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Study guide questions --my answers

Old 12-30-2014, 09:04 AM
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Study guide questions --my answers

What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
God, plain and simple. I have always had God in my life, but my relationship with him is weak and rarely do I follow the path I should
What would it take to allow my concept of my Higher Power to change?
It would take me communicating more with God to learn to give up the control that I hang on to and to give it all to him so that he can show me His will for me and I am able to draw strength from him being in control
Have past experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
I've always had God in my life, but the older I got the further away from him I got because I felt like I was the only the looking out for me and that if I needed something in my life (peace, strength, courage,etc) that I would need to provide that for myself.
What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
I hope to gain a closer relationship with God and allow him to work more in my life. I hope walk the path that he WANTS me to walk and to quit ignoring Him so much when He is telling to something.
Do I sense spiritual guidance in my life? How?
God has always been my spiritual guidance. I just don't listen that often and always put Him on the back burner.
How do I describe the Higher Power I found in Al-Anon?
God of the Universe. Amazing amounts of vast energy that have no end. God- the master scientist, chemist, physicist. The master healer and Lord of my life.
What does “Let Go and Let God” mean to me?
Give up the control and let God have it. Everyday I need to let go and let God. In tough situations where I am so frustrated, I need to take a deep breath, let go and let God. In all things I feel God should be running the show.
What does faith mean to me?
This is a hard one for me. Faith is unseen. Faith is KNOWING beyond a shadow of a doubt that something you don't necessarily have proof for, or absolute facts, or whatever DOES exist and WILL come through for you. Faith is believing without seeing. Faith is obeying without knowing why. Faith is following and not knowing where He is taking you. Faith is giving up ALL control.
With whom and in what circumstances am I comfortable discussing my spiritual experiences?
My therapist is very good about engaging in spiritual experiences. My AH also enjoys talking about them and I enjoy sharing them with him. My children also like to hear about my relationship with God
What might I gain from believing I could be supported and loved by a Power greater than myself?
I feel I would gain everything by believing that. The abuse of my childhood and young adult life have made it very hard to get rid of the tape constantly playing in my mind that I AM all the horrible names they have called me. It would be so empowering to ACTUALLY really believe that God is here to support me and that he loves me unconditionally.
What does “came to believe” mean to me?
It means that I didn't ALWAYS believe it. I believed in God all my life but I wasn't ready to turn all the control over to him. I wasn't ready to pray- "please Lord, take all of me".
What does sanity mean to me?
My happiness, my ability to have some sort of quality of life. Duration of life is one thing, but sanity would make the duration sooo much easier to bear and I would love to enjoy the journey as well, not just endure it
How has the alcoholic situation affected my sanity? My life?
AH has really brought my self-esteem way down to an all time low. I am unable to accomplish things (homework, housework, spend time on myself) because he of his drinking. Drinking consumes our entire house. More arguments, more verbal abuse, more jealousy, more egg shells. Rollercoaster
Have I allowed the alcoholic situation to become my Higher Power? How?
I've been letting go and letting AH. Instead of let go and let God. I just worked my life around AH behavior and attitudes. In fact he pitched such a fit on finals week that I didn't study I like I should have and wound up with a horrible grade on my final. I let AH have control of everything from my feelings, to my schooling.
How has my thinking become distorted trying to handle the alcoholic behavior?
My thinking has become so distorted that I actually find myself trying to change who I am to make him happy and even when I do change that aspect of me, he doesn't acknowledge that I have and then just attacks me anyway. My thinking has become defensive towards others about AH behavior. Making a lot of excuses for him, ( his past, his childhood etc)
How have I turned to a Power greater than myself in times of great need? Did I call another Al-Anon member? My sponsor? Did I read Al Anon Conference Approved Literature (CAL)? Did I go to a meeting? If not, why not?
My meeting have closed down in my town for some reason unknown to me....very upset about this. Will continue working steps in this forum and online meetings until God shows me another way.
In working this Step, can I describe a Step Two experience to my sponsor or my group? In a written sharing?
I can describe one here. I was getting done with therapy and decided that (even though money was really really tight) that I deserved a nice cup of coffee (expensive coffee). So I went to the coffee shop and this lady made my coffee and actually brought it around the counter and over to the corner where I was standing. She said "God told me I needed to tell you something." I didn't say anything. "Your having a lot of family problems right now aren't you?" she asked. "Yes, yes I am," I replied. "God wants you to know that He is with you and He is going to restore and redeem your family. He just wants you to trust him"........wow! What a message that was to me. I left in tears. It was pretty intense.
When have I done the same things over and over, yet expected different results?almost my whole life!
_________
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Old 12-30-2014, 09:52 AM
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Dear God:

Accept me for who I am. Give me the courage to let you in and let you take control of my life. I accept that I have no control over my unmanageable life and that only You have the power to help me overcome and change my path. I want to give it all to you. Please remind me to give it all to you, because sometimes I forget.
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