How long does this last? Opiate withdrawal...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi Just RJ
Hi,
How are you doing?
It looks like you've been beat up a bit along the way.
Sleep has always been a big issue for me, and even Ambien doesn't work.
Neither does Melatonin for me, but works for some. Note: Melatonin is an OTC herbal type remedy that only works when it is DARK. Has to do with brain chemicals that respond to the dark. Also make sure the room you sleep in is cool.
I, too, was put on oxys for orthopedic reasons. It's the worst drug ever prescribed for me. Obviously.
How are you doing?
It looks like you've been beat up a bit along the way.
Sleep has always been a big issue for me, and even Ambien doesn't work.
Neither does Melatonin for me, but works for some. Note: Melatonin is an OTC herbal type remedy that only works when it is DARK. Has to do with brain chemicals that respond to the dark. Also make sure the room you sleep in is cool.
I, too, was put on oxys for orthopedic reasons. It's the worst drug ever prescribed for me. Obviously.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 58
recovery I think
Hi FT. I'm okay. Still can't get the sleep I need. The Ambien puts me to sleep but doesn't keep me asleep. My sleep is still broken. I'm tired all the time. Very frustrated. Yep...been beat up a lot. Don't know what I'm going to do next, except I know pain meds are out. My back is killing me and the pain gets exhausting. That's part of the reason I can't sleep as well...can't get comfortable. It's always something.
How about you? How are you holding up?
How about you? How are you holding up?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
What is sleep?
I think the oxy's broke my sleep cycle, and that's where I believe the PAWS predictions about recovery. I guess it does take a long time to get your circadian rhythm back to normal. If ever. I find OTC sleep meds either don't work or make me feel weird the next day. My husband takes OTC doxylamine, which is not benadryl but packaged by the same people. He likes it. You have to read the labels to find it. It doesn't help me at all.
I was put on a VERY mild antidepressant called Remeron (mirtazapine) which has the weird attribute of working to make you sleepy only in VERY small doses. It has to be prescribed by a doc, but it is such a mild, and under-used anti-depressant, and doesn't work as an anti-depressant that well, that most docs don't even think to try it. I find it actually works for me, but I long for the all-night-long sleep/rest I used to get.
As to the pain part -- oxy's actually ended up making my pain worse, so I don't crave them for the pain, I crave them for the sense of well-being they used to give me. It's an illusion, though, because the sense of well-being goes away and you can't get it back again after the high doses of oxy's destroy your dopamine receptors, which is what happened to me. Then I got toxic, so so sick, every morning so so sick until I could swallow that first handful of pills. Thankfully, I recall the being sick part VERY vividly, so it is now actually a deterrant to going back to oxy use.
Pain and sleep.
Those are the issues. The pain part, I deal with that with ibuprofen, which rarely works, and Excedrin, which sometimes works. Really, with orthopedic pain it seems that physical therapy to the "supporting structures" -- for me, the quads and stretching, which support the fake knees I now have. For you, maybe you could consult a physical therapist who could help you find the right muscle groups to work and stretch. I never used to believe that until it happened to me.
So, yeah, the whole thing is crappy. Especially which physicians are so quick to write a script for ANYTHING they may have heard helps with us addicts. You are right about the beta blockers, also Clonidine, because if you don't have high blood pressure, they only make things WORSE. I had swelling in my legs from the oxycodone, not from congestive heart failure. So using diuretics is stupid when stopping the oxy's and adding some exercise is what really is going to work.
I'm rambling again. But I thought of you and your struggles with ways to feel better, and you don't fit right into the addict recovery mold perfectly, and maybe none of us do. I think recovery is very individual. You seem very level headed and don't carry false notions of recovery, and how to do it.
Keep posting. I'm listening, and I get a lot out of your posts of how you are doing this "recovery thing," too.
I was put on a VERY mild antidepressant called Remeron (mirtazapine) which has the weird attribute of working to make you sleepy only in VERY small doses. It has to be prescribed by a doc, but it is such a mild, and under-used anti-depressant, and doesn't work as an anti-depressant that well, that most docs don't even think to try it. I find it actually works for me, but I long for the all-night-long sleep/rest I used to get.
As to the pain part -- oxy's actually ended up making my pain worse, so I don't crave them for the pain, I crave them for the sense of well-being they used to give me. It's an illusion, though, because the sense of well-being goes away and you can't get it back again after the high doses of oxy's destroy your dopamine receptors, which is what happened to me. Then I got toxic, so so sick, every morning so so sick until I could swallow that first handful of pills. Thankfully, I recall the being sick part VERY vividly, so it is now actually a deterrant to going back to oxy use.
