A year on

Old 04-12-2021, 02:19 AM
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A year on

Hi. It's been a long time since I logged on. This week marks a year since my marriage ended. I've been to hell and back, but it's a year I will never, ever have to go through again. I've rebuilt my little family, helped my child through major mental health issues, moved twice, rebuilt my friendship group, been out and had fun, exercised regularly, lost some weight, and working on sleeping better. Most importantly, I'm remembering who i am - away from the gaslighting and put downs.
I wouldn't go back to AH for any amount of money in the world.
Coparenting is hard and I'm trying to limit how much we have to communicate.
But grief still hits hard sometimes. It mainly hits when I have both of my children, and it is time to say goodbye to one until I see him again. I had a vivid dream last night that has shaken me.
Changing my identity from married to separated, and soon towards divorce has been a challenge.
For anyone out there who is struggling and feels like they are stuck ... just keep moving forward. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other - even if it is only one cm at a time - it is still progress. The real you is on the other side waiting with open arms, knowing you are good enough.
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Old 04-12-2021, 02:22 AM
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BTW I've been happily single ever since - avoiding dating like the plague. LOL. X
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Old 04-12-2021, 05:38 AM
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Hi Wom,

I glad that you being strong and moving forward. I can imagine it is hard to co-parent. Just don't let him get the best of you and whatever he does say that with a giant grain of salt. Keep being strong and take it one day at a time.
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Old 04-12-2021, 06:24 AM
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Great to read your update, thank you for sharing it. Sounds like you have worked really hard to recover and get yourself back.

I love what you say about remembering who you are. Sending you all good wishes.
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Old 04-12-2021, 07:04 AM
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Wombaticus.......in celebration of your fabulous growth and progress, I am dedicating the following song---my favorite inspirational song for women---to you!

Peter Gabriel - Shaking The Tree (Secret World Live HD) - Bing video

helpful hint---you can understand the song better if you look up the full lyrics on youtube.
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Old 04-12-2021, 08:02 AM
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Wom! I'm so glad to hear an update from you! Has it been a year already? Wow! You've crossed my mind several time lately and I've been wondering how you were doing. I always knew you were going to be OK but I'm still so glad to read the strength in your words.

The unknown is always the scariest part of any change, I'm thrilled you are on the other side of that and can encourage others to take the leap. I remember the feeling of getting back in touch with my True Self, it was such a relief. I didn't even realize how much of me was "missing" until those pieces started falling back into place, my goodness what a seemingly magical thing that was.

I'm happy for you , and I'm happy for your children. They aren't babies anymore, this co-parenting thing will be over in just a few years. Hang in there friend, you are doing wonderfully! *hugs*
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Old 04-12-2021, 10:18 AM
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Hi Wombaticus! It really is so great to hear from you and know you are doing so well. It is an interesting transition to "single", I know what you mean. It can also be a lot of fun and I'm so glad to hear you have been out and had fun. Also, so important, starting to work on your group of friends.

What a lot for one year!

Usually, and this is just for me, I dream about things that I don't necessarily bring to the fore during the day, but things that are kind of bothering me. Well I suppose really they are nightmares lol. This just reminds me to look at it and say, ok, where is that coming from and is that even realistic, rather than just some fearful scenario I've dreamed up, you know what I mean. So, I think in that way it can be somewhat helpful.

I hope you will keep posting.


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Old 04-12-2021, 12:30 PM
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Great to hear your update wom. A year really isn't that long ....... You have come a long way ..... Well done
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Old 04-12-2021, 06:35 PM
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Womb, thank you so much for popping in to give us an update! I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how things were going. I know you have been through so much and I am happy to hear that you are getting on the other side of it all. I think it is so great you have shown your kids what strength in the face of adversity looks like. You've done very well!
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Old 04-13-2021, 08:55 PM
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Happy to see your update. If it’s not too presumptuous, may I say I am so proud of you and the huge move you made. I know how hard it was and I am sure still is. But it is great to hear your report and you have wonderful days ahead.
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