Very odd emotions after starting step 5
 

Hi all,

I started my step 5 with my sponsor yesterday; we spent about 4 & 1/2 hours doing so, got through my major resentments, gained perspective and quite a bit of clarity, etc. Felt extremely peaceful and like quite a weight had been lifted :) However, I woke up this morning and felt extremely strange; almost like I was dying! I knew nothing was wrong with me physically, reassured myself I was OK and managed to get a little more sleep before work. Moved back to feeling peaceful, then on the way back from work, it started again :( Now, there's an immense sense of fear attached to that. I'm getting to a meeting tonight and waiting to hear back from my sponsor-it's *really* unsettling and I can feel the anxiety kicking in!

The logical part of my head tells me part of me *is* dying; the resentments I held onto for so long, much of my "old self". My sponsor has told me numerous times that she felt like she had been reborn after completing step 5, so this whole process possibly makes a little sense (again, logically!). Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? My two housemates have both gone through steps 4 & 5 and I got a bit of an "eh?" response. I need to know i'm not alone!

Xx

Did you complete step 5, then sit for an hour of reflection (step 6) and say a prayer with all the willingness you could? (step 7)

The 7th Step prayer asks for HP to remove our crap. I did it on my knees
every time my head started BSing me. After a few days the serenity became permanent.

Some of the things I asked HP to remove were not removed right away. The message,
after time, dawned on me. HP would do for me what I couldn't do for myself (Remove the
urge to drink). What HP didn't do was remove what I could do myself. That was my job.