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Struggled but getting closer

Old 04-29-2019, 09:41 PM
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Sick n tired
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Struggled but getting closer

I have struggled with this step for years obviously. Periods were I achieved a good amount of time then periods relapsing. I知 sick of not getting this I mean it is pretty simple. I kept on putting alcohol in my system and my life became unmanageable in various ways. So then I inew this been in Aa for years. But still there was something, not clicking. More research done. Well I知 finally getting it I really really am powerless over it. That won稚 change. Unmanagibility will come after every slip lapse realapse whatever. Fact. I知 eve I知 an alcoholic and I知 powerless over alcohol !! Please god let this be my time
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Old 05-01-2019, 06:45 PM
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Have you worked through all of the steps yet? I had changes once I got through step 7. I also had to surrender and stop fighting the fact that I can not drink alcohol at all.

I wish you well on your sober journey!
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Old 05-12-2019, 02:14 AM
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Have you considered the possibility that one aspect of unmanageability is the inability to manage the decision not to take the first drink? That was the case with me, no defense at certain times, which is exactly why I needed to take all the steps in order to recover.
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Old 05-12-2019, 02:32 AM
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I never understood "working" Step 1. Step 1 came to me like a switch flipping. Waking up in rehab not remembering how I got there was a crystal clear indication that my life had become unmanageable due to alcohol. Medical detox is not something in any way that "normal" drinkers experience. I'd crossed a line, big time, and could no longer ignore the fact that I was an addict.

Within seconds I just GOT it. I didn't want to end up in rehab or detox ever again. The only way to assure this was to never take another sip of alcohol. I realized that once I took a drink, I was powerless over alcohol. HOWEVER, I did have power over alcohol. Don't ever touch it again. Because once I did, the odds were virtually certain that I would drink myself back into rehab, ill health, and possibly death.

I never resolved to stop drinking forever, but once I got Step 1, which occurred in a matter of about a minute, I made that resolve, and I have absolutely no reason to sip a drink, and thousands of reasons not to. So I never WORKED Step 1, I instantly integrated it and changed my life forever, in that moment
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Old 05-12-2019, 04:26 AM
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I don't think I worked step one either. It was more of a realisation that "self reliance had failed utterly". A no brainer in my case. Step one is an identification of the nature and extent of the problem. If I had the power to not drink, then I would not need the rest of the steps, and that would have been great as I did not like the look of them one bit.

But the essence of the first step, as a precursor to buying into the whole program, is the realisation of powerlessness both before and after the fatal first drink.

The big book puts it thus "The utter inability to leave it alone no matter how great the neccessity or the wish".
No matter what else happened, or what I tried, it was as certain as night follows day that I would eventually take the fatal first drink. To get out of that miserable situation was the only reason I was willing to do the things I didn't want to do, namely take the steps.

All subsequent steps contribute to and reinforce step one. I would say that when I got part way into step nine, having taken all previous steps, that was about the time I could claim to have really got step one in the AA sense.

That doesn't mean someone can't define the problem a different way and pursue a different solution. It does mean that I identified closely with the AA description of the alcoholic, and when I applied the AA solution, I recovered.
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Old 05-12-2019, 07:10 AM
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although i had admitted step one early on, i had a different reaction when i accepted it.
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Old 05-13-2019, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
although i had admitted step one early on, i had a different reaction when i accepted it.
Same here. I could "say" a lot of things and half-mean them - but it wasn't until I really believed, "to my innermost self" like the book says, that I'm alcoholic, that I was ready to do much about it.

For the longest time I thought the first step meant I had to admit that there WAS a time where I was powerless over alcohol and because of my drinking my life WAS unmanageable. ........but now that I'm not drinking I have power over alcohol and I absolutely can manage my own life. That "Mike's version" of step 1 didn't work so well. I mean, once I decided I had power over booze and could run my life.......why go any further right? I mean, I get the fist step......so I'm done.

lol.... I remember that making sooooooooooo much sense at the time. Never had I considered what the step really said, what was written about it, or if it was even possible that here and now, with X amount of time under my belt, is it possible that I'm still powerless over alcohol and that my life is still unmanagable...... Nope, my good friend the ego and his buddy false pride had way different plans for me.
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Old 05-18-2019, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
althoughI had admitted step one early on, i had a different reaction when i accepted it.
I made the admission some time before I was able to stop drinking, proving step one, one the face of it, was not enough to keep me sober. In fact it explained my drinking.

I wasn't able to stay stopped until I began taking the action rquired to recover.

My thought is that two things are required. Admission and action. When I put those two things together, I reckon I was getting close to acceptance. The proof was in the action.
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Old 05-18-2019, 06:14 PM
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my unmanageibility came before the drink,after the drink and while I was drinking
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Old 05-18-2019, 07:14 PM
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Once I accepted I couldn't drink - then the real meaning and application of acceptance to anything and everything in life was the work to begin. It stopped being about alcohol and began to be about life and my place in it and what I can't control and so on. And that's how part 2 of step one became possible - manageability ties to acceptance.

How are you doing now eve?
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Old 06-06-2019, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted by eve123 View Post
I have struggled with this step for years obviously. Periods were I achieved a good amount of time then periods relapsing. I知 sick of not getting this I mean it is pretty simple. I kept on putting alcohol in my system and my life became unmanageable in various ways. So then I inew this been in Aa for years. But still there was something, not clicking. More research done. Well I知 finally getting it I really really am powerless over it. That won稚 change. Unmanagibility will come after every slip lapse realapse whatever. Fact. I知 eve I知 an alcoholic and I知 powerless over alcohol !! Please god let this be my time

<3 I will pray for you
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