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Chapter One: Bill's Story

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Old 01-25-2008, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted by bonsai12 View Post
This is a Book that I can buy at Amazon we are talking about, I didn’t get it. I'm currently reading one I downloaded off the internet but after reading the info below I might pick this up, thanks again. Is the Book approved by World Services my info was limited and is there contact information?

The Annotated AA Handbook : A Companion to the Big Book (Paperback)

Got a question about AA's Big Book - Alcoholics Anonymous? Want some real insights into the history of the organization and people who created the 12 Steps? Wonder if there's anything about sex in the Big Book? Do you sense that something you've heard at a meeting might not be accurate, but you don't know where to find it? You need this book!

Frank D. has created an incredible reference resource to the Big Book. He's done it by going through the first 164 pages of the 3rd edition one-by-one, including the stories that appeared in the 1st edition, and making notes about every conceivable subject. He's indexed the Big Book, his notes and created cross references so you have a variety of ways to find what you're looking for. Since the Big Book is reprinted here, (and every sentence numbered) you've got everything you need in one hefty volume.

For example, the index has 14 entries under the word, RECOVERED. The entry, directions are given showing how we... sends us to note 29:1 of the Handbook where Frank points out that there really are some 'musts,' and in margin notes beside the Big Book text leads us to several more uses of RECOVERED. As if that weren't enough, the index entry also refers us to page 61 of the Big Book, in case we want to double check his work or just know where to find the quote.
Yes, it has been a very useful book in my recovery. I am someone who needs to hear the same thing put several ways sometimes before I get it. I am still quite hard headed. That is one reason I am posting these threads. I am hoping as I am typing this in I will learn more and remember more. So far it has been working. I am not sure if it is approved or not.
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Old 01-25-2008, 01:18 PM
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Well now it all makes sense. I just called world services and this isn’t approved AA material. Now it all makes sense to me I was wondering why all the emphasis on Bills Story, just another rouge AA writing a book and getting $48 a wack for it on Amazon. Post away, if I don’t have to pay for this and I can get it for free from you this is fantastic.
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Old 01-25-2008, 01:18 PM
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10:1-3, 4-7, 8, 9-17, 18-20

1-3
I was shocked, but interested. Certainly I was interested. I had to be, for I was hopeless.
For many of us the willingness to begin this program was produced by our realization of the hopelessness of our situation. We had nowhere else to turn. The program was presented to us by people for whom it had worked. Nothing else has worked for us so we grab hold of these principles as we do for life itself.

4-7
He talked for hours. Childhood memories rose before me. I could almost hear the sound of the preacher's voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed; my grandfather's good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preacher's right to tell him how he must listen; his fearlessness as he spoke of these things just before he died; these recollections welled up from the past. They made me swallow hard.
We may have already made our judgment of religion and spirituality. Talk of spiritual matters may arouse these prejudices in us. How important are our preconcieved notions of religion when we are faced with alcoholic destruction?

8
That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedral came back again.
Most of us can remember times where we were able to draw comfort and strength by calling upon God. Perhaps we can recall times of awe over the vastness and beauty of creation.

9-17
I had always believed in a power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation. But that was as far as I had gone.
We may have developed a conception of God. We may have rejected the God idea altogether. Are we atheists who deny the existence of God? Are we agnostic and have no direct experience with God working in our lives? What do we think? What do we know?

DEFINITION:
10:12----Originated in a cipher: originated out of nothing

18-20
With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.
Prejudice and close-mindedness are our most substantial barriers to developing our experience with a Power greater than ourselves. When we become irritated and our minds snap shut at the mention of spiritual concepts we are condemning ourselves to ignorance and quite possibly an alcoholic death.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
By Frank D.
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Old 01-25-2008, 01:40 PM
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11:1, 3, 4-7, 8-11, 14-23

1
To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely folowed by those who claimed Him.
Our judgments of other people's religious practice do nothing to advance our own. Perhaps they are doing the best they can to live a spiritually-based life. We strive for spiritual progress to imprve our own behavior as best we can.

3
For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.
We all wish to be moral and upright as long as it does not inconvience us or interfere with our pursuit of satisfaction. How has picking and choosing which moral principles we are willing to follow worked for us so far? How has obstinately refusing to follow time-honored principles served us?

4-7
The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious disputes had facilitated, made me sic. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good. Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me.
The authors do not ask us to join any religion, they suggest that we may awaken spiritually through our own direct experience. All we need to do is quit debating the existence of God and seek to establish contact with God, as we understand God.

8-11
But my friend sat before me, and he made the pointblank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lcok him up.
The authors make similar declarations that God has enabled them to escape the seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body that is alcoholism. Attendance at any AA meeting will provide similiar testimony. Perhaps you know of someone who has found release from alcoholism through the application of spiritual principles.

Bill's friend describes how he was seemingly hopeless prior to adopting this way of life. Human resources had failed to help him stop drinking. His own willpower and the help of physicians had been so ineffective that he came near to being committed for alcoholic insanity. His admission of powerlessness persuaded him to look outside of human aid for help. He plainly states that he received the help he needed.

