Question about step 1 Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol. Does this mean that we cant have hope that the other person could change one day? |
Are you talking about being in a relationship? Because if so, you can only change yourself, not others. It took me a very very long time to learn this. I blamed all of my problems on other people and it turned out it was me the entire time, my drinking. |
For me, I can still pray and have hope that the person will change one day. However, from working Step 1, I now realize that it is not up to me to continue to try and change that person. No matter what I do or don't do, I am not the one that has the power to change that person. I can only change myself and my reactions. |
Well said. Also you can always pray for other people. :) You can't change them or force them to change but you can ask God (or whomever your higher power is) to help guide them in their life. |
This is by far the most imporant steps, we have to know and admit to ourselves there is a problem before we will make any changes |
I think we can always have hope that our loved one will find a good path and will be able to be their happiest, healthiest, most perfect self. For me, my hope for others changed as I learned more about my own recovery journey. At first, I wished and hoped for him to change so that I wouldn't continue to live in fear. Later, I hoped for myself - that I wouldn't continue to be afraid and that I would be better so that HE would want to be better. Still later, I realized that I was becoming happier and healthier, and he was still stuck where he was. Now, I am grateful for my own journey and for the person I've become. My hope for him is that he finds peace in his own life, wherever he is. |
Just concentrate on healing yourself hun, then when you're well you might be able to help your partner, way down the line:) |
Originally Posted by Lilmssunshine
(Post 3364679)
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol. Does this mean that we cant have hope that the other person could change one day? Then I finished reading "Under the Influence" which helped me a lot. Then this afternoon, I decided to get into this study group because, while I got the schedule, I haven't gone to a F2F Al-Anon meeting yet. So the first thread I read is yours that is the same question I would have asked. I realize that I am powerless over alcohol. Alcohol is killing my wonderful wife and I can't do a damn thing about it. Talk about powerless. I think it was my hope that she would change some day that was causing me so much grief and sadness. Whether she changes because of something I do or say, or she changes because she decided on her own is beyond my power to do anything about. I'm going to re-read and think a lot about this first step. I admit I am powerless over alcohol but I'm not ready to give up hoping she will change some day. I don't see that as a contradiction yet.....but then, this is the first step and I am committed to the whole journey. |
[QUOTE=CatsPajamas;3370855Now, I am grateful for my own journey and for the person I've become. My hope for him is that he finds peace in his own life, wherever he is.[/QUOTE] That means a lot to me.....thank you. |
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