Jake1961

I have been sober for two years today. When I was drinking I never thought I could stop. Except for an occasional day when I would not drink, maybe once or twice per month, I was a daily drinker for nearly 10 years. The amount I was drinking is not really relevant, but it was enough that if I continued I probably would be seriously ill or dead today.

Alcohol had taken control of my life and was the first thing I ‘d think about when I woke up; had to have a drinking plan for the day.

I’m one of the lucky ones; I never got arrested, got into a fight, or developed health issues due to drinking. I did damage my marriage and that may never be fixed and I missed many opportunities with my family and professional life.

One of the challenges I had is that in order to stop drinking I had to change habits. I never was a big bar drinker, preferring to drink alone at home. At parties or social events where I had a driver and I could not drink enough. I’ve come to terms with my excuses and am working to be comfortable with who I am as a sober person.

I knew I would have to stop drinking and the logical part of my brain kept saying “what is the benefit from drinking?”, usually while I was pouring another drink while leaning against the kitchen counter to keep my balance. The answer was, and still is, nothing.

The past two years have been filled with challenges to my sobriety; life happens. My parents having health issues and nearly losing my dad due to a medical error and the little voice was saying “just a couple of drinks and it will be OK”. The loss of a beloved family pet and the voice saying “just a couple of drinks and it will be OK”. Stressful work issues and problems and eventual retirement from my 30 year career, and the voice saying “just a couple of drinks and it will be OK”. Life happens, I had to learn to deal with it. Alcohol only makes things worse. I know that is a lie. Like many here I have realized that moderation is something I cannot do. There is the occasional wish that I could have a beer or two but I know that can never happen.

The decision to stop drinking came when I had a back injury and started taking narcotic pain meds. I was scared to death that I would either become addicted to them or have health issues by mixing them with alcohol. The meds had Tylenol and I had read of the potential liver damage from mixing it with alcohol.

The problem was how to quit. AA was not going to work for me for several reasons. This is not a knock against AA, it just was not for me. I used Google to research ways to stop drinking and came across SoberRecovery. I read a few self-help books and Jason Vales “Kick the Drink Easily” and it resonated with me. This web site and some early encouragement from Dee, Mountain Bob, Sober Wolf and others helped getting me off alcohol.

I have gone from a several time daily reader here to now only occasionally. I am firmly committed to remaining sober and come back here to reinforce what I have learned.

One concern I had is what will people say when I say I don’t drink, especially those that knew I drank? When I say “I don’t drink”, most say OK and let it go. A few have asked why not and I’ve just said “I was going down a path that was not going to end well, so I stopped”. I usually get a nod in agreement and it is dropped. Only one person ever said “never trust a man who does not drink”, which I replied “because drunks and alcoholics are so trustworthy?” and I just walked away.

One of the worst things I ever did on my life was to start drinking. One of the best was stopping. Sober life is great and I am enjoying life now more than ever. I have yet to wake up sober and wished I had been drinking the night before.

Thank you to the Sober Recovery community, I could not have become and stayed sober without all of you.