My Story/ Redmayne
Becoming my true self...
Before posting this thread I will say my drinking history lasted about 30 years, followed by a prolonged recovery of well over 7 years.
The salient points of all that make up this thread, first of all my recovery was firmly based in the suggested 12 Step program of recovery in a full understanding of the provisions of the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous'. Particularly in the chapters,'The Doctor's Opinion', Chapter 3, 'More about alcoholism' with particular reference to the term 'real alcoholic' and the explanation that follows together with Chapter 5,'How it works' again with particular reference to the words,'thoroughly follow are path.'
Which lead to, on the night of the 14/15th Feb., 2008 my having a 'psychic or spiritual experience' to the extent that whilst still suffering from the disease/illness of alcoholism, I was relied of my desire to drink alcohol.
In the weeks that followed I determined to find and be my true self, someone I had never known in my delusional drinking days.
Amongst this, I turned to the principles and practice of Buddhist philosophy, being particularly struck by the chapter titled,'Die while alive' in Soko Morinaga's book,'Novice to Master'. Which highlights Shido Bonan Zenji's verse of the same name, see my post ,'An interesting guy' on the 'What is recovery?' forum, for a full explanation. Which for me epitomises both Zen philosophy but all the elements of recovery.
I then turned my attention to Stoic philosophy, particularly in Philip Usher's book and website,'Stoicism Today : Selected Writings' particularly being drawn to that, as I'd learned in Buddhism, that we all, at any one point in our lives, exist in the state of our minds. Wherein dwells,'the citadel of our soul'. It was this last phrase that took me to a newer more exciting plane, within myself.
A bit like,'Jonathan Livingston Seagull' in the book of the same name by Richard Bach, a character I was once identified with.
Which in my case includes my belief, in the God of my understanding in terms of the Holy Trinity, said in spiritual and not religious terms. A belief I've adhered to throughout my journey of recovery and always, together with the citadel of my soul, will. For we are now inseparable as a complete entity, immune to external forces or events, within the terms of Stoic philosophy and my beliefs
In this and time spent in recovery, I've found and become the person I always wanted to be, my true self...no one could ask for more.
' It's easy to live a happy life, it's all inside you. In your way of thinking.' - Marcus Aurelius
Last edited by Opivotal; 03-09-2017 at 11:44 AM.
Reason: correct title format