My Story
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,323
My Story
I took my first drink at age 12 and drank alcoholically for the next 42 years. I graduated from high school, did military service, graduated from college, got married, had 6 children, got divorced, married 2nd wife, got divorced, and stayed married to the 3rd wife thanks to recovery by the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ. I was professionally successful in manufacturing as well as nuclear energy research and power plants and have been retired for 22 years.
In 1986 my 28 year old daughter(D) moved into my house with two daughters age 7 and 3. She had been beat by her husband and thrown out of their house.
I shared my pain with a coworker and he took me to an open AA meeting where I encountered people just like me. I discovered that I was an alcoholic and I stopped drinking on that day, April 6, 1986. I read the big book and others in the first week. I am writing this 27 years later and I still have not slipped by the grace of my higher power who I call God. I stopped using valium immediately and stopped smoking.
I discovered that D was a serious alcoholic and drug addict and she immediately lost custody of both children to their respective Fathers. D remained intoxicated and began to steal from my wife and I and violated the ground rules for living in our house. We made her leave our house and enter rehab. Our family participated in her attempts at recovery and provided support through two separate 30 day rehabs followed by halfway houses in two locations.
On Dec. 31, 1987, D committed suicide using alcohol, drugs, and lithium. She was dead at 30.
I have remained free from mood altering chemicals of any kind. How could I surrender to what killed my Daughter.
The hardest part of recovery for me is dropping the rock of guilt and shame for the 42 years of my alcoholic drinking.
So here I am at age 82 posting on SR still looking for a way to relieve the pain of my disease and the impact it had on my children. The second daughter died in 2011 at age 50. She was addicted to morphine.
My pain is relieved and I feel joy every time one of the lovely Ladies in AA or SR do what my sick Daughters were not able to do. I visited Dr. Bob's house, his grave, and the gate house where he and Bill W. met and felt the spiritual love when I read the sign on the wall, "Welcome Home". I have received the rewards of the program so I will keep coming back every 24 hours til the dirt hits me in the face.
In 1986 my 28 year old daughter(D) moved into my house with two daughters age 7 and 3. She had been beat by her husband and thrown out of their house.
I shared my pain with a coworker and he took me to an open AA meeting where I encountered people just like me. I discovered that I was an alcoholic and I stopped drinking on that day, April 6, 1986. I read the big book and others in the first week. I am writing this 27 years later and I still have not slipped by the grace of my higher power who I call God. I stopped using valium immediately and stopped smoking.
I discovered that D was a serious alcoholic and drug addict and she immediately lost custody of both children to their respective Fathers. D remained intoxicated and began to steal from my wife and I and violated the ground rules for living in our house. We made her leave our house and enter rehab. Our family participated in her attempts at recovery and provided support through two separate 30 day rehabs followed by halfway houses in two locations.
On Dec. 31, 1987, D committed suicide using alcohol, drugs, and lithium. She was dead at 30.
I have remained free from mood altering chemicals of any kind. How could I surrender to what killed my Daughter.
The hardest part of recovery for me is dropping the rock of guilt and shame for the 42 years of my alcoholic drinking.
So here I am at age 82 posting on SR still looking for a way to relieve the pain of my disease and the impact it had on my children. The second daughter died in 2011 at age 50. She was addicted to morphine.
My pain is relieved and I feel joy every time one of the lovely Ladies in AA or SR do what my sick Daughters were not able to do. I visited Dr. Bob's house, his grave, and the gate house where he and Bill W. met and felt the spiritual love when I read the sign on the wall, "Welcome Home". I have received the rewards of the program so I will keep coming back every 24 hours til the dirt hits me in the face.
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