CodeJob's God Box
 

Step 7 – Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings

Checking in today. I finally made my God Box, made slips of paper of my faults, and plan to reflect on them one by one.

The God Box has another purpose. I plan to pop a slip of paper in there for anyone who asks me to pray for them, as a mechanism to release things I worry about by physically putting it in my God Box, and people who I decide to pray for. I will probably use a different color paper for those while I am working on Step 7.

I had wanted to be ready to make an amends to RAH by Xmas. My class and running has chewed up a fair amount of free time this fall. I will have to meditate about letting this timeline go and letting this process move as I am ready.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-6-a.html

So first slip of paper = hypersensitive. Being sensitive is one thing, but I am truly hypersensitive. I've done a little better and indeed I'd be most happy to have my HP toughen my skin a bit. Usually I see my behavior improving first at work, then at home. This is true.

Second slip of paper = insecure. Oh we are starting off with a bang. I still have some insecurities so I'm going to put these in mind while meditating.

Maybe these are like a compost box?

Turning Garbage to Good.

Hope that is YOUR outcome, CJ.

Maybe that is old Joe's trick -- "They Meant it For Evil. God Turned it For Good."

Garbage? ah Hammer, here you go again hinting that my insides are somehow negative or bad. But many of my bad shortcomings are good but taken too far. Many of my shortcomings have to do with not accepting my intrinsic self worth.

Despite these issues, I've worked hard, kept a pretty tight dance card, and have had a lot of blessings in my life. I do not see myself as garbage - even my shortcomings.

I just am willingly on the path. I pull the slips out, meditate and live each day. My HP decides what is going to get reined in, let go or acknowledged. Spiritually I'm where I am supposed to be.

hahahahaha ahhhhh.

Naw. That was just all the better sense that *WE* had to use for the thing.

Yunno what they say -- "we see the world as WE are -- not as it is." :)

Our God Box was the dump for Mrs. Hammer's Lies after Rehab. But they did seem to compost and compose into larger and larger ones. :)

Oh, I am betting you are on Santa Claus' Nice List.

For me -- you are an Angel on the Christmas (or is that Happy Holiday :) ) Tree.


Yep. EVERYTHING is right where it should be right now.

The Alananny Angels have still never lied to me.

So I've got several slips of paper out that are biggies that I'm praying about. As in I'm not sure what my life would be like if I didn't have these hang ups or beliefs. So I haven't really tossed them as I know they are still issues. They are accumulating under the tin...

I keep reminding myself that I don't have to do anything but humbly ask my HP to remove them.

I got unglued at work yesterday and almost cried. But I recognized I was stressed and overtired. I recognized audits and perfectionism are not my happy place. I let go and even managed to set myself up for today to be effective and just report all of the errors. It is not up to me what the auditors think. It isn't up to me to shut the project down. And if they do, it really won't entirely rest on my shoulders. I just do the best I can.

12.11.14 - Still working through my slips. A few I've tossed. Today was 'Radiate Light: be vulnerable, be emotionally honest.' I've worked really hard on this one this year and I think it is evident.

I got a note from a classmate how emotionally honest my poems were last week. I've never gotten such a comment from a classmate EVER. I'm living my truth daily and clearly I'm writing it too.

Secondly my RAH gave me a card last night. It was different than his usual selection. It writes about letting in the light, welcoming transformation and our spirits then become illuminated. Hmm. It would appear he too is observing change.

Yesterday was a reminder of why HALT should be followed, even the week before Xmas. Maybe ESPECIALLY the week before Xmas.

Had a lovely meeting with my sponsor this evening. Set the tone for a careful and peaceful visit to FOO over the holidays. We will get together to burn my Step 7 slips soon. We also talked about the likelihood that I don't have too many amends. Which in relation to my FOO put me on a calmer place about my imminent trip.

Met with my sponsor tonight. Had a good catch up, then reviewed all of my step 7 slips. Some of them she pointed out I'd already addressed, which was nice to see progress! After a cuppa, we shredded them.

I felt happy and lighter driving home.

Onwards to Step 8!