Class of April 2018 Part 5
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
It saddens me to see so many struggling, but the fact that we keep posting says we are determined to kick this demon out of our lives once and for all. It is so worth it. It is extremely difficult at times, but isn't dealing with our drinking selves even more terrible?
I'm ready to be done with it forever. It isn't easy and it's not always going to be pleasant, but I love the sober me (wife, mother, daughter) a whole lot better than the former wine addict me. It's so worth it. Aren't all things in life that are truly worth it difficult at times? It's a race we are running and it takes painful training, a lot of self talk, and those who get it cheering us on. The prize is a clear mind, good conscience, healthier body, hope, and so much more.
Here I am at 1 month today talking like I have it all together! NOT! But I have learned a few things in my umpteenth time trying to stop my wine drinking.
Thinking of you all and hoping we can get some more sober time under our belts.
Daisybelle, Thank you for your daily posts and the way you care for your April reprobates. We appreciate you and you are doing so well with your sobriety.
Viper, Stick around here. I love your posts and it seems like you are doing some very valuable soul searching. You can do this...for you.
So sleepy. Going to bed. Night.
I'm ready to be done with it forever. It isn't easy and it's not always going to be pleasant, but I love the sober me (wife, mother, daughter) a whole lot better than the former wine addict me. It's so worth it. Aren't all things in life that are truly worth it difficult at times? It's a race we are running and it takes painful training, a lot of self talk, and those who get it cheering us on. The prize is a clear mind, good conscience, healthier body, hope, and so much more.
Here I am at 1 month today talking like I have it all together! NOT! But I have learned a few things in my umpteenth time trying to stop my wine drinking.
Thinking of you all and hoping we can get some more sober time under our belts.
Daisybelle, Thank you for your daily posts and the way you care for your April reprobates. We appreciate you and you are doing so well with your sobriety.
Viper, Stick around here. I love your posts and it seems like you are doing some very valuable soul searching. You can do this...for you.
So sleepy. Going to bed. Night.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,320
Eff its are temporary - we get through them and we can live to fight another day sober.
I really had to force myself to love myself in the beginning - I wanted me to fight for myself like I'd fight for a friend. I kept telling myself I was worth the effort and, before very long, I believed it.
Noone is here cause they kinda sorta have a little problem maybe - we all know the stakes here.
If you're sober stay sober, if you've slipped, get back on the right road
Don't give in guys
D
I really had to force myself to love myself in the beginning - I wanted me to fight for myself like I'd fight for a friend. I kept telling myself I was worth the effort and, before very long, I believed it.
Noone is here cause they kinda sorta have a little problem maybe - we all know the stakes here.
If you're sober stay sober, if you've slipped, get back on the right road
Don't give in guys
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
8.20 am
Good morning Aprils
I hope to find you all sober, well and happy and ready for whatever the weekend throws at you.
It's a very dull and cloudy morning here and a bit cooler too, quite a relief actually from the baking sun. I've had my g.son sleep over like I do on a Friday and I've got to take him to see his mummy this morning, he's not seen her since the beginning of April ( long story) and he's a little apprehensive about it, hopefully he'll be okay.
Nichole, we cross posts again, we keep doing that. I've kidded myself in the past too that I could just have a few each day, in fact I've tried it all, not drinking until after 9 in the evening, because obviously I'm not an alcoholic if I can wait till 9 pm, only drinking at weekends, because I can't possibly be an alcoholic if I only drink at weekends, not drinking at home because blah, blah, blah. None of it works, I'm an alcoholic and that's that. I don't want to be an alcoholic, I hate being an alcoholic, but I am, end of. One thing I know for sure though is that it's that 1st drink that does the damage. 1 is 1 too many and 50 is never enough. I think and hope that I've accepted now that I can't drink, I am powerless over alcohol, sober is the way forward for me, the only way and from what I've seen up to now, sobriety offers a much more rewarding way of life. I urge you to talk to your doctor about everything and be completely honest with him/her. Take the medications that you have been prescribed and take them properly then just concentrate for now on not picking up that first drink today and be kind to yourself. Today is 24 hours, that's all.
