Treerat66

When I was 16 (many moons ago), three AA members came to a youth group I attended. They shared their addiction histories with the group, which at the time was very interesting but 'obviously' wasn't relevant to me

Due to those AA members I spotted what I was doing to myself the second time around after being almost sober for twelve years.

The youngest of those men would be in their seventies if they are still with us. I have noway of thanking them face to face. But to them and anyone else who share to youth groups Thank you.



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I did an apprenticeship with a power engineering company and became an engineering technician working on control systems.
At around the age of 22 I started to work on our customers sites. Working hard and playing hard. Read 'bored in the evenings'. Drinking was the norm. I then got a job at a university and joined in with the drinking culture there before being head hunted back to my original company.
More site work ensued and I think this is where I flipped from being a normal drinker to an alcoholic. Back in Britain I changed where I ate my lunch so that I could drink as well. But I didn't join the dots.

Next was Korea. In Korea. I should have been commissioning a power transmission scheme, carrying power to the island of Jeju. The Koreans were behind schedule and my presence was meant to make them feel bad or something. What I did was sit around for three months doing nothing but drink. Because of the then up and coming football world cup the local police had been told to protect us from the local population and leave us alone what ever we did - havoc.

I feel resentment over my companies use of me but I did the drinking. We did the crazy stuff. If I caused any harm to any Koreans I don't remember it and couldn't make amends.

I travelled on to Canada via San Francisco detoxing on the way (no cash) US immigration didn't like the look of me or smell probably and the guy at Vancouver airport who's job was finding people hotels put me in the 'Lamplighter hotel' a flop house for drunks and addicts. No one batted an eye until I got a haircut and a shave.
I stayed sober for a couple of weeks travelling across to Winnipeg and then started drinking with the construction crew on the refurbishment job we were doing there.
By the time I got home, I can now say I was an alcoholic. I knew then but was avoiding the truth.

My wife was the catalyst for me to become sober. She doesn't drink and distracted me from the booze. She also encouraged me to leave my job. Without trying, most of my triggers had been removed The only one left was drinks with our families all of whom are normal drinkers and only buy small quantities of alcohol. 13 years of enforced moderation followed. After one! lunch time beer I'd be gasping for more and wondering how everybody else didn't want more. Warning bells did sound but I suppressed them.

The last spiral started when I started to volunteer with a charity (no names no pack drill.) once a month. The other volunteers use alcohol to relax, some have drink problems. I joined in and was soon back where I left off. The winter of 2012/13 was the pit of my use but not my rock bottom. I was drinking too much and spending money we couldn't afford. Drinking customs like buying rounds of drinks hide how much you are spending and give you an excuse to have one more. I did an experiment only buying for me and refusing to join rounds. I spent £100 pounds in one night! That told me I needed to get control. The next weekend I vowed I would not drink. My vow lasted about 5 minutes, when someone offered me a bottle of beer I accepted. I didn't drink it. I had such a deep feeling of self loathing (my rock bottom) that I gave it straight back and admitted to the giver that I had a problem with alcohol. Telling a true friend helped me stay sober.

I have been lucky. Those three AA members gave me the knowledge I needed to spot the warning signs. I didn't act soon enough but did act before I lost everything I love.