Pain and sleep.
Those are the issues. The pain part, I deal with that with ibuprofen, which rarely works, and Excedrin, which sometimes works. Really, with orthopedic pain it seems that physical therapy to the "supporting structures" -- for me, the quads and stretching, which support the fake knees I now have. For you, maybe you could consult a physical therapist who could help you find the right muscle groups to work and stretch. I never used to believe that until it happened to me.
So, yeah, the whole thing is crappy. Especially which physicians are so quick to write a script for ANYTHING they may have heard helps with us addicts. You are right about the beta blockers, also Clonidine, because if you don't have high blood pressure, they only make things WORSE. I had swelling in my legs from the oxycodone, not from congestive heart failure. So using diuretics is stupid when stopping the oxy's and adding some exercise is what really is going to work.
I'm rambling again. But I thought of you and your struggles with ways to feel better, and you don't fit right into the addict recovery mold perfectly, and maybe none of us do. I think recovery is very individual. You seem very level headed and don't carry false notions of recovery, and how to do it.
Keep posting. I'm listening, and I get a lot out of your posts of how you are doing this "recovery thing," too.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
OMG ive been worried sick bc ive been having swelling and didnt know why. i figured i was done for, u know had heart or kidney , liver disease, ive been so depressed praying for the strength to say no to these pills and then thinking what the hell, im probably gonna die anyway. i can really get in my head since i quit drinkin. lord i hope this swelling goes away when i quit this crap. my legs swell awful by the end of the night. its hard to take care of 60 plus people and be in the shape im in, but im hangin in there.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
RINKY: My feet were swelling so bad from the oxy's that they made me have DOPPLER STUDIES to make sure I didn't have a blood clot or something. Knee surgeries make them worry about that kind of thing. Oxys (and hydros) can bug your kidneys and make you retain water. When it is in both legs kind of equally, but below the knee, it's called "dependent edema." If you are on your feet a lot, it can be awful. I have noticed since I quit oxys, my knees (both fake) don't feel swollen inside anymore, and my dependent edema is going away. It's probably a combination of stuff, because on oxy's I ate worth sh!t, also, disregarding good nutrition pretty much altogether.
So, there are lots of health benefits to quitting the opiates, in addition to detoxing your body from that poisonous crap. When the opiate fog clears, you start realizing that you are better able to move, exercise, eat better, drink fluids better, etc. My face was even puffy on oxys. Skin worth crap, too.
You probably know what I mean. Argh.
So, there are lots of health benefits to quitting the opiates, in addition to detoxing your body from that poisonous crap. When the opiate fog clears, you start realizing that you are better able to move, exercise, eat better, drink fluids better, etc. My face was even puffy on oxys. Skin worth crap, too.
You probably know what I mean. Argh.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 58
Recovery I think
FT, you never ramble. I listen (read) everything you say. You too, seem level headed. I have no illusions as to what to expect. Somewhere I heard/read that 90 days is a magic number of sorts. So far I'm doing well with no cravings and no desire to go back to that. I spent a good part of the day cutting grass on our 4+ acres. My back was killing me from all the jostling, but I'll live with it. No swelling or any weird stuff for me. Just screwy b/p. I had borderline hypertension before, so this comes as no surprise. But the meds the docs put me on have made me worse (imagine that!). Gonna try hitting the weights tomorrow. Been putting it off because I've been so tired, so I'm just going to attempt to force myself.
None of the OTC meds work for me. I am familiar with what your hubby is taking. Just let him know it may affect his prostate. So if he has pain or trouble peeing, that's why.
As to the person with swelling, you need to see a doctor. Get your blood pressure checked, you may be retaining fluids. A diarretic should help. Don't panic. Many things can cause swelling, especially if you're on your feet a long time.
FT- Thanks for the encouragement. Always a pleasure. Be well my friend.
None of the OTC meds work for me. I am familiar with what your hubby is taking. Just let him know it may affect his prostate. So if he has pain or trouble peeing, that's why.
As to the person with swelling, you need to see a doctor. Get your blood pressure checked, you may be retaining fluids. A diarretic should help. Don't panic. Many things can cause swelling, especially if you're on your feet a long time.