Well done Quit on reaching a month, that's awesome, knew you'd do it.
" I'm ready to be done with it forever. It isn't easy and it's not always going to be pleasant, but I love the sober me (wife, mother, daughter) a whole lot better than the former wine addict me. It's so worth it. Aren't all things in life that are truly worth it difficult at times? It's a race we are running and it takes painful training, a lot of self talk, and those who get it cheering us on. The prize is a clear mind, good conscience, healthier body, hope, and so much more."
I love that paragraph, that's exactly where I feel I'm at. Big hugs to you and enjoy your sober weekend. xx
Thank you Dee, I always appreciate your words of wisdom.
Going to go and make breakfast now. Be back at some point later. Wishing you all a fabulous weekend.
Thought for the day.....“People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.”
Good morning Aprils
I hope to find you all sober, well and happy and ready for whatever the weekend throws at you.
It's a very dull and cloudy morning here and a bit cooler too, quite a relief actually from the baking sun. I've had my g.son sleep over like I do on a Friday and I've got to take him to see his mummy this morning, he's not seen her since the beginning of April ( long story) and he's a little apprehensive about it, hopefully he'll be okay.
Nichole, we cross posts again, we keep doing that. I've kidded myself in the past too that I could just have a few each day, in fact I've tried it all, not drinking until after 9 in the evening, because obviously I'm not an alcoholic if I can wait till 9 pm, only drinking at weekends, because I can't possibly be an alcoholic if I only drink at weekends, not drinking at home because blah, blah, blah. None of it works, I'm an alcoholic and that's that. I don't want to be an alcoholic, I hate being an alcoholic, but I am, end of. One thing I know for sure though is that it's that 1st drink that does the damage. 1 is 1 too many and 50 is never enough. I think and hope that I've accepted now that I can't drink, I am powerless over alcohol, sober is the way forward for me, the only way and from what I've seen up to now, sobriety offers a much more rewarding way of life. I urge you to talk to your doctor about everything and be completely honest with him/her. Take the medications that you have been prescribed and take them properly then just concentrate for now on not picking up that first drink today and be kind to yourself. Today is 24 hours, that's all.
Well done Quit on reaching a month, that's awesome, knew you'd do it.
" I'm ready to be done with it forever. It isn't easy and it's not always going to be pleasant, but I love the sober me (wife, mother, daughter) a whole lot better than the former wine addict me. It's so worth it. Aren't all things in life that are truly worth it difficult at times? It's a race we are running and it takes painful training, a lot of self talk, and those who get it cheering us on. The prize is a clear mind, good conscience, healthier body, hope, and so much more."
I love that paragraph, that's exactly where I feel I'm at. Big hugs to you and enjoy your sober weekend. xx
Thank you Dee, I always appreciate your words of wisdom.
Going to go and make breakfast now. Be back at some point later. Wishing you all a fabulous weekend.
Thought for the day.....“People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.”
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Snitch good for you not drinking despite the AV.
Nichole, you and your two kids deserve a sober you. You need help. I dislike AA, but get your butt over to AA (husband be damned) or to some other program or place and devote 150% to it. Even though I dislike AA I wish I let them take control of my life 10 years ago. The bigger the city the more chances of finding the right fit with AA. You are out in the sticks, but f**k it!! This is your life kiddo. 💙💚
My father was a drinker and an ass****. He’s changed around now, but still has his ‘well deserved’ pints of brandy every day. I’m not being judgemental at all (because I’m a drunk like you), and I don’t want to be harsh, but most of the time, the kids will suffer.
