HP: God vs AA, and a lightbulb just went on...
 

I've struggled w/ the HP in step 2 for the past few months. Is it God? Is it A.A.? Is it both? I've been waiting for the "burning bush" experience, and waiting, and waiting...

Then it struck me during an AA meeting on Saturday morning, after somebody said something that hit me straight to the heart, and got me thinking...

Now I know.

God is my higher power, and He speaks to me through the voices of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I came to believe.

Zube.

What did they say? Maybe it would be helpful to some of the other ppl reading this thread who are in the same spot you were in! :)

If it's too personal, I'll understand. :)

I have heard it said... God is everything or He is nothing.

Thanx for posting Zube.

Daytrader, it wasn't really what was said, as to the timing of when it was said. It was something to the point of "over the Billions of years of the universe, and the millions of years of life, and the hundreds of thousands of years of mankind, and the tens of thousands of years of alcoholism, I happen to be an alcohoic blessed to be alive during the 70 years of A.A....and kind of guilty to be an alcoholic at the tail end of that 70 years, where meetings are within a short distance of almost any town, big or small, in America. Not like 70, or 65, or 60 years ago, when an alcoholic had to travel to Akron, or, New York, or Cleveland, etc. to be a part of the fellowship"... and he went on...

It was during this that I realized that I had just had the ALMOST identical converstion with my wife the night before.

Timing was everything.

And then I realized that this happens quite often. I'm struggling with a particular issue, and somebody says something around the tables that helps me in resolving that issue, usually before I even bring it up. Or, bring it up verbally at least. I've gone to meetings in the evenings where the voices around the tables spoke directly about what I prayed about that morning. Coincidence?

It was the timing that got me thinking...coincidence or God? I don't believe in coincidence, not to this scale. I do, however, believe that God can speak to me through the voices of others, and those others being the tables of A.A. If I wait for God to show up in full majestic glory, booming voice and burning bush, I might be waiting awhile.

But if I stop playing the waiting game, and just listen...God speaks to me through the voice of A.A.

Zube

Powerful message....thanks for sharing ...:hug:

Zube,thanks for sharing your experience.....powerfull!

This is a hard step for me as I've struggles with faith all of my life.

I've always been an analytical/scientific person. If I can't see it or prove it, I don't usually believe it. That last comment is pretty close to the definition of "faith", an exlanation for what we can't see or prove or have empirical data for.

But, there is overwhelming "evidence" everywhere in my life that a higher power is in control and everytime I try to take those controls I fail miserably.

So, why not? Fear of the unknown perhaps. A desire to be high? I can't come up with anything really good here.

So, why? I've never met anyone, that had what appeared to be a strong connection to their higher power, that didn't seem like the most peaceful, confident healthy person.

The alternative to finding a higher power just doesn't work for me.

Hi FNB3. Glad to see your post. Tried to PM you, but was unable to.

This topic is an issue I also have difficulty with. I was raised by a Catholic mother in an era and town when all the masses were spoken in Latin, nothing was really explained to me, and I understood nothing. I fled the church when I was 18.

I have spent the rest of my life seeking and not finding. Hoping to hear or see God, but hearing and seeing nothing. It's an empty feeling, and I can't force the issue into my perhaps overly analytical brain. My Gods seem to be people like Einstein, Hawking, and other theoretical physicists. Though I certainly do NOT "worship" them.

It would help me immensely if there weren't so many religious extremists out there, from all religions, claiming their path to God is the right path. Like this recent nut who claims he knows when the apocalypse will occur and that only Christians will be "saved." Please. Going by just the numbers, Christianity would not be the most believed religion in the world. I have studied world religions, and they all share commonalities from which I take as perhaps the best of the best.

But God still eludes me. I, too, see the vastness of the Universe, the immensity and complexity and totality of it all, and I really don't think human beings are capable of conceptualizing what all this means. Unless you are a theoretical physicist.

I simply can't go on "blind faith." I am not an atheist, and I really wish I could be a believer.

FT

I heard at a meeting recently that GOD can stand for Good ,Orderly Direction

kellygirl7563....Welcome to our recovery community
I see you are new to sobriety...hope all is well with you and your family...:yup:

Yes...I've heard that too...as well as a group of drunks ..however thats not the way i do AA.
Is that what you are doing?

Confused husband
 

Hi CarolID

I have just completed Step 2- and the relief of accepting my Higher Power and turning to Him is like a weight off my shoulders.

My husband- not an alcoholic ( I think!!):ValB002: is missing his drinking partner.We are together 30 years and have always done everything as a couple so when a invitation yo a wedding in the UK for July arrived ,I said -No way too soon.(It would have been a 48 hour bender ) he went :c004:.Is not impressed by my more relaxed attitude to housework.

Guilt used to make me have the house shining so I couldn't get reprimanded for not doing my duties:gaah ! He is a perfectionist.

As he is very controlling my new found peace of mind has him bewildered as I not nearly so agreeable now that I am not in a fog of alcohol.I have let go of some of my fear including that of displeasing him.I am putting myself first so that in the long run I will be well.As I was a late evening drunk the kids age 10 and 14 missed most of my drinking.


To be truthful the hardest part of sobriety is my husbands lack of understanding and empathy.That is hurtful and is making me resentful.Advice from people who have experienced this type of reaction would be really appreciated.

He is also aggressively atheist and finds my need to pray,mediate and keep my contact with my Higher Power strong through reading as much as I can ridiculous.This too is a source of disagreement


Cheers

KellyGirl

GOD works through people.

The prayers are answered for me were the ones I speak to GOD as I walk to the meeting.

Best wishes to all.

Bob R.