akimmel1302

Corrected During the first couple years of my life that i can recall, i always felt like i was different from most people. I had many odd tendencies and things just werent the same when i was around. I noticed that i felt alone almost everywhere i went and was always in my head. I was the type of person that could be in a crowd of 20,000 people i know and still be isolated.
In Middle school things were not much different. I began trying to portray someone that was not me; trying to dress a certain way, act a certain way, just so that people will not notice the "real me." I never really thought i hung around the wrong people...i always looked at myself as the wrong person who the right people were hanging around with. On the the next 4 years i slowly whirled down into a depressed, isolated kid with a low-self esteem and who would do anything for acceptance. During the summer after my freshman year i was at youth group with my best friend (well call him Matt). Well Matt came in a little different and i realized, after him telling me, that he was drunk. That was when i made the decision that completely changed my life into what i am today. I made the decision that i was going to get drunk at all costs, that my next goal in life was to get wasted, just like my friend Matt. It didnt take long before i did that and when "it" hit me, i fell in love. This feeling of happiness, of liberty. it drew me out of myself and for once i didnt have to think of lifes problems...i no longer lived "life on life's terms." i was free and i was going to do whatever i wanted. I shortly after that began to use pot and fell into a cockatil of drugs. I would do whatever i could get my hands on...coacine, cough syrup, pills, alcohol, marijuana...whatever it was i needed it to numb the pain and help me forget the problems i was having....everything in my life crumbled....School, Work, Family, Friends, and most of all myself. i was beaten up for sellnig drugs a couple times.. i had an uncontrollable temper...i never knew where i was and the weeks seemed to fly by with no recollection of where i had been or where i currently was.Then came the brakes...the screeching halt.
I went to Cincinnati with my parents for a "drug test" and i ended up in an assesment for a long-term in house drug treatment center for adolescents named Kids Helping Kids. I went through slowly and didnt do well for awhile but soon learned my way through. I graduated a year later on August 10th 2007, a year and 2 days after i entered. This was about 3 months ago....i am living sober, i have great friends in AA, i work the steps daily and try to continue to live one day at a time...i will always remember though what life was like back then because it is not how i feel now that i am sober, it is how i felt then.

-kimmel