914born

Today like many days I went to work high as hell SMH. Only treated 5 patients the last 2 hrs of my 12 hr shift. The other 10hrs were spent locked in my office trying to avoid the D.O.C. cocaine is ruining my life I need serious help before I die, or even worse lose my job.

suki44883

Yes, you do need help. Realizing that you do is the first step.

What is your plan?

Dee74

I've seen many medical professionals pass through here 914born - if you look back at you posts this has been going on a long time.

If you lose your job how will you and the kids get on?

Whether it's NA CA (cocaine anon) or some other meeting based group, counselling or inpatient or or outpatient rehab I think it's time to do something about this.

Willpower is clearly not cutting it.

D

mfanch

I'm a nurse anesthetist (and fentanyl addict). I remember when I was where you are now. Miserable and trying to avoid using at work. Unfortunately, I had drugs in my pocket all day and it was usually just a matter of time. Sometimes I could resist, but most of the time I didn't.

For me...at some point, getting sober was more important than my job (once the switch clicked, I wanted sobriety more than ANYTHING). Addiction doesn't get better, it gets worse. Can you take PTO and, like Dee suggested, get a plan you can execute? I needed accountability and so did meetings, outpatient treatment, individual counseling.

If you don't do it on your own and then get "found out" at work, you are then involving your license and must do it "their way" in order to get your license back. In addition to getting fired....you will either be in the compliance or disciplinary branch of your board and oh what fun the board is (*sarcasm).

AnvilheadII

yes you do need help - so what concrete steps are you going to take? TODAY?

you have a lot of reasons to get cleaned up - your children, your job, the patients you see, your very life. it is NOT impossible to quit AND stay quit.