Notices

13 days and struggling

Old 11-28-2020, 06:02 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 2
13 days and struggling

I am new here. New to sobriety. New to AA. I have 13 days sober under my belt. I am struggling with not drinking. It started last night. It's 9 am and I plan to go to a 1:00 meeting. I've been going to as many of them as I can. I'm reading everything: Big Book and researching my disease. I'm so familiar with the deceiving ways that alcohol ruins lives. I've watched other family members struggle and destroy their families. I've made a list of things that made me miserable while drinking. I also made a list of the many benefits that make me want to continue staying sober. But, I'm struggling. How do I get past this day? I really want to say that "I've made it two weeks" tomorrow.
Rissa is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 07:06 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 725
Take a look at step 2.

Restore us to sanity. That's because we are insane. We may drink too much and act crazy but thats not the insanity we speak of. The insanity is when we are sober, we know what alcohol does to us yet we want to drink it anyway. That's insanity.

The idea that picking up a drink is a good idea is a delusion. It's not really alcohol we are seeking. Its the ease and comfort, serenity. Alcohol seems such a quick and easy way to feel this ease and comfort. Like with many things the easy way isn't always the best. The net effect of taking a drink is much more trouble, much more additional anxiety then ease and comfort. It could be hours of ease and comfort vs days of anxiety after. Thats if things go well, thats the upside potential of taking a drink. Not very good. How about the downside potential of taking a drink, I hate to think of what could go wrong for me.

A couple of weeks in you may want to look out for a sponsor to take you through the steps. Ive heard the big book compared to a 747 airplane instruction manual. Someone could hand you the manual and you can figure out how to fly. It might go easier with a pilot helping you.

Working the steps you can learn how to find some of that ease and comfort that we so desperately want. Alcohol has polluted our thinking into believing that we have to be restless, irritable, and discontent without it.

You are a couple weeks in, going to meetings and checking in here so you may be off to a really good start. Just lock up today for now. Your about halfway through a month already, it gets easier.
RecklessDrunk is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 07:14 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mizz's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
The first few weeks are always a bit bumpy. RD has some good advice up there. Perhaps reach out to someone and ask if they will walk your through the steps.

Also, sometimes we just need to take this one moment at a time. Its not easy. Its uncomfortable. The urge will pass. Think about tomorrow and how you will feel. Think about all you have accomplished thus far. Getting sober is one of the hardest things an alcoholic can do. Stay close to SR. Post often. We are here for support.
Mizz is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 01:46 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
aasharon90's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,201
Stay connected to your recovery lifelines like your
meetings and here in SR. Remember that you are
not alone and never have to be alone on your recovery
journey.

Continue reading and working your program one
step at a time. This is not a race. We all are on a
journey going thru changes. Changing old behavior
to make better, healthier ones.

My first 28 days sober was living in a rehab facility.

I got up each morning with everyone else. We ate
breakfast, exercised, had groups to discuss our addiction
and begin to learn a program of recovery that we could
incorporate in all areas of our life once we were released.

I was a mom of 2 and a wife that I had to find a way
to find balance with while continuing to learn how to
remain sober no matter what life threw at me.

I went to a heck of a lot of meetings, big book studies,
step studies, discussions and surrounded myself with
others just like me.

I listened, learned, absorbed and applied many lessons
to help build a strong solid foundation to live my life upon
for yrs ahead of me.

That journey began back in August 1990 and some 30 yrs
sober ago.

I will share that I have gone thru many of lifes challenges
and never did i think that picking up a drink would make
those situations any easier or better for me.

There is nothing in this world that would force me to
return to the misery that came or comes with addiction.

I took each day as it came and did what was needed
during the day to take care of my family and remain
sober. Even if it meant going to several meetings a
day.

As long as I had AA and faith in my back pocket I felt
strong enough to take each day sober.

You can too.

Today, i use SR as my lifeline to stay connected as I
continue on my own journey listening, learning, absorbing
and applying newer helpful fun ways to enjoy sobriety,
because life never has to be boring or dull.

Alcohol addiction leads to death.
Recovery leads to life.

I choose to live.

You can too. Happier, healthier, honest.
aasharon90 is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 02:22 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,326
Know for sure that it's normal to struggle in first few weeks of sobriety. Also, know for sure that you can get through this. It will get easier each time you deal with a craving and things will improve.

