Tom M

I posted my story several months ago on this site,but, I believe it was deleted due to computer problems back then.
Well here goes, I will try to simplify this complicated story:
I was born in Brooklyn, N.Y. on July 19, 1960. My Father was a N.Y.C. Police Officer and My Mother had worked for western union. Both of my parents were alcoholics with problems. In know way will I blame my parents for what happened to me with alcohol, but, by doing step 4 with all of you, I realize that I'm not at fault for most of what happened in my life.
My younger brother was born 5 years later(who I absolutely adored).
My problems began surfacing right around that time. I was a bedwetter, I did poorly in school, I was a shy kid with a very low self esteem and I was small for my age. Yes I had a complex for sure!
A couple of years later my parents would get seperated(I was about 8).
I had a lot of responsibility put on me at that time . I had the keys to my house and I would watch my younger brother while my Mother was at work.
My marks were still bad in school and I was still wetting the bed.
My younger brother(5 years my junior) starts school and does well from the very start, I, however, continue to do poorly. Yet I never seem to be a dumb kid.
A few years later in 1973 a couple of days before Christmas, my younger brother now 8 years old tells me there is something wrong with Mommy.
I see that my mother is passed out and apparently she had been drinking and taking tranquilizers. I make all kinds of phone calls and finally get a hold of my Father.
My Father tells me a couple of days later that my Mother is gone. Although I was only 13 at the time, I had to become a man and I felt the need to look out for my younger brother ever since. This story gets worse though.
There is a big family feud as to who will take custody of my brother and me, I make the decision to stay with our father. Again more responsibilty is set on me and my marks are still bad in school.
My younger brother continues to do well in school and he idolizes me.
My best recognition at that time is being a good fighter(although I am small, I am able to beat guys twice my size).
A couple of months later I would get drunk and be taken home by the cops( I wasn't quite 14 yet). My Father was a cop and very strict, but, I still did pretty much what I wanted to do. My drinking and smoking cigarrettes began and I even smoked pot here and there.
From the very beginning I was a violent and nasty drunk getting into fights and blacking out.
I wound up getting left back my first 2 years of high school, because I was too busy partying with my friends to go to class.
At the age of 16 although I am still drinking regularly on the weekends, I decide to get my act together and I go to summer school and take extra classes to get skipped up to my proper grade and actually graduate a head of time. I realize now that I am not only smart, but, above avarage with an IQ of 135.
1978 I go into the Airforce as a security police officer, but,my alcohol problems continue and I am getting into fights. My Father is now very sick and my younger brother is still doing very well in school,but, is developing other problems.
1980 I get an honorable discharge and go back to brooklyn to stay with my Father and my brother. My father is now retired from the NYPD but is afflicted with all kinds of ailments. Against Doctors orders he continues to drink and smoke and the out look isn't good. I quit smoking cigarrettes to get my father to quit, but, it is all for nil. I haven't smoked since though.
1982 I have a good job in the computer field working at night and I am doing well, but, my alcohol is still a problem and I am still getting into fights.
I decide to take up boxing and train for NYC golden gloves. I wind up having 3 fights in the 132lb class and I win them all by first round knockout. I am actually favored to win my division for 2 reasons, I am a southpaw and I have a powerful punch.
1984 I find out my younger brother has mental health problems and needs to be treated for anxiety and depression, meanwhile my Father is dying and I am living separate from both of them. I quit the boxing, but, my drinking continues and now when I get into fights I do damage and I blackout.
I am promoted on my job to Computer Prgrammer/Analyst and my career path looks good. I am monitoring and helping my brother and father any way I can.
1986 I get married to my pregnant wife. My wife is a bad alcoholic and our marriage lasts another year and a half.
1988 My daughter turns 1 year, I get divorced. I lose my younger brother in a tragedy in staten island(he is found drowned in March).
6 months later my father passes away in his sleep.
1989 I am almost killed in a car accident being hit as a pedestrian, but, I recover well.
1990 I admit myself into the brooklyn va for a long term rehab, but, relapse soon after the program is over. I move to staten island.
1994 A mugger trys to rob me coming out of an after hours and gun shots are fired, but, amazingly I come out of this alright.
1995 I move out to Florida with a girl I met out there(my daughter and my ex-wife also live out there). Doesn't work out and I get my self in all kinds of trouble with a DUI.
1997 I come back to staten island.
2000 My girlfriend dies from drugs and alcohol.
2001 My computer contract ends and I have trouble getting work as a result of the WTC disaster.
12/06/02 Pending an eviction from my apartment, I admit myself into detox in the va. I sign myself out 2 weeks later, but, I have been sober ever since with the support of AA an all of you.
I knew I had hit my bottom. enough was enough!
It took me a long time to arrive here, but, I have in fact arrived and I plan to stay one day at a time.
Thanks.