cruiser1911

I joined up here in early 2018 i had 5 weeks of sobriety in and and was on the brink of going back to drinking. in november i will be 4 years sober, and kind of wanted to give my story aslo so that i remember it. I was a late starter to the drinking game late twentys before my first drink. I was hooked almost immediately just loved it i could talk to people , my aches and pains would go away. Life was fun , but as soon as i found hard achohol was getting hammered mutiple times a week. Drank myself through the great recession while my business fell apart around me took my business from 7 figures gross sales to barely 6 now im getting hammered every nite but i can still just moderate right? All the things we tell ourselves. I met my wife in 2012 got married that year i was honest with her about my drinking but she hadnt realized actually how much i was drinking . Love is blind type crap finally in october of 2018 thing came to a head. i was starting to grab a drink Saturday mornings and would come home from work during the week have a drink before i even said hi to the kids then was drinking to blackout almost every night, i had had a horrible year, equipment was broken, had nothing saved for the winter and knew i would be divorced and most likely dead before spring if i didnt get help that scared me. But i couldnt pass the liquor store without grabbing a bottle, I went to the doc and got prescription for antabuse , i know it doesnt work for most, but i had to try something it worked for me and i quit drinking, and stayed quit. that winter and spring was absolutely brutal i found this site around december i would just sit and read for hours every evening while i couldnt sleep, days l would be driving to the job, and just start bawling, very embarrasing with my help in the truck lol. But i knew in my soul this was my last chance i would never stop again if i drank again. First 6 months absolutely brutal Had the ups and downs everyone has after a year it didnt get better, after 2 years i went to the doc and started working on my mental health and sleeping issues . That helped a little, but im happy now, somewhat adjusted , and my 2 kids havent seen thiier dad drunk on the floor laying in his vomit For 4 years now. My business has picked back up my life is better its not rainbows and unicorns but life is good. I would like to be more of a social person and improve my physical and mental health but life is good and im alive. maybe those things will becomes as important to me as not drinking and i will applie myself to them with as much intensity as i did to not drinking. If i do i will succeed at those as well until then i love sober living. This site was and has been a godsend it made the difference for me in my success thank you all.