my 18 year amend
 

in 1980 after high school i took my 1st drink got very drunk and beat on my best friend who was holding my car keys so i wouldnt drive ... end of frienship

in 1992 i tried to make amends ... he wouldnt see me

in 2000 i heard his father died so that prompted me to try again to make amends ... he wouldnt see me

in 2010 we had our 30 year high school reunion ... i called to see if he would go and try to make amends ... he wouldnt talk to me

so then it was 30 years after my offense and 3 amend tries over 18 years

my sponsor said if i continue with my living amends (helping people around me) we will consider this amend closed

:c023:

You tried your hardest that's for sure :hug:

Sometimes that's all you can do.

im not sure where the program says to keep approaching people about the same amend.
imo, you may want to look at why you did it 3 times.


p.s.

"sorry" was heard by my ex fiancé so many times that it came to appoint when i said it shed said,"yer dam right youre sorry."

Obviously your friend was very hurt back then. I was just wondering, what was the exact object of your amends?

:e136:

Sorry if my question was too difficult. Awry amends sometimes occur when the object is wrong. The victim sometimes senses this, and won't play along.

Who is expected to benefit from this amends?

^I agree with Mike.

I had a sponsor who with making amends, was really into trying and trying and trying..... To me I think that causes the other person harm and misses the whole purpose of amends.

You could maybe write him a brief letter if he won't see you, but honestly ask yourself if receiving a letter from you would cause him more harm since it sounds like he wants to be left alone.

It was suggested to me by my other sponsor to write a certain amends that couldn't be made in a letter, tie it to a balloon, and put it out in the universe to be free of it.

looks like the other guy just don`t want to see you.So,if you run into him somewhere,just stay ready to make those amends.

a couple lines from the BB come to mind

Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit.

There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could.

and an important one,imo

As God's people we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone

I hope your not beating yourself up over this,J. reads to me like something to give to God and let it stay there.