brandyp79

Hey all ! So I was on Suboxone for 6 years ( the courts , probation really really wanted me on it ) so I Moved and decided I'm not doing the whole doctor chase , I want to start my career and can't depend on a pill that will ruin my life if i don't have it .. Don't get my wrong it was a life saver ! I was able to make many changes and get away from my drug seeking behavior ! I can say that 28 days off its still rough ( mentally ) ... Ok so I went from 4 milligrams to .05 overnight .. Then started skipping days . Did this for a few weeks and then jumped after I could skip three days without it ! I wanted to be in withdrawl but wanted it to be manageable .. I did my taper super fast which I don't suggest . But honestly it wasn't that bad .., I had a few symptoms , restless , hot and cold chills ( which I hate more than anything it's my kryptnite ) yawning , eye watering , but .. I didn't have restless legs , stomach issues , anxiety , etc . We are all different and I've never had issues with anxiety and if you do try to talk to your doctor to make it more comfortable ! Ok I'm rambling let me get to it ! I actually made videos of my withdrawl which I post on a group and although I don't feel like things are getting better at times I can see they are ! My first video I yawned like crazy as well as second , then you can see me getting better ! It's amazing .. So anyways all I see is horror stories online and it's not like that for everyone ! your brain has to heal and what I did was excersize ( of course you can't the first and second week ) and have lots of sex . For me , Suboxone wasn't good .. It made me depressed couldn't get off the couch , I became anti social and no sex drive , my husband and I are coming off them together . Ok so sorry my head is still a bit foggy bear with me ! Anyways , I was 107 pounds and in withdrawl my husband told me "men are visual and I'm not attracted to you , you are to skinny " .. Lol well guess we get honest im withdrawl .. Im 5*5 so 107 is a but frail ... Anyways I've gained 8 pounds off Suboxone ! Yay ! My only issue now is no motivation to do a thing . I have good days , but more bad than good ! But I'm so greatful for my good days . So here's the good ... ( well besides I have a toothache , just getting over withdrawl ... Bring it on universe ) I notice things now that I didn't before .. The sky , the mountains , I smell things , before I had Tunnell vision. It's like a cold bucket of water was dumped in my face and I woke up ! Then comes the guilt .. I have a six year old daughter and I feel like I haven't been present for her ... My emotions have come back full force , and I cry but it's good ! I don't cry all day , just when its appropriate , or when it comes to matters of the heart . I suggest when trying to taper make video diaries even if you don't post them ! Celebrate your little victories , they happen daily but it's hard to notice them when wrapped up in your own stuff ..... I got my life back and I couldn't be more greatful ! Please know you can do this , and I'm here if you need me !

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Brandy!!

28 Days is fantastic, great to have you on board here on SR!!

brandyp79

Thanks

Cleanfromsubs

I just want to tell you congrats! Your past the 30 days now (going by your posting date!) I am 85 days off suboxone and I can relate with you on a couple things! Suboxone got me soooo depressed and lifeless! At first it was great but after being on it for a year it started making me depressed! I was on it for 3 years 16mg for a year and 8 mg for 2 years and 4mg for a month, and I jumped from that! It wasn't as bad as the horror stories I read! I didn't sleep well for the first 45 days restless legs were my battle! After detox I felt great mentally because suboxone brought me down so much! I also gained weight also I don't know what it is but I have and that's the only bad thing that has came about from quitting! That's ok because I know I can take care of that! Keep up the good work and take one day at a time!

brandyp79

Congrats to you as well ! That's a big feat! How are you feeling mentally ? Any issues there ? I can't seem to find motivation but to be fair neither did I on suboxone ....I'm gaining weight too kinda happy about that but need to start working out more than I do ! I'm so happy for you , really , people don't do this often and we are success stories ! I wish you nothing but the best and please keep in touch