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Stress Induced Paranoia ??

Old 07-16-2020, 04:37 AM
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Stress Induced Paranoia ??

My partner has been on his journey to recovery for about 3 months now. I see good, helping with chores again, doing his part with work, with our baby. Everything is going so well, heís on sub and about to start psychotherapy.
I know recovery isnít easy and thereís always the change of relapse. Knowing that I get so paranoid that heís using fent again but I havenít found anything? He doesnít carry cash now, he has a good amount of money saved up and no ATM withdrawals. No money sent to strangers. Literally nothing that points to him using but I still accuse him of it?!
I know Iím probably harming his recovery with always accusing but even if he were he wouldnít tell me the truth if he does relapse but he has his facilities number and says he would go to the detox center right away.
Is this my way of self-destructing? Getting him to fail so I have a reason to walk away?
With the stress of a 4 month old and hearing that 30-40 percentage of stories about relapse Iím just a paranoid mess. I know he has bad days were his body is just tired since it can take a year before he even is healed from all the substances but when I see him falling asleep or itching (He has eczema) Iím back to remembering what it was like for the past 2 years when he was abusing prescriptions.
Iím thinking once he starts the therapy we go and see someone together which he really wants to in order to gain my trust again. Heís such a talented, smart and funny guy that I just feel sad for him and at the same time resentment for everything I was put through.

Iím willing to walk away if need be but I feel like heís genuine and itís not like it was before. Just some ranting.
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Dee74 (07-18-2020)
Old 07-18-2020, 04:56 PM
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Hi BD

sorry this subforum is a bit quiet.

So, you're obviously been hurt before - paranoia rarely comes from nothing.
I think it's natural for it to take time for the fear of relapse to die down and for trust to be built up again.

If you think its worth it, I think counselling is a great idea.

D
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Old 07-23-2020, 08:53 PM
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In addition to counseling, I think that (both of you) working on your communication skills would be immensely helpful.

How aware is he of your paranoia? Do you two discuss it?
How aware is he that you don't trust him? Do you two discuss it?
How aware are you of what he's going through on a daily basis? Do you two discuss it?
How aware are you of the way he feels physically? Emotionally? Mentally? Do you two discuss it?
How aware are BOTH OF YOU of each other's fears? Do you discuss them with each other?

Communication sounds easy, but getting to the heart of stuff can feel like crawling up a mountain sometimes. Honest and open communication takes patience and skills. And then it takes some more patience. What one person says is not always what another person hears. Sometimes all we can do is say our piece as simply and as eloquently as possible, and then step back and wait to be asked for clarification.

Last edited by LumenandNyx; 07-23-2020 at 08:55 PM. Reason: It needs it.
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