I'm Starting...Step 1.
 

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ~ that our lives had become unmanageable.

Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior? Yes. It has took me a long time (20 years) to learn this. I believe that I have finally learned this. Growing up my Dad was an alcoholic, now I'm married to one. I never asked my Dad to quit, but I have begged my husband. After 7 years old begging I know this is something he is going to have to do. I can't do it for him. I also can not control his behavior, but I believe there are things I can do to make it better. This is something I need to work on. If I ignore him, it makes him mad. But when I talk to him I get mad.

How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?

Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?

How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?

What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?

How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?

What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else?

How can I let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them?

Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one?

In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people?

In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else’s behavior?

What brought me to Al-Anon? What did I hope to gain at that time? How have my expectations changed?

Who has expressed concern about my behavior? My health? My children? Give examples.

How do I know when my life is unmanageable?

How have I sought approval and affirmation from others?

Do I say “yes” when I want to say “no”? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?

Do I take care of others easily, but find it difficult to care for myself?
How do I feel when life is going smoothly? Do I continually anticipate problems? Do I feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?

How well do I take care of myself?

How do I feel when I am alone?

What is the difference between pity and love?

Am I attracted to alcoholics and other people who seem to need me to fix them? How have I tried to fix them?

Do I trust my own feelings? Do I know what they are?

Stick with it F2D! The steps worked for me. No matter how you go through them, they will change you. The Al-anon program is very healing. I don't know where I would be today without it. Hugs, Magic