And, take some time to do something nice for yourself, too.
Anna is online now  
Old 11-28-2020, 02:43 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
It might help bolster your sobriety if you started practicing gratitude every day. Every day make a list of things/people/events you're grateful for. I find that being grateful not only strengthens my sobriety, it also makes me happier. Try it.

Here's a good article about gratitude.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
least is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 02:44 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,411
Hi Rissa. As Anna said, it's normal to have these days in the beginning. We're learning to live in a whole new way. Please know that things ease up & don't stay this challenging.

It sounds like you're doing everything right to educate yourself. If you went to the meeting, how did it go? I hope you'll keep reading & posting here. We all understand how you're feeling. You can do it!
Hevyn is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 02:48 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Hi Rissa and welcome

sometimes the early days are like that - you have to use every trick support and tool you have.
Not every day will be this hard, and it will get a lot easier, I promise.

This is common - its hard...but you're not going through anything the rest of us haven't - you can do this

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 03:16 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Robbie64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,469
Hi Rissa. Did you get to your meeting?

12-14 days in to my sobriety was often when I went back to drinking. The negative effects of the alcohol had worn off, I was usually feeling better and boredom had often set in. And the cravings would start to kick in. I wish I had learned to ignore tham, or at least act on them, much earlier in life. Instead of doing something proactive - going to a meeting for example or simply learning how to "crave surf" - I give in to the cravings and drank. Hopefully you are feeling more relaxed and the urge to drink has lessened.
Robbie64 is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 09:49 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 112
Just take it one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself with thoughts of not drinking forever or even for a week. Just one day.. That's all you have to do.

How do you want to live today or another way to look at it how do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning? Do you want to feel good and add another day onto your sobriety counter? Or do you want to feel horrible and go back to Day-1 again? I know which one I would choose.
BornSurvivor is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 10:33 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
When I wasn't in a meeting, it was very difficult for me to sit still. It was frustrating and painful, and it motivated me to go to a lot of meetings.
EndGameNYC is offline  
Old 11-28-2020, 11:35 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
relena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
Just wanted to say I hope you made it through the day.
relena is offline  
Old 11-29-2020, 12:29 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
I believe in miracles :)
 
Velvetee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Location: Europe
Posts: 160
I'm not too much away, 22 days but I think I have an idea of what you are going through. Keep fighting and posting, it does help. Hugs.
Velvetee is offline  
Old 11-29-2020, 06:54 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
DriGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,110
Originally Posted by Rissa View Post
But, I'm struggling. How do I get past this day? I really want to say that "I've made it two weeks" tomorrow.
Early days in recovery were the worst for me. The cravings were merciless, and it was the one time I had to plow through getting better while holding on to my chair. I assume it's like that for all of us.

First, remember that this stage doesn't last that long. While this stage requires using all the will power you can muster, it changes into something much easier to handle. You move from pulling out your hair to a more conscious thought process. You're still in danger, but at least the obsessive cravings are gone, and you can rationally reason your way through your AV and stupid rationalizations you use to tip the bottle.

Second, I made it through this part, but there may be easier ways to do it that I wasn't aware of at the time. My mistake was facing the challenge like I was some 800 pound Gorilla, beating my chest in defiance of the cravings with an attitude of, "Bring it on!" I would sit there letting the cravings wash over me, rather than remove myself from them. I think you should experiment with ways of distracting yourself from the cravings, rather than trying to be the gorilla. Get off the chair, go for a hike, push the cravings away. Concentrate on something else that you do with your hands. Instead of doing battle, try to escape in an honorable retreat. You will still have to do battle at times, but learn to distract yourself from the battle as best you can.

These first few days are exceptionally difficult, but you need to move on to stage of thinking through those drinking thoughts. Commit yourself to never drinking again. Embrace that commitment fully. Now the danger is in falling prey to the idea that one drink won't hurt, especially since you will be feeling so good. But continued sobriety is your only way out of this mess. And frankly, embracing never drinking again became a source of happy relief for me. Imagine being happy never drinking again. It's real and it happens, and it won't be some kind of sacrifice, because you will experience life from a different perspective. You will be free.

DriGuy is online now  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:16 AM.