Well let’s see I was raised in SoCal in a middle class family my Dad own a business my mom worked at City Hall.. I was an only child, I was spoiled rotten but my parents did install work ethics and a moral compass, I was really good at baseball my parents spent big bucks to go to private schools with don drysdale and sandy kofax my dad played for the Cardinals AAA team but got married and moved so he wanted me to have a career in the MLB I drank my first beer when I was 7 yrs old my dad gave it to me both my parents smoked I smoked my first cigarette when I was 13 and I got drunk for the first time when I was 14 yrs old also smoked weed at 14... I drank smoked weed and took RX pills through out school, when I went in the Army I really started drinking a lot when I got out I had an opportunity to play AAA ball and being the great addict I was I blew off that first practice to go get high and drink with a girl good bye MLB bye bye! Through out my drinking career I would sabotage myself all the time when good things would happen Job interviews appointments courts and so on I would just run from everything and everyone anyways I can see I need to condense this so I got married had two kids continued to drink and use drugs but not at work I had a technical job I had to think but many mornings at work with a hangover
my wife left me and then crap hit the fan I went off the deep end shooting heroin 6 for months living in downtown LA homeless and after 5 yrs and 26 programs 18 detoxes 3 overdoses I left LA and went to my moms in another state
when I got there I was done but didn’t know how to quit!!!
i had collected so many chips 30, 60, 90 even a 6mo chip
but could never keep sober I could never get to that year mark I had tried underground AA back then they only invited the real hard cases that just can’t keep sober you work step 1 thru 9 in a 24 hour marathon and the live the last three steps it was intense out in the woods with a camp fire and all these old timers screaming at ya I thought I was cured after that so I celebrated the next day! The thing is NOTHING worked nothing everybody had given up on me and wanted nothing to do with me except for my mom she continued to pray for me and would ask me to come to church I refused of course.
so I went to United Way told them I was broke but I needed a therapist so they hooked me up with this girl right out of Duke university doing a internship United way I saw her on Mondays and Thursdays for an hour I never missed a appointment first of all she was beautiful the first month was just getting to know her and stop thinking how beautiful she was and we weren’t going to run off together then for 6 months I just talked and she listen she would direct the conversation you know go back to that and so on but then the last two months she went over the patterns and causes in my life of why I do this or that and it made real good sense.
I knew why I drank I knew what set me off to drink but I still couldn’t stop it I remember getting on my knees and begging GOD to please help me stop if your real then please help me!! It took another year before I quit I had to make peace with God I had to forgive myself I to get humble I had to get grateful and then my life changed not only did I quit but the desire is completely gone, so I started a recovery program at my moms church the pastor was like don’t get disappointed if not many showed up the first meeting we had over a hundred they had to get more chairs but I got overwhelmed I thought I had the cure Jesus but I was seeing so much calls at night families fighting and drunk I was back in the middle of that life style again and I had to get away so I told the pastor and he said ok and they got someone else and that program is still going strong today thank God! But I had to be away from that alcoholic drama lifestyle I surrounded myself with good people all of my friends before were lesser than me so I picked friends that were doing much better than me in spiritual life work life financially my friends would be my new mentors I stayed close to the word I served in the church worked and focus on myself and being a better human being and caring for others more than myself I’ve learned so much it would take forever to tell you all the miricals I’ve witnessed and the mercy and blessings God has provided me with. I have over twenty years sober now I don’t remember the date and I don’t care to know that was always a set up for me to drink by counting days I had to learn to truly live day by day I remember the year and month and place but that’s it and I don’t think much about it either.
so for me it took really hitting the bottom moving to a new area learning my triggers and psychic and talking through my trauma’s of the past today I would have been labels PTSD but God has removed all of that I was told I would always be an alcoholic that I would never be cured.for me that is not true I know for a fact I will never drink again and have no desire to. A lot of family and friends ask to help so and so but I tell them it’s different for everybody I’ve seen people keep sober 20 yrs in AA I’ve seen people just quit most of them were not happy finding happiness in living and enjoying life I think is the key going to an AA meeting today would be very difficult for me to be around that it brings back hard times and bad memories. I pray for anybody that is struggling with addiction that you search your heart and come before Christ and ask for his help.if not get your but to a meeting and just listen hang around the successful people learn from them
the road of recovery for me was HELL and I would not wish it on anybody you have to have hope and hope starts with faith.
God Bless