FT- Thanks for the encouragement. Always a pleasure. Be well my friend.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
JustRJ:
The weights are probably a good idea. My guess is you have already had PT people tell you what muscle groups to focus on. Sounds like you have the "opportunity" to exercise with all that acreage to manage! My husband wears a wide, black, back brace thingee to help support his back when he does that kind of stuff. I just have to work the quads and hamstrings and keep my knees flexible. I've been told upper body weights would be a good idea, too. I think if you can get your large muscles toned, your metabolism just works at a higher level, and in general that can make you feel better.
I'm waiting for the "good" feelings to come back. I can feel them coming. When I first quit oxys, I literally could not walk across the room without getting short of breath.
What I like to do now that the weather is getting better is hit the marina and docks where my husband and I can do a good 2 mile walk around a path that surrounds the whole port area here. We've been doing this same walk for 30 years. Hard to believe. I didn't do that walk for 2 YEARS while I was addicted to oxys. Well, I tried a couple of times, but I couldn't do it without taking a handful of oxys first. And then, I felt sick afterwards.
What a crazy thing, being addicted. I'm only 3 months off oxy's now, such a short time in the scheme of things. But, f!ck the pain in my knees, and in my back. Now that I have two new knees, AND I'm off oxy's, now I can actually walk again. That was the point of the surgeries, after all, wasn't it?
Stupid "addict brain" lies. YES I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU, OXYS.
SickButHappy is back on the "I'm going cold turkey..." thread. What a treat. He always has something outrageous to say, and I love it. So I'll say it here, too:
FOK the OX!
It's worth it, guys.
Hey Rinky! Sorry if I thought you were a guy. Lots of people here think I am, too, until I mention my husband! Even then.... well, HEY!
Rinky, your time is coming, I can tell. I love it when you are here.
FT
The weights are probably a good idea. My guess is you have already had PT people tell you what muscle groups to focus on. Sounds like you have the "opportunity" to exercise with all that acreage to manage! My husband wears a wide, black, back brace thingee to help support his back when he does that kind of stuff. I just have to work the quads and hamstrings and keep my knees flexible. I've been told upper body weights would be a good idea, too. I think if you can get your large muscles toned, your metabolism just works at a higher level, and in general that can make you feel better.
I'm waiting for the "good" feelings to come back. I can feel them coming. When I first quit oxys, I literally could not walk across the room without getting short of breath.
What I like to do now that the weather is getting better is hit the marina and docks where my husband and I can do a good 2 mile walk around a path that surrounds the whole port area here. We've been doing this same walk for 30 years. Hard to believe. I didn't do that walk for 2 YEARS while I was addicted to oxys. Well, I tried a couple of times, but I couldn't do it without taking a handful of oxys first. And then, I felt sick afterwards.
What a crazy thing, being addicted. I'm only 3 months off oxy's now, such a short time in the scheme of things. But, f!ck the pain in my knees, and in my back. Now that I have two new knees, AND I'm off oxy's, now I can actually walk again. That was the point of the surgeries, after all, wasn't it?
Stupid "addict brain" lies. YES I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU, OXYS.
SickButHappy is back on the "I'm going cold turkey..." thread. What a treat. He always has something outrageous to say, and I love it. So I'll say it here, too:
FOK the OX!
It's worth it, guys.
Hey Rinky! Sorry if I thought you were a guy. Lots of people here think I am, too, until I mention my husband! Even then.... well, HEY!
Rinky, your time is coming, I can tell. I love it when you are here.
FT
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
Hope everyone is doing better. Going on 75 days clean and still occassionally have issues with sleep. RJ sorry you had such issues getting meds from your doc and have had so many probs with medical community. I happen to like my doctor and there are about 50% of them where I live that I wouldn't send my worst enemy. My doc won't give me anything so I was shocked when he even gave me some Ambien. I am not a big fan of Ambien cause it makes some people hallucinate and act crazy in their sleep. I tried regular first and it worked to help me stay asleep but then couldn't stay that way so tried Ambien CR and that was better for me. I didn't take anything for blood pressure cause I figured it would eventually level off on it's own but it has taken some time. I didn't expect it to go away for awhile cause I was so high strung with thoughts and physical symptoms. Am liking life better clean and sober and it sucks for people that have chronic pain...I have no excuse and was taking drugs just for the high. Broke all my personal values I ever had in life and now back to living the way I should be.
Wishing everyone well.
