weasel

I am 34 years old and began my drinking when I was about 19 or 20 years old. I was also a daily pot smoker with about the same time line. My use was limited to weekends and lots of camping trips. Some where along the way, the drugs and booze increased at a sharp rate. By 27 or 28 years old is was all day every day with the booze and pot. I was drinking a fifth and a half or more every single day. The pot was constant as well. I was also into cocaine, and Xtacy, but never really had a problem with that, it was the Vodka, and Jack Daniels.

I kept this up for 4 or 5 years. I also suffered from Migraine headaches and chronic Insomnia. I would sleep at the most, 1-3 hours a day, and that was interrupted sleep. I had been on all of the sleeping pills, and anti depressants the doctors had. At this same time, I wasn’t eating much either, MAYBE a burger here and there, a few times a week .And was dropping weight at a fast rate. I was a wreck! In 1998 I got my first DUII and did the treatment and the other stuff the court MADE me do. I wanted NO part of this non-sense. Then in 2001 I got DUII #2. And again, and did what the court made me do. After this round, I figured that I would control my drinking. Well all know the rest of this sentence. This is where I lost control. I did control it, for a while. I was now self medicating with drugs and alcohol, and whatever anyone had in there medicine cabinet. If it would change my mind state I drank it, smoked it, or ate it. The drugs I did were, cocaine, Xtacy, alcohol, shrooms, and weed, and painkillers. Nothing more than that. I would get up in the morning and drink 8 to 10 shots worth of Vodka, straight out of the freezer, and in a pint glass, all in one drink. Along with this, was several bong hits. This got me up and to work. At lunch time, it was straight home and do the same thing then back to work. In the evening I would hit the liquor store to get more Vodka. I couldn’t make it home without drinking. Once home, I took the lid off of the bottle and it went straight in the trash. I would drink until I passed out, blacked out, or ran out. And I better not run out, now that pissed me off!! I managed to some how keep my job, pay bills, and keep my apartment and all that stuff. At this time I was getting in a lot of car wrecks. About 6 within a 4 or 5 year period. I do auto body work for a living, and became my own best customer.

On 11-14-06 I was going to a friend’s house and never made it there. I remember having a few shots for the road, and getting in my BMW and the next thing I know, BOOM I hit a parked car, oddly enough, another BMW (that’s what I fix) By the grace of god AS I UNDERSTAND HIM no one EVER got hurt my self included. I got my third D.U.I.I.

This night is when my life changed forever. After I got out of jail that night, something came over me, and this is when I had enough of all of this crap. My court date was set over for 5 months. I was scared enough, and knew what I was in for, that I managed to get sober within a month or so and stayed sober till I was sentenced the following June. I had accepted that I was going to jail for a while, and was “ready” to do it. . After talking with my attorney, I was presented with a few options: 1) I could take my case to trial, 2) Take a deal with the D.A. 18 month’s jail and treatment. Or 3) I could plea to enter one of the toughest treatment programs around. Without thinking about it, I went with option #3. That is really not like me, AT ALL!!

This program includes, one night in jail, electronic monitoring with a breathalyzer hooked up to my phone, intensive out patient treatment twice a week, A.A. meetings, MUST keep a job, cant drive ANYTHING with a motor ie: golf carts, bumper cars, forklift nothing. Random U.A.’s a lot of them, and lie detector tests. This probation is for 3 years. I’m in my 2nd year now. No relapses, no missed anything, I’m one of a somewhat few to not mess up. I must say that the last two year have at times very hard. And the best years. Now I’m going to 4 AA meetings a week, treatment every 3 to 4 weeks, some volunteer work, and most importantly COMPLETE HONESTY, in everything I do. If I blow it and get kicked off this program, all charges come back, and I get the max jail, fines and whatnot. I would be looking at 3 years in jail, and $30,000 in fines that were let go when I was put on this program. I have spent around $8,000 plus missed work, in two years. And do it all again!!! And the headaches and insomnia totally went away.


Now what it’s like.

On 4-22-08 my mother passed away at the age of 58 due to a long rare liver disorder (she never drank at all). Then that July I lost my job due to this messed up economy. I was now able to deal with all this pain and sadness in a healthy and sober manner. I called my sponsor the next day for support I love this guy! I called my counselor and went to see him every week, as apposed to once every 3 to 4 weeks. Somehow, I knew what I must do to get not only myself through this, but be strong for my dad and older sister, without them worrying what bonehead dumbass, drunk thing I was out there doing. I can’t take care of them without first taking care of me first. My life is pretty simple, basic, and happy, as long as I’m taking care of my sobriety, and protect it at all costs. Without the proper treatment that I needed, and A.A. I really don’t like to think where I would be. Or wouldn’t be for that matter. Life can be wonderful if you are patient, ready, willing, and honest to do what YOU need to do. Everyone is different, give it time!