14-23
Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute; and this was none at all.

That floored me. It began to look as though religious people were right after all. Here was something at work in a human heart which had done the impossible. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised right then. Never mind the musty past; here sat a miracle directly across the kitchen table. He shouted great tidings.
The seeming hopelessness of alcoholism has been recognized for thousands of years. Prior to the advent of AA most of those afflicted with alcoholism lost their minds or dies. For over 60 years, millions of alcoholics have found relief through the application of the spiritual principles described in this book. This vast amount of experience is one very good reason for us to stop arguing and explore for ourselves this new way of life.

What is required to overcome alcoholism is more than just a moderation of outward behaviors, but a total reorganization of the character of the alcoholic. Doctor Silkworth called it an entire psychic change (xxvii:2). Doctor Jung and AA call it a spiritual experience (25:8-10, 27:9-12, 60:1, Appendix II).


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
By Frank D.
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Old 01-25-2008, 02:03 PM
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12:3-8, 9-10, 11-13, 14-17, 18-19, 22-23, 24-27

3-8
Despite the living examples of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn't like the idea. I could not go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind, or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the though of a Czar of the Heavens however loving His sway might be. I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way.
The authors capitalize all conceptions of God used throughout the book. Perhaps if we are not comfortable with the word God we can substitute one of the other conceptions found in this book or choose one of our own. We must try to be open minded lest prejudice and misunderstanding block us off from the Power we need so badly. Intolerance of or belligerence towards spiritual principles are the only things that can defeat us in our quest.

9-10
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"
This concept addresses all prejudices we may have. We may choose our own conception of God. We need not argue any more. What other people believe and what other people do does not matter at all. This removes the barrier to our own spiritual awakening that Bill describes as an "icey intellectual mountain." We many proceed from our own starting point without carrying the baggage of our past experience or other people's religions. We can start fresh and establish our own relationship with this Power.

11-13
That statement his me hard. It melted the icey intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
The melting of our own "icy intellectual mountains" allows us to move away from an intellectual conception of our Higher Power to direct conscious contact with this Power. The authors are not asking "blind faith" of us. They are not saying "believe this and you will be alright." They are merely asking us to try this new way of living, which begins with a willingness to look in a spiritual direction and see for ourselves if it works or not.

An intellectual understanding of spiritual matters does not equal the vital spiritual experience we require to overcome alcoholism. Our very best thinking got us where we are now. We seek direct personal experience with our Higher Power through working the twelve steps.

14-17
It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my begining. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend.
Bill relates how he took his second step. All that is required is a willingness to believe and that we voluntarily look for help in a spiritual direction. We can begin to build form this foundation which is a solid foundation of willingness rather than the shifting sands of self-will.

This Power is available to all who seek it (46:12-15), not just churchgoers, mystics, or gurus. To access this Power requires no special knowledge, talents, or abilities. All that is required to make a beginning is willingness.

18-19
Would I have it? Of course I would!
If we have admitted to ourselves that we are powerless over alcohol---that our lives are unmanageable, where else do we have to turn? Resolving not to drink anymore is an attempt to exercise a power that we admitted we do not have.

22-23
Scales of pride an prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.
We pridefully believe that we are able to live without the help of a Power greater than ourselves. Our pre-judgments of spiritual matters cloud our perception of the world. When we recognize pride and prejudice as blocking our recovery, we are willing to set them aside.

24-27
The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me---and He came. But soon the sense of His Presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself.
We build upon our own individual spiritual experience. Worldly distractions may overwhelm any single expereience, but through working the twelve steps we develop a substantial base of experience upon which wew can draw when faced with doubt or indecision.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
by Frank D.
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Old 01-25-2008, 02:39 PM
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Thanks Nandm...I enjoy reading stuff like this.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:52 PM
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Thank you for thaking the time to post theese threads. My own BB study group is currently in chapter one, and this helps me immensely.

A

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Old 01-25-2008, 11:50 PM
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13:3, 21, and 13:5- 14:8,

3
At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time.
Withdrawal from alcoholic addiction is hazardous and medical attention should be sought.

HISTORICAL NOTE:
13:9---on December 11, 1934, Bill was 39 years old.

21
My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems.
The twelve steps are each an element in this new way of life. We study and practice the steps so that we may apply them with increasing skill in every area of our lives.

13:5-14:8
There I humbly offered myself to God, as I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since.

My school mate visited me, and I fully aquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to right all such matters to the utmost of my ability.

I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure.

My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements.

Simply, but not easy, a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Lights who presides over us all. These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never known. there was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impace on me was sudden and profound.
Bill learned of the physical component of alcoholism from Dr. Silkworth. He knew that when he drank he was unable to stop. All medical science could suggest to him was entire abstinece that it was impossible for him to remain abstinent, Bill felt that he was hopelss. Bill was presented with the solution to his alcoholism by Ebby T., an old school friend. Ebby showed Bill a program of action used by the Oxford Group. Bill describes the ideas and attitudes he adopted and the techniques he began to practice. The result was a deep and effective spiritual expereince allowing Bill access to a Power sufficient to overcome his alcoholism.


