Jay's Story

Old 09-12-2003, 01:00 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
The Jay Walker's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 388
Jay's Story


I like to stay anonymous, so I go by the name Jay Walker, and I am an Alcoholic.

I grew up in southern California, I can remember how i never felt quite right, I always felt like there was something different about me, and everybody could see it but me.

I manged to make it through my school years and never really had more than one or two friends. so I was very nieve when I graduated high school and went out into the world, I found a job at a factory, and took a few night classes at the local college.

I was so messed up inside that I had still never had a girlfriend, not that I didn't want one, I was just scared that I wasn't good enough.

anyway one night at a friends house, I was handed a vodka tonic,
I remember how that first drink felt to this day, first I felt the warmth going down, then I felt myself relax, I had a couple more, and for the first time in my life, everything was OK, actually everything was great, I had confidence, I could laugh and smile, I had found my miracle drug that I would take daily from then on for the next 20 years.

it didn't take long and I was getting into trouble, like minor in possesion of alcohol, and drunk in public, then came the D.U.I.'s

I was sent to A.A. and a drunk driving school. I was also put on antabuse by the courts, to keep me from drinking.

during the antabuse period I tried some drugs, but nothing gave me what alcohol did.

I finished with my required A.A. meetings and graduated the drunk driving school, and went back to drinking right away,
from that point untill I got sober, my life was just a series of embarasing drunken escapades, and ruined relationships. I lost a lot of good jobs, cars etc.
I lost a marriage, and remaried and had two sons.

and sometime during this time, I reached a point were I was drinking because I had to, and it wasn't fun anymore.
I tried to quit a few times through different programs, couselors, churches, shrinks, and stuff, but I never found anybody who really understood were I was coming from

finaly on 5-5-96, I had what hopefully what was to be my last drunk,
I was driving around in a blackout, with a fifth of kesslers, and I came too in a detox center, I thought I was in the hospital agian, ( the last year of my drinking I was admited twice for mixing alcohol and Xanax)
I asked a lady were I was, and she told me I was in detox,
and that I had come in on my own voluntairaly, of course I tried to get out, but was told if I left, I would be going against doctors orders, and would be billed for my stay, while if I stay, then my insurance would cover it.
so I stayed for a week, I didn't get much out of it exept for getting dried up, and I had talked to a man from A.A. that really understood me. the couselores there were ex addicts, and I couldnt identify with them, but this ex drunk from A.A. knew exactly what I was all about,

after getting out of the spin dry, I started going to A.A. meetings daily, after a week or two, I asked a guy to sponsor me, and after talking a while he agreed.

I went with him to meetings and got a home group, it was at a retirement comunity, and those people loved me and were so patient with me, one guy there had 28 years sober.

after a couple years they picked me to be G.S.R. for the group, and I got involved with service work, and also got on a panel at a local hospital.

today I stay active in A.A. , and still have some kind of service comitment at all times, I continue to apply the 12 steps of A.A. in my life, and my life is like nothing I could have ever imagined it could be,
A.A. has been so much more than just stopping drinking, it's been a whole new life
The Jay Walker is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:33 PM.