boop64132

From a very young age I can remember parties that my parents house,wild drunken parties.
It was never a big deal to see my parents drinking.

When I was old enough,I began to drink myself.Hubby and I would drink together...but he would stop,and I would continue until the point of passing out.
It became an every night thing for me.And if we didn't have the money,hubby would borrow it from his mom,to keep me happy.This went on for years and years.

I stopped for 5 years after having my youngest daughter,I was so busy with raising my 4 kids,I really didn't think about it.
I worked and took care of my kids and did just fine.
When my daughter was 6 years old my Dad passed away (I was very close to him)I felt so heart broken,and betrayed by God for taking him away.

I started to drink again.But it was worse this time.I spent endless nights drinking and listening to music and crying because I missed Dad so much.
I began to forget little things that I said or did.
It began to weigh heavy on my marriage,and it caused a split with hubby and myself.

The parties started,and the men came and went...and the forgetting became more and more frequent.
I started forgetting everything that happened.

Hubby and I were in and out back and forth.Until we finally split up and I started dating a man that also drank,and smoked crack,so I started smoking with him.We would spend his whole paycheck on the stuff.
He would also become very very mean,and abusive.I spent alot of time in the local emergency room.Once with a concussion,and once with stitches above my eye,and once he even knocked my front teeth out by punching me in the mouth,and knocking me over a king size water bed.After I got the bleeding to stop,he talked me into not going to the hospital by buying me a rock to smoke,so I stayed....and I smoked,and smoked.With no front teeth.

The years went by and back and forth with hubby and kids.
Finally one day my husband told me he had had enough.He wasn't going to rescue me anymore from this man.
It didn't take me much thinking to give it all up and go back to my family.I had enough of the abuse.
So I went back.But the drinking did not stop.I drank harder and went through 2 DWI's and court,and ended up spending 30 days in jail.Promising myself and my family I would never drink again.....but I did.

One night hubby and I went out to a bar to drink together,and I ended up leaving with another man,and 22 year old man.
When my fun was over and I decided to go home,hubby had once agian had enough and locked me out of the house.
I went drunk crazy and he ended up calling the police on me.
When they showed up I was so drunk I fought them and ran away twice to the back yard.I tried bitting them so the put a hood over my head and shackles on my feet,they put me into a police paddy wagon and off I went to jail.On the way to jail,I started having a panic attack so they took me to the ER close to the police station.They released me into the hospitals care until I got treatment and sobered up.
Well,when I did I was forced to walk all the way home that was around 15 miles.Still half drunk and very very scared!!
That was 4 years ago.
By the grace of God...I am still sober and I am still with my husband of 25 years this December.
Sometimes I wonder why he stayed with me for so long,but I am so thankful that he didn't give up on me.

I thank God for him everyday.And I thank God for my sobriety.:praying