Source:
The Annodated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
By Frank D.
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Old 01-26-2008, 12:08 AM
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14:1, 2-3, 4, 16-18, 19, 20, 21, and 14:23 to 15:3

1
Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.
Something that is simple has few parts. Our recovery requires we take but twelve steps. Just to the extent that we resist accepting these ideas and taking these actions are these steps difficult.

2-3
It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Lights who presides over us all.
The price we pay is that thing which we hold most dear---our self-will. No longer can we center our lives, thoughts and actions on the selfish fulfillment of our desires. With God at the center of our lives we find freedom, happiness, and serenity.

4
These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric.
The steps propose a fundamental change in the way we live our lives and relate to the world They require a complete abandonment of turning away from the ideas and attitudes that have caused us to fail in life. They do not call for a minor modification of our behavior, but for the adoption of an entirely new way of life. If we are hesitant about embracing this new way of life, we can ask ourselves how the way we are living now is working for us.

16-18
While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.
Bill wanted to share the wonderful release he had experienced with other sufferers. His simple altruistic idea has grown into what AA is today.

19
My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstratin these principles in all my affairs.
Putting these principles into practice in all areas of our lives is what enables these theories and techniques to result in permanent recovery. Attempting to present this solution to others brings it to life in our own lives. The vast experience of AA members is that intensive work with other alcoholics will work better to keep us sober than anything else we can do (89:1).

20
Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me.
Attempting to carry this message to other alcoholics infuses our lives with a new purpose and direction replacing our slothful indifference to our responsiblities to God and other people.

21
Faith without works was dead, he said.
Faith without works is dead. If we do not act on our faith, it will not survive. We will be distracted by the wordly clamors and lose contact with God. Following God's guidance keeps our faith fresh, vital, and alive.

14:23-15:3
For is an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.
The absolute necessity of working with others, the rewards of continued recovery, and an enhanced spiritual life are explained here. This is a matter of life and death for the alcoholic, not just the receiver of the message, but for the messenger as well. It is an old AA slogan that you have to give it away to keep it. many more experience members take newer members on twelve step calls to help them find purpose and meaning for their lives in doing this work.


Source;
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
by Frank D.
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Old 01-26-2008, 12:31 AM
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15:4, 6-11, 12, 13, 14-18, 19, and 16:4-12

4
My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their own problems.
Abandoning ourselves to this work is like abandoning a burning ship to reach the safety of a rescue vessel. We find that working with others is an effective way to overcome self-centerdness.

6-11
I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink. I soon found that when all other measure failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design for living that works in rough going.
Helping others is a successful way to deal with the emotional turmoil of early sobriety. Brooding and withdrawing into ourselves can be fatal. Working with other alcoholics reduces our self-centerdness long enough for our emotions to stabilize. Self-pity and resentment are dangerous for alcoholics. By taking the step we soon learn how to deal successfully with these problems.

12
We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowshhip has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part.
How we begin to feel a part of this fellowship is by attending AA meetings regularly, coming early to help set up, staying late to help clean up, making coffee for the meeting, going out to coffee after the meetings, getting a sponsor, going on twelve step calls and most importantly taking the steps ourselves. The fifth and eighth steps are particularly effective at breaking down the walls of ego that make us feel separate, unique and alone (62:8, 82:4-5, 12 & 12)

13
The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty.
Joy is a feeling of gratefulness and closeness to God that is not dependent on outside circumstance. This is contrasted to happiness and sadness that are caused by external circumstances. Joy stays with us when good things happen and we are happy and also when bad things happen and we are sad.

14-18
I have seen one hundred families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their familis and communities. Business and professional men have regained their standing. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. In one western city and its environs there are eighty of us and our families.
The proof that this way of life works is right before us evidenced by millions of recoveries. As we traveled this path, we will witness God at work in the lives of many people.

At the time Bill wrote his story, one thousand AA members in a single large city was considered a miracle. Now, many cities have over one thousand AA meetings a week, each filled with recovering alcoholics who have found this solution.

19
We meet frequently at our different homes, so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek.
Bill explains that the reason for having AA meetings is for newcomers to find fellowship. The fellowship of others who have found this solution is a wonderful thing to feel a part of.

16:4-12
Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. One poor chap committed suicide in my home. He could not, or would not, see our way of life.

There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seemingly wordliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.

Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now.
The AA way of life is life at its best. It is satisfying, fulfilling, purposeful, happy, joyous, and free. We see all aspects of life in AA and through it all we are given the opportunity to learn and grow in God's love.

HISTORICAL NOTE:
16:5----Bill C., a lawyer, stayed with Bill W. and his wife for nearly a year before committing suicide in 1936.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
by Frank D.
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Old 04-30-2008, 10:40 PM
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Old 11-01-2009, 08:54 AM
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