Wishing everyone well.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Likehappiness:
75 days clean is FANTASTIC! Before I quit oxy's I thought I was never EVER going to feel normal again. I feel better now, more clear headed and calm, than I have since before the OXY HELL RIDE. Even though I started taking them innocently enough, by the time I stopped, there was NO WAY I was using them for pain. Ah, the lies we tell ourselves.
75 days clean is FANTASTIC! Before I quit oxy's I thought I was never EVER going to feel normal again. I feel better now, more clear headed and calm, than I have since before the OXY HELL RIDE. Even though I started taking them innocently enough, by the time I stopped, there was NO WAY I was using them for pain. Ah, the lies we tell ourselves.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 58
recovery I think - part ?
I appreciate you guys (gals). I was using Norco, but have used about everything. I decided I didn't want anything stronger. They had me on oxys, dilaudid, opana, methadone, fentynal, and I don't know what else. Nothing helped the pain. It's too deep in the bone. After cutting grass for a few hours today, by back is on fire, but I don't even think about using again. Life is too good without it. Using I couldn't go to the bathroom without help, no sex, cravings, etc. All that is gone. And I can have sex again...WOOHOO! I know it's no big deal to the women (JK!), but it's great to have things working again. So I compare then and now. It makes not using sooo much better. I guess that's what I don't understand about relapse. I have no desire to go back. Who wants to do enemas every day. I know, TMI. But that was my life. My wife wanted no part of me. It was all bad. I can't say, "Oh it was so great getting high," because I didn't get high, just numb. As it's been said, we all handle this stuff different. I feel I've also dispelled the notion that once an addict, always an addict. I never considered myself to be one, just couldn't stop on my own. Now that I have, I'm done. My detox experience was horrible, but it saved my life. Once I get some more energy, I have projects to get back to. Want to ride my motorcycle before summer, so I have to get it running. Got a laundry list...just need the energy.
But NO pain meds thank you!
Thanks you guys!
But NO pain meds thank you!
Thanks you guys!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Right On JustRJ:
Don't be so quick to think the "ladies" don't feel the same way about the sex thing. You might be surprised! There's just something nasty when nothing "down there" works right, which is what happens on opiates. Also on steroids, BTW. Don't be so impressed by some of the MOST MANLY muscle dudes, because "down South" where it counts -- hey, well, just remember I told you. I'm surprised there is not a steroids thread here somewhere.
Don't be so quick to think the "ladies" don't feel the same way about the sex thing. You might be surprised! There's just something nasty when nothing "down there" works right, which is what happens on opiates. Also on steroids, BTW. Don't be so impressed by some of the MOST MANLY muscle dudes, because "down South" where it counts -- hey, well, just remember I told you. I'm surprised there is not a steroids thread here somewhere.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Getting "high"
Just a quick thought about this notion of getting "high."
I think it surprises a lot of "non-addicts" to find out that a lot of opiate users don't use to get "high." If we ever did, such a thing is LONG GONE by the end of the OXY HELL RIDE. At the end of MY run, I only ever used to feel "not sick." The few times I ever got "high" from oxys were an accidental "surprise" when I didn't realize how many I had taken. I think the morning "rush" I got from oxys was the closest I ever got.
I think it surprises a lot of "non-addicts" to find out that a lot of opiate users don't use to get "high." If we ever did, such a thing is LONG GONE by the end of the OXY HELL RIDE. At the end of MY run, I only ever used to feel "not sick." The few times I ever got "high" from oxys were an accidental "surprise" when I didn't realize how many I had taken. I think the morning "rush" I got from oxys was the closest I ever got.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
Unfortunately I was getting "high" and that's what made me want more and more of the crap. However, I was straight IVing the stuff... I didn't want pills...I wanted the straight shot...god glad I am over that and glad I wasn't on it very long but boy did I love that euphoric feeling. Now I set myself straight by thinking about how awful the feeling was of my detox...that's enough to keep me sober; as well as one day at a time!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 58
recovery I think
FT- I did say just kidding! I know 5 women who like sex as much as men! LOL!
Apparently the experiences are the same with just about all opiates. I was taking them to not feel sick too. Cravings were overwhelming. Had to keep a piece at my bedstand in the event I woke with cravings, which was a lot!
Like you, I couldn't get a pill fast enough in the mornings, and the afternoons, and the evenings, etc.
Glad it's over. Just a few other bugs to work out, non-drug related, and I'll be okay.
