Morning after night before
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,703
Originally Posted by Stable 
I was doing well moderating but last night overdid it. Really unhappy this has happened. To suffer like this for so long is torture.
One day I hope I will be free!
One day I hope I will be free!
That ship for me has set sail a long time ago and isn't coming back into port again.....The more you try to fight this, the worse it will become. Trust me, 2 Rehabs in 5 years and a few close calls with relapses has taught me this. For me, this war is over for good now.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
You've made dozens of posts saying alcohol brings you absolutely no joy and you don't know why you continue drink. You said you want to be sober more than you want to drink
If the above is true, why are you trying to moderate? Why would someone try to moderate something they dislike?
If the above is true, why are you trying to moderate? Why would someone try to moderate something they dislike?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 230
Now nearly 35 hours sober, managed to get to work. Not yet had a proper meal and hangover not quite over.
I have thought moderating is better for me because when I relapsed after 5 months the consequences were very bad. Therefore I think I’m afraid of that happening again.
The truth is though I cannot moderate and when I have alcohol I lose control and act on impulse hence losing money gambling.
I find it easy to stay sober for 2 or 3 days after a bad bender but as everyone here knows Alcoholics have very short memories.
The mental torture and anxiety I went through yesterday I do not want to happen again.
Total abstinence is the only answer for me. The persistence of allcohollism despite long term negative consequences seems a unique feature of this terrible disease.
My plan is to get sober and use lent as a perfect excuse to drink.
Talking of excuses I have made thousands over the years to justify my drinking. What I need to do is instead of making excuses to drink I need to make excuses not to drink.
I have thought moderating is better for me because when I relapsed after 5 months the consequences were very bad. Therefore I think I’m afraid of that happening again.
The truth is though I cannot moderate and when I have alcohol I lose control and act on impulse hence losing money gambling.
I find it easy to stay sober for 2 or 3 days after a bad bender but as everyone here knows Alcoholics have very short memories.
The mental torture and anxiety I went through yesterday I do not want to happen again.
Total abstinence is the only answer for me. The persistence of allcohollism despite long term negative consequences seems a unique feature of this terrible disease.
My plan is to get sober and use lent as a perfect excuse to drink.
Talking of excuses I have made thousands over the years to justify my drinking. What I need to do is instead of making excuses to drink I need to make excuses not to drink.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
That's the beginning of a plan and well done Stable.
Now you need to think ahead about how (specifically) you will deal with stress, temptations, cravings and so on which will keep happening because Life is like that.
You need "steps" which interrupt the cycle of craving / consumption.
Until you really figure that out, you will be very vulnerable to relapsing.
Glad you are giving up the moderation idea
Now you need to think ahead about how (specifically) you will deal with stress, temptations, cravings and so on which will keep happening because Life is like that.
You need "steps" which interrupt the cycle of craving / consumption.
Until you really figure that out, you will be very vulnerable to relapsing.
Glad you are giving up the moderation idea
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I have thought moderating is better for me because when I relapsed after 5 months the consequences were very bad. Therefore I think I’m afraid of that happening again.
whether you're trying to moderate or trying to be abstinent, things get bad when you drink again.
Relapse is not mandatory - I don't know why you drank again after 5 months but maybe you need a better plan or more support or maybe you need to make more changes but you can surely safely and securely stay sober forever.
Depends on the work you put in to doing that...
Don't blame abstinence, man - blame your desire to keep drinking.
D
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