JimE

My start in recovery began in 1987 when I checked into a treatment center in Costa Mesa, CA. I had begun to have alcoholic seizures when detoxing at home and a friend recommended I check in for a medical, safe detox there. I ended up having a seizure there anyway. I knew nothing about 12 Step programs except that I didn't want to be in one. When I saw that the inpatient program was basically an intro to AA and NA I wasn't thrilled.

My drinking career was one of always going for a buzz. When I drank in high school at parties I always ended up hugging the toilet and felt like sheet the next day. When I turned 21 I pretty much lived in beer bars at night. The hard stuff came a few years later and I did a lot of other drugs too. LSD was my favorite and it allowed me to drink for hours and not feel drunk. Cocaine came later but I didn't really like the way it made me feel but still I wasn't one to turn it down if offered.

I played drums in rock/blues bands so chemicals were usually around. It was drinking that brought me to my knees. In the early 80's I began periodic binges of drinking vodka around the clock. Life became a blur. I met a lady in a bar one night who drank as I did and we soon lived together. I was a happy drunk most of the time as was she. One night she mixed pain pills and vodka and when I came to the next morning she was lying next to me dead. Evidently the combo caused her to go into a coma and she aspirated on her own vomit.

After that my drinking was for oblivion sakes only. I wanted to join her. I drank alone around the clock for a year or so and then the seizures began. I had lost just about everything and everyone. My ex band members tried an intervention but I wouldn't have any of it. End of drunkalog (hopefully)

After getting out of treatment I grudgingly attended meetings and tried staying sober without the 12 Steps. I managed to stay sober a year and then relapsed. In 1990 after several relapes I was ready to go to any lengths, I got a sponsor who I knew would pull my covers when I needed it and began taking the Steps. A whole new world began to open up for me.

The people I met in those meetings helped me so much. I was a bundle of self centered fear, afraid to share in meetings, afraid of my own shadow. Alcohol had been my fear buster for years and taking that away brought all those fears to the forefront, acutely.

I'm grateful for my sponsor, the people I met along the way and for AA itself for saving my life. I met sober musicians and began playing AA and NA functions and even bars and clubs in So. Cal. I had fancied myself a musician who dabbled in drugs and alcohol but I was actually a druggie who dabbled in music before finding AA.

I got involved in AA and held just about every service position there is. I went on H&I panels and spoke at meetings. Quite a change from those first days sober. The people there loved me till I was able to hold my head up and smile again.

Long story, huh? I hope to make a few friends here and maybe even help someone along. Can't keep it 'less ya give it away I learned.