Don't take steroids, exercise does it for me. Just need the energy, which I can't seem to muster.
And my back...oh my back! I want to rip out my spine! Oh well, that's another story.
Hope your day is good.
Apparently the experiences are the same with just about all opiates. I was taking them to not feel sick too. Cravings were overwhelming. Had to keep a piece at my bedstand in the event I woke with cravings, which was a lot!
Like you, I couldn't get a pill fast enough in the mornings, and the afternoons, and the evenings, etc.
Glad it's over. Just a few other bugs to work out, non-drug related, and I'll be okay.
Don't take steroids, exercise does it for me. Just need the energy, which I can't seem to muster.
And my back...oh my back! I want to rip out my spine! Oh well, that's another story.
Hope your day is good.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 58
recovery I think!?!
I feel like I'm losing my friggin mind! I'm sick of not being able to do the things I want. Always tired. Tired of the domestic scene. Tired of washing dishes, laundry, etc. I don't mind helping out the wife. I know she appreciates it, but I feel emasculated! Can't find a job for sh*t! The weight on my shoulders is nearly impossible to bear. I can't keep dumping on the wife, it frustrates her.
My back is driving me nuts. I work through the pain, but pay for it. Several months ago, I seriously considered "ending it." Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't have been a bad idea, but I know better. I am so disappointed. I thought once the pill thing was over, I would have my life back. Now I don't know when I felt worse. I am not going to relapse, but I sure am at a loss.
My back is driving me nuts. I work through the pain, but pay for it. Several months ago, I seriously considered "ending it." Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't have been a bad idea, but I know better. I am so disappointed. I thought once the pill thing was over, I would have my life back. Now I don't know when I felt worse. I am not going to relapse, but I sure am at a loss.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Hang on JustRJ
Originally Posted by JustRJ 
I feel like I'm losing my friggin mind! I'm sick of not being able to do the things I want. Always tired. Tired of the domestic scene. Tired of washing dishes, laundry, etc. I don't mind helping out the wife. I know she appreciates it, but I feel emasculated! Can't find a job for sh*t! The weight on my shoulders is nearly impossible to bear. I can't keep dumping on the wife, it frustrates her.
My back is driving me nuts. I work through the pain, but pay for it. Several months ago, I seriously considered "ending it." Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't have been a bad idea, but I know better. I am so disappointed. I thought once the pill thing was over, I would have my life back. Now I don't know when I felt worse. I am not going to relapse, but I sure am at a loss.
My back is driving me nuts. I work through the pain, but pay for it. Several months ago, I seriously considered "ending it." Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't have been a bad idea, but I know better. I am so disappointed. I thought once the pill thing was over, I would have my life back. Now I don't know when I felt worse. I am not going to relapse, but I sure am at a loss.
I couldn't believe my GOOD LUCK to find such a miracle drug. No antidepressant had ever done this for me. WOW. Another "ADDICT BRAIN" LIE. Even the antidepressant qualities are, alas, fleeting. No matter how hard you chase them, they are never to be found again as tolerance and then oxy toxicity set in.
Even though you never got "high" on oxys, I was told by the addiction specialist I talked anonymously to on the phone one day when I was "researching," one of the most addictive effects of oxycodone is the psychological "benefits" it has. One doc that refused to continue to prescribe for called it "Perky Percocet." She refused to prescribe for me because she saw where I was going for it. This was early in my addiction and of course I didn't listen.
Unfortunately, one of the things that happens in withdrawal is you get a "rebound effect" of a cluster of things. Like WORSE pain than it was before you used them. WORSE depression than you had before you used them. WORSE fatigue than you ever thought imaginable. I was told by this same specialist that the fact that oxys ENERGIZED me was a DANGER SIGN that I was either addicted now or was going to be. He was right.
Of course, I think you already know all this. And me telling you about it isn't going to help, I realize that.
I guess my point is this -- you're going to feel really crappy emotionally, physically, and in every other way -- for awhile. I can't remember how many days off you are as I write this, but I'm 3+ months clean now and still feeling the "rebound". All except the pain. The oxys made my pain worse at the end. All except for about 45 minutes after the first dose in the morning. That ONE DOSE was almost enough to stop me from going off oxys. It was THE DOSE of terror for me, because I was so afraid I would not be able to tolerate the mornings if I continued to feel as sick as I did while using with nothing to stop it.
