Stuck on Step 1
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2
Stuck on Step 1
I feel myself stuck on step 1. I don't feel I'm there and I don't know what it looks like for me either.
I've been to a few meetings now and all I really muster the courage and energy to say is how I'm still on step 1.
I realize I'm powerless over alcohol in the sense that I can't fix it and I need to take care of myself. I think it ends right there. I still find myself meddling, trying to control situations, trying to make everyone else happy...and it goes on.
I want to hear your story of how you realized you "were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable".
I've been to a few meetings now and all I really muster the courage and energy to say is how I'm still on step 1.
I realize I'm powerless over alcohol in the sense that I can't fix it and I need to take care of myself. I think it ends right there. I still find myself meddling, trying to control situations, trying to make everyone else happy...and it goes on.
I want to hear your story of how you realized you "were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable".
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
Sorry you feel stuck. ....But are you really?
From the sounds of your reply you accept that you are powerless over alcohol but you still feel you can control it somehow.
It is when you accept that you are powerless and you accept that your control over of it is not working. It is then that you feel something or someone needs to change. Then and only then you will seek the knowledge needed to make a change.
{I am not sure if you are an A or family member of an A But this goes for both as you see our steps are the same as there steps.}
For me step one was already decided when I sought out help from Al-Anon, then Nar-Anon, and also SR. Because nothing I did to fix my AS's was working. I came seeking the answers to fixing them (my addicted son's) I was seeking that magic 3x5 card to tell me what to do. ...Through Nar-Anon and the 12 steps I learned It was me that had to change. It was me that was all I had control of, not my adult AS's. I was trying to help trying to fix what I felt was wrong. When I realized that was for them to do and I needed to work on me. In doing that, working the steps, I became an example for them to follow.
As I worked through the steps I learned I can only control me. I learned that the steps were there for me to be a better person and worked in all walks of my life. I learned that you will not climb this staircase once, but many times constantly keeping you grounded. ( this is my 4th time back at step one in 2 years. )
So don't get stuck on one step, especially step one. It is only accepting the fact you are not in control of another person's life. No mater what you do for them they are going to do what they want. STEP 1 is all about acceptance.
Hope this helps you see through step one a little better so you can move on.
From the sounds of your reply you accept that you are powerless over alcohol but you still feel you can control it somehow.
It is when you accept that you are powerless and you accept that your control over of it is not working. It is then that you feel something or someone needs to change. Then and only then you will seek the knowledge needed to make a change.
{I am not sure if you are an A or family member of an A But this goes for both as you see our steps are the same as there steps.}
For me step one was already decided when I sought out help from Al-Anon, then Nar-Anon, and also SR. Because nothing I did to fix my AS's was working. I came seeking the answers to fixing them (my addicted son's) I was seeking that magic 3x5 card to tell me what to do. ...Through Nar-Anon and the 12 steps I learned It was me that had to change. It was me that was all I had control of, not my adult AS's. I was trying to help trying to fix what I felt was wrong. When I realized that was for them to do and I needed to work on me. In doing that, working the steps, I became an example for them to follow.
As I worked through the steps I learned I can only control me. I learned that the steps were there for me to be a better person and worked in all walks of my life. I learned that you will not climb this staircase once, but many times constantly keeping you grounded. ( this is my 4th time back at step one in 2 years. )
So don't get stuck on one step, especially step one. It is only accepting the fact you are not in control of another person's life. No mater what you do for them they are going to do what they want. STEP 1 is all about acceptance.
Hope this helps you see through step one a little better so you can move on.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2
After reading this and sharing and talking with other people about where I was at, I've realized that I'm at Step 1. I've allowed myself to let go of things and stopped trying to control things, and instead allowing things to happen naturally.
It's a relief to have lifted this weight off and I'm excited about this journey.
It's a relief to have lifted this weight off and I'm excited about this journey.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: The Middle Distance
Posts: 197
When I want to remind myself what powerless feels like I sit on my couch and try to move my coffee table without touching it. Just using willpower and my mind. It's impossible no matter how hard I try and the powerlessness just washes over me.
That's how powerless I am over alcohol, drugs, and other people.
That's how powerless I am over alcohol, drugs, and other people.
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