This has nothing to do with Nichole, but it’s my story. I try to get beyond the programming I got my entire childhood and then later in life as a person with poor health reliant on my dad, but it’s hard to break. As far as I’m concerned it ruined my life. My sister was the princess so she didn’t get the treatment I did, but she agrees with me. A lot of it was that his boozing never allowed him any introspection. He had no idea he was screwing with my head. His father drank and beat him, and his brothers, he became a real powerhouse despite that. At least he knew better than to lay a hand on me ever, but the emotional stuff ruined me. I’m just to the point of seeing it, and shutting him down... bluntly, and brutally. I’m done with that ****!!! He backs off when I get mean now.
V🐍
Nichole, you and your two kids deserve a sober you. You need help. I dislike AA, but get your butt over to AA (husband be damned) or to some other program or place and devote 150% to it. Even though I dislike AA I wish I let them take control of my life 10 years ago. The bigger the city the more chances of finding the right fit with AA. You are out in the sticks, but f**k it!! This is your life kiddo. 💙💚
My father was a drinker and an ass****. He’s changed around now, but still has his ‘well deserved’ pints of brandy every day. I’m not being judgemental at all (because I’m a drunk like you), and I don’t want to be harsh, but most of the time, the kids will suffer.
This has nothing to do with Nichole, but it’s my story. I try to get beyond the programming I got my entire childhood and then later in life as a person with poor health reliant on my dad, but it’s hard to break. As far as I’m concerned it ruined my life. My sister was the princess so she didn’t get the treatment I did, but she agrees with me. A lot of it was that his boozing never allowed him any introspection. He had no idea he was screwing with my head. His father drank and beat him, and his brothers, he became a real powerhouse despite that. At least he knew better than to lay a hand on me ever, but the emotional stuff ruined me. I’m just to the point of seeing it, and shutting him down... bluntly, and brutally. I’m done with that ****!!! He backs off when I get mean now.
V🐍
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Epiphany is right yesterday. I can’t remember who said that. I may have been going about this all wrong. I’m finding out who I am. I don’t care what anyone is going to think of how my life goes. I come from a wealthy area. Girls in my age range own a car that is worth more then I’ve ever even earned. Because of a full academic scholarship (that’s right Viper is very smart) I went to a local, tiny, Ivy League school that is $71,000 a year 😬. People actually pay it. Honestly if you’ve got the money, it’s worth it for your kid. You come out with no ‘trade’ but poised extremely well for whatever comes next. I don’t regret it for a second, but I’d like to be a motorcycle mechanic or jewelry maker now 😂. I swear if there was a state program to become a certified motorcycle mechanic or a scholarship, I’d be all over that. I’d open my own shop.
Tell me if it’s tasteless to talk about money like that. I don’t have any anyway.
I’d like to get out if the area for several reasons. The winters and socioeconomic strata, for sure. It gets me down to even be around these people.
Therapists - I had/have one therapist that was truly amazing. He takes my insurance, he is in the top 1% of therapists. I should know, I’ve seen a ton of them. Most aren’t worth much. There comes a point where you poop or get off the pot. That’s why I’m not seeing anyone regularly now.
I don’t want to jinx it and I’ll tell later, but a wise person here made a comment to me that just resonates. It’s good.
I’m going for just today. No drinks. Just today, and a better future, I hope.
V🐍
Tell me if it’s tasteless to talk about money like that. I don’t have any anyway.
I’d like to get out if the area for several reasons. The winters and socioeconomic strata, for sure. It gets me down to even be around these people.
Therapists - I had/have one therapist that was truly amazing. He takes my insurance, he is in the top 1% of therapists. I should know, I’ve seen a ton of them. Most aren’t worth much. There comes a point where you poop or get off the pot. That’s why I’m not seeing anyone regularly now.
I don’t want to jinx it and I’ll tell later, but a wise person here made a comment to me that just resonates. It’s good.
I’m going for just today. No drinks. Just today, and a better future, I hope.
V🐍
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Ok nobody is around so I’m going to keep posting. I’m tired. I’m undergoing that round of vaccines I think I mentioned. I’ve had everything for Travel except this one. It is 3 shots and just kicks my butt. One more to go next week.
I’d like to start to rewrite my story now. The beginning is easy to come up with I guess. Don’t drink, excersize, eat well... and see what happens in 30-60 days. I think a lot would open up. I’m trying to be positive here.