This economy sucks bad, too. I can't remember being this broke in my entire life. Even in the late 70's when the real estate market went nuts. I didn't live through the depression, but this is some serious economic sh!t we're in. I work for a bunch of lawyers right now (free lance), and even the LAWYERS are doing crappy, laying off staff, losing their jobs, taking cases they would never have taken before.
Anyway, my rant does not likely make you feel better, but writing sh!t kinds of gets stuff off my chest. Maybe knowing how crappy everyone else is doing does something for me, so I know I am not alone with struggling finances.
Of course, you already know that if you tell anyone you are going to "end it", you will be instantly told you need to seek emergency care like YESTERDAY. I don't get that impression from your words. But, I would be among those to tell you that, dude. I'm not impressed by the way pills are thrown at people like candy for depression, but some people actually need them.
So, hey. I hope you are okay. Life sucks right now. But, I do believe every word in the little paragraph that comes after my post every time I write. We are where we are at the moment because it is where we are SUPPOSED to be. If I didn't believe that, I truly would go nuts.
Keep posting, dude. I think it helps, a least a little.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 58
recovery I think?
Funny you mention that. There have been studies conducted about the use of opiates to treat depression. The problem is/was, the addictive nature and the tolerance, which make them ill-advised for depression. I struggled with depression as well, but it seems to never end sometimes. I think if I could find some self-worth, it would help. My wife is the bread-winner. I did it for 20 years. Now I feel like a leech. And like I said, I'm tired of the domestic stuff. You don't feel like much of a man with an apron around your waist. I don't wear one, but feel like I do.
I'm not going to end it. I know the pain it produces. My dad went out that way. Not fun. But I would be lying if I said I didn't think of it. Not feeling well, I'm stuck in the house day in and day out. I force myself out. Today I filled holes with dirt, cut more grass, and did a lot of cussing! Oh well!
I am of the opinion that I don't give a sh*t about my back anymore. If it breaks, it breaks. I refuse to let it control me. I'll be sore for a day or so, then get back to it. The good thing is that pills are still not in the picture. Actually, it's hard to believe considering how long I used them. I'm about 48 days off them and no desire to use. I am getting some sleep with the help of some pharmaceuticals and a beer. But when they're gone, I'm done with them too. It was too exhausting on 2-3 hours of sleep.
Well, dudette, I don't want to bore you. I appreciate the heck out of you!
I'll keep ya posted. I got nowhere else to go...
I'm not going to end it. I know the pain it produces. My dad went out that way. Not fun. But I would be lying if I said I didn't think of it. Not feeling well, I'm stuck in the house day in and day out. I force myself out. Today I filled holes with dirt, cut more grass, and did a lot of cussing! Oh well!
I am of the opinion that I don't give a sh*t about my back anymore. If it breaks, it breaks. I refuse to let it control me. I'll be sore for a day or so, then get back to it. The good thing is that pills are still not in the picture. Actually, it's hard to believe considering how long I used them. I'm about 48 days off them and no desire to use. I am getting some sleep with the help of some pharmaceuticals and a beer. But when they're gone, I'm done with them too. It was too exhausting on 2-3 hours of sleep.
Well, dudette, I don't want to bore you. I appreciate the heck out of you!
I'll keep ya posted. I got nowhere else to go...
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Bored? NOT!
Hey JustRJ:
Lordy, Lordy, do you sound like my husband or what?
That is a compliment.
And you are not boring me. At all.
Sometimes life circumstances turn our roles around. My husband and I have run businesses together for the past 30 years, and I have relied on him heavily to be the "GLUE" that holds our lives together. It doesn't really matter who "the checks" are written out to. We have a community pot.
My husband is a brilliant man, intelligent, caring, hard working as they come. He has worked hard right along beside me since we got married about 40 years ago. Yeah, weird. But, hey.
The trouble is, as a kid he was told he was lazy. He wasn't. He was made to feel less than important, an afterthought. He was the "accidental" third son in a hard-drinkin' family, and since he was so much younger than his brothers, he never fit in. His brothers got all the perks, and he got NOTHING. Less than nothing. He got disdain.
No matter what my husband does, no matter how much I praise him, he hears "L-A-Z-Y." It sucks, at his age, but what his drunken parents did to him growing up can never be healed. My husband used to drink, and so did I, but we stopped over 20 years ago.
Life's twists and turns are just they way they are. My guess is you work just as hard as your wife does, just in different ways. She is lucky to have you. I am lucky to have my husband.
