How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
 

So....

How do you know when it is OK to ask someone to change something they are doing because it causes problems for you? How do you make the distinction between being a controlling person and having something legitimate to request?

From the large things to the small....
1) Drinking/Drugging
3) Spending Habits
4) Communication Issues
5) Personal Hygiene
6) Personal Habits (by this I mean things like using a toothpick in public, or not putting dirty clothes in the hamper, or not putting dirty dishes in the sink or dishwasher--whatever might be a personal habit for someone that just crawls under your skin).

I realize that there are some things that we can never change in someone else and that won't change unless that someone else wants to change. Where do you define the line between just having to 'let it go' or between being able to ask for something to change?

Ha! Good question!

I don't know. A lot of times you have to just listen to your gut and emotions. After you've already done a lot of self-examination.