Asylum01 My Story
You Have To Do It For Yourself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 29
Asylum01 My Story
Well I don't think I need say to much about the beginning, I think we can all relate. Started drinking when I was 12 because it let me forget about all the sh*t in my life. Didn't care much for alcohol so at 13 found pot and never looked back.
Fast forward a few decades: I was sitting in my room trying to figure out how to get high when a thought occurred to me. End my life and end my suffering. I felt like someone had taken a tank off my chest. I felt a great relief and happiness. Then another revelation, this was literally the first time in year's I felt happy. I spent the next few year's trying to work up the courage to carry out my plan but I guess I just didn't have the guts.
Then THAT day came. Enough. I don't want to live like this anymore. Either do it or get clean. To this day that suicide thought has never left my mind, it actually help's me when I have cravings. That day, however, I chose to try getting clean. I walked into a local hospital Chemical Dependency Unit. That was a Thursday and I was told I would start on the following Monday but had to stop using by then. THE most difficult weekend of my life.
My first attempt at keeping clean lasted 6 months. The second, 10 month's. In all, from that first day I walked into that clinic to my clean date, 5 year's. That (my clean date) was 8 year's ago. Now in my 50's my medical problem's are mounting faster than a loan sharks vig, but I Thank God every day that I am facing them clean and sober. Without being clean, I would have taken that suicide route.
Only you can decide to get clean and sober. Once you've decided, don't give up! You may not realize it now but some day, hopefully soon, you'll be grateful you didn't. Good Luck
Fast forward a few decades: I was sitting in my room trying to figure out how to get high when a thought occurred to me. End my life and end my suffering. I felt like someone had taken a tank off my chest. I felt a great relief and happiness. Then another revelation, this was literally the first time in year's I felt happy. I spent the next few year's trying to work up the courage to carry out my plan but I guess I just didn't have the guts.
Then THAT day came. Enough. I don't want to live like this anymore. Either do it or get clean. To this day that suicide thought has never left my mind, it actually help's me when I have cravings. That day, however, I chose to try getting clean. I walked into a local hospital Chemical Dependency Unit. That was a Thursday and I was told I would start on the following Monday but had to stop using by then. THE most difficult weekend of my life.
My first attempt at keeping clean lasted 6 months. The second, 10 month's. In all, from that first day I walked into that clinic to my clean date, 5 year's. That (my clean date) was 8 year's ago. Now in my 50's my medical problem's are mounting faster than a loan sharks vig, but I Thank God every day that I am facing them clean and sober. Without being clean, I would have taken that suicide route.
Only you can decide to get clean and sober. Once you've decided, don't give up! You may not realize it now but some day, hopefully soon, you'll be grateful you didn't. Good Luck
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