originally Posted by Sugah
I wish you luck with your plan. Does your fiance have a plan, too?
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Peace & Love,
Sugah
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
So glad the kid is okay. No experience w/ oxy, just norcos but I am sure there are ppl who will have more insight. I went cold turkey and was sick for a few days.
I have 60 days today though, and you can too! find an NA meeting and you will be so glad.
hang in there, keep posting too!
Sheila
I have 60 days today though, and you can too! find an NA meeting and you will be so glad.
hang in there, keep posting too!
Sheila
You're never alone!!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,191
Praying for you Fluffy,,
You can do this,, many people here have, and there is excellent support here, as you have found out. Just keep posting, and like someone else said, just don't ever go back..
When you are off, you will be free......
God Bless,
Becky
You can do this,, many people here have, and there is excellent support here, as you have found out. Just keep posting, and like someone else said, just don't ever go back..
When you are off, you will be free......
God Bless,
Becky
Waiting For Engines
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 572
Hey Fluffy,
I think you and your doctor have worked out a sound plan and that you are working on getting clean. I am doing a similar method with my PM MD and I am going to NA Meetings 2 times a day right now.
Welcome to the forum and G-d Bless you!
I think you and your doctor have worked out a sound plan and that you are working on getting clean. I am doing a similar method with my PM MD and I am going to NA Meetings 2 times a day right now.
Welcome to the forum and G-d Bless you!
Waiting For Engines
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 572
Originally Posted by fluffyarmpit
she's on it with me, I have the coolest doctor ever, I went in with my dad and explained to my doc I'm engaged, she was doing the same amount, and the perscription you wrote me (80 20mg oxycodone) was being split by me so she wouldn't go through withdrawls while i'm staying fine, which would make me a very big ******* number one, and make her call the dealer and buy them. My dad was there I told my doctor my dad has complete control of my pills. My doctor said of course I shouldn't be sharing, and then said we aren't ever going to talk about this again, and wrote me a prescription for 270 20mg oxy's for me and my fiance to have my dad split up and hopefully not even use them all. He also prescribed me clonidine, which helps me out a lot when I get really upset, and has also pretty much stopped my useage of valium which i think is good. We are on the right track and appreciate everyone, I'm just worried bout withdrawls when i'm taking one a day, then no mas. thanks everyone.
I am not going to give medical advice but I agree with the way your doctor is helping the TWO of you as well as the administration of clonidine. In fact, I am going to talk about clonodine to my Pain Management MD since I am starting to get some withdrawels--I dropped from 150 MG of Methodone to 90MG, and am going to 60 MG in 2 weeks. So I know what that fear of w/d is all about. I think you all have the support of one of the few caring MDs out there so you should be okay --Man, I am impressed with your what you all are doing, but maybe you should become a freind of Bill W's, too.
Just my 2 cents.
3
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Posts: 63
just got back from my trip at the coast, had an awesome time with my fiance and my pup we just got a few days ago to help out with our recovery. If anyone has had any experience with clonidine, has it made your stomach upset at all? I'm quitting my anti depressants(zoloft) they have made me so much worse since taking them, I had a long talk with my fiance, and we both decided thats whats best, I've never been depressed or had a problem with crying uncontrollably, but since on them, thats exactly how I've felt. My stomach is always upset, I haven't taken them today and I feel fine, my stomach feels the best it has in I don't know how long. Seriously thanks a lot for everyones post and replies and support, I signed up at a different website before I found this one, and the difference is like night and day, you guys are very supportive, I love it!
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