Our life has worked out to where I have always been the bread-winner, except when our boys were young and I stayed home and did not work outside the home for 7 years.
After that, I'm just the type of person that forges ahead and tend to be a workaholic. I just work. I always have. Maybe that's how it works with you guys, or maybe it's just the economy. With us, it's kind of both of those things. My husband could work as a substitute teacher (maybe, few jobs now) or he could work for "us." The "us" piece means I'm the lead person and he's the manager.
Here I've rambled on again. But, I'm just here to tell ya, it's okay not to be the person on the checks. You are half of a two person whole relationship, and my guess is that your wife feels the same way.
If not, find something you love to do and try to make a few bucks doing it. That's what we do, and so we are poor. Neither of us wants to commute to the "big city" and would rather live our humble little life just like it is. Money does not equal "worth."
Lordy, Lordy, do you sound like my husband or what?
That is a compliment.
And you are not boring me. At all.
Sometimes life circumstances turn our roles around. My husband and I have run businesses together for the past 30 years, and I have relied on him heavily to be the "GLUE" that holds our lives together. It doesn't really matter who "the checks" are written out to. We have a community pot.
My husband is a brilliant man, intelligent, caring, hard working as they come. He has worked hard right along beside me since we got married about 40 years ago. Yeah, weird. But, hey.
The trouble is, as a kid he was told he was lazy. He wasn't. He was made to feel less than important, an afterthought. He was the "accidental" third son in a hard-drinkin' family, and since he was so much younger than his brothers, he never fit in. His brothers got all the perks, and he got NOTHING. Less than nothing. He got disdain.
No matter what my husband does, no matter how much I praise him, he hears "L-A-Z-Y." It sucks, at his age, but what his drunken parents did to him growing up can never be healed. My husband used to drink, and so did I, but we stopped over 20 years ago.
Life's twists and turns are just they way they are. My guess is you work just as hard as your wife does, just in different ways. She is lucky to have you. I am lucky to have my husband.
Our life has worked out to where I have always been the bread-winner, except when our boys were young and I stayed home and did not work outside the home for 7 years.
After that, I'm just the type of person that forges ahead and tend to be a workaholic. I just work. I always have. Maybe that's how it works with you guys, or maybe it's just the economy. With us, it's kind of both of those things. My husband could work as a substitute teacher (maybe, few jobs now) or he could work for "us." The "us" piece means I'm the lead person and he's the manager.
Here I've rambled on again. But, I'm just here to tell ya, it's okay not to be the person on the checks. You are half of a two person whole relationship, and my guess is that your wife feels the same way.
If not, find something you love to do and try to make a few bucks doing it. That's what we do, and so we are poor. Neither of us wants to commute to the "big city" and would rather live our humble little life just like it is. Money does not equal "worth."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 58
Recovery I think~
Maybe I am your husband and we don't know it!
My home life wasn't so great. I've worked since I could get working papers, which was about 14. I don't remember. I guess I could say I'm multi-talented. I can fix, build, or do, just about anything. But for some reason, without making any money, it doesn't seem to matter. I know money doesn't equal self-worth, but I need a purpose, if you know what I mean. Men are funny that way. Once again, studies have been done, and men who lose their identity are at a greater risk of heart attack. When I left the military I was like a fish out of water. Crap jobs one after the other. Still don't fit in. Like you said, the economy is crap. I've considered ventures out of my comfort zone. Only time will tell.
Your husband is a lucky guy.
My home life wasn't so great. I've worked since I could get working papers, which was about 14. I don't remember. I guess I could say I'm multi-talented. I can fix, build, or do, just about anything. But for some reason, without making any money, it doesn't seem to matter. I know money doesn't equal self-worth, but I need a purpose, if you know what I mean. Men are funny that way. Once again, studies have been done, and men who lose their identity are at a greater risk of heart attack. When I left the military I was like a fish out of water. Crap jobs one after the other. Still don't fit in. Like you said, the economy is crap. I've considered ventures out of my comfort zone. Only time will tell.
Your husband is a lucky guy.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
RJ -- I was the bread winner in the family and have now sent us into financial crap hole. I am currently looking for a new job and that takes time. The sitting around the house is boring and that boredom causes depression, restlessness and a whole other ton of thoughts. But the boredom and the depression can be real triggers and that is what stinks. So...like you I try to stay busy and I have always hated house work but it gives me something to do!
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