dsmaxis10

I watched this on Youtube today and I loved it. When he said your trying to get right with God to quit drinking but you have to quit drinking to get right with God it really hit me. I never could really admit I was powerless even though I stayed sober four years before. Why I drank again I thought I must of had power three beers seven years ago turned into thousand and some. He explained it so well I listened to step two and three also great talks as well. Day three for me I went to my first meeting in about six months. When the leader of the table an old timer said when I was new. Now he knows I'm not new to meetings he's seen me around the last twelve years but what I realize why the old timers say that you have to have a new way of thinking. I've done a lot of step work but I'm not gonna lie I don't remember much I'm a good reader fast but clouded with brain fog from drinking I made about four mistakes reading a paragraph out of the pamphlet step ten. And I'll be honest getting a week seems like a impossible task which I shared he said it really is a day at a time that sunk in for the first time in a long time. So I'll go to another meeting tonight why two meetings in a day well I figure if I go to a 7:00 am meeting I'll start my thinking out right and I drink mostly at night alone. I have never been more isolated then I have been now in my life .I wouldn't go to a bar or go out with old friends to drink maybe four times in seven years that's it.I'm powerless my life is unmanageable all the prayer and faith in God got me nowhere quitting drinking. It's like I'd fight the bottle the sling shot effect Bob D talks about I'd be like I'm really quitting drinking get ten days and drink more then I was drinking before. That's something else Father Martin talked about I'm losing the fight every time get out of the ring. Day three it will be the longest I had in months going it alone I'm not gonna win in single handed combat I need a Army and I can hire one for a 1$ and an hour of my time. Thanks