I spoke with my sister today and she said, she thinks I can’t rewrite it here. I need to get physically away from my father and somewhere warm. If 20 years of therapy and coaches can’t break this dynamic with him, I just need to remove myself. She’s probably correct.
Well as usual I have good food, chicken and veggies and fruit an crackers etc. I’m logged in to HBO.
V
I’d like to start to rewrite my story now. The beginning is easy to come up with I guess. Don’t drink, excersize, eat well... and see what happens in 30-60 days. I think a lot would open up. I’m trying to be positive here.
I spoke with my sister today and she said, she thinks I can’t rewrite it here. I need to get physically away from my father and somewhere warm. If 20 years of therapy and coaches can’t break this dynamic with him, I just need to remove myself. She’s probably correct.
Well as usual I have good food, chicken and veggies and fruit an crackers etc. I’m logged in to HBO.
V
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Hi Viper,
I’m happy and excited for you to embark on a journey of making your story a good and positive one FOR YOU! You are a smart guy. Family dynamics can be so stinking difficult to work through and around. It sounds like you’re on to something though by putting greater separation between you and your father.
I look forward to following your story...
I’m happy and excited for you to embark on a journey of making your story a good and positive one FOR YOU! You are a smart guy. Family dynamics can be so stinking difficult to work through and around. It sounds like you’re on to something though by putting greater separation between you and your father.
I look forward to following your story...
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by Viperidae 
Ok nobody is around so I’m going to keep posting. I’m tired. I’m undergoing that round of vaccines I think I mentioned. I’ve had everything for Travel except this one. It is 3 shots and just kicks my butt. One more to go next week.
I’d like to start to rewrite my story now. The beginning is easy to come up with I guess. Don’t drink, excersize, eat well... and see what happens in 30-60 days. I think a lot would open up. I’m trying to be positive here.
I spoke with my sister today and she said, she thinks I can’t rewrite it here. I need to get physically away from my father and somewhere warm. If 20 years of therapy and coaches can’t break this dynamic with him, I just need to remove myself. She’s probably correct.
Well as usual I have good food, chicken and veggies and fruit an crackers etc. I’m logged in to HBO.
V
I’d like to start to rewrite my story now. The beginning is easy to come up with I guess. Don’t drink, excersize, eat well... and see what happens in 30-60 days. I think a lot would open up. I’m trying to be positive here.
I spoke with my sister today and she said, she thinks I can’t rewrite it here. I need to get physically away from my father and somewhere warm. If 20 years of therapy and coaches can’t break this dynamic with him, I just need to remove myself. She’s probably correct.
Well as usual I have good food, chicken and veggies and fruit an crackers etc. I’m logged in to HBO.
V
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good evening April's
Just checking in before I go to bed. I hope you've all had the best Saturday.
I hope today has been a productive day for you Nichole, keep strong and keep reminding yourself that it's just for today. Today is all we have.
Suzy, I'm sooo proud of you. 3 months is awesome, well done.
Wow Viper, this sounds like you mean business. I shall be following your story tooI'm looking forward to seeing the real Viper emerge.
Hi Quit, hope all is good with you.
I'm off to bed now, sleep well all of you. xxx
Just checking in before I go to bed. I hope you've all had the best Saturday.
I hope today has been a productive day for you Nichole, keep strong and keep reminding yourself that it's just for today. Today is all we have.
Suzy, I'm sooo proud of you. 3 months is awesome, well done.
Wow Viper, this sounds like you mean business. I shall be following your story too
I'm looking forward to seeing the real Viper emerge. Hi Quit, hope all is good with you.
I'm off to bed now, sleep well all of you. xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning all!
Thank you Viper, Daisy and Dee!
Wow its a lovely day here and so good to wake up clear headed on a sunday morning!
I am so grateful to be sober. 3 months ago I was in such a dark, hopeless place. I never want to revisit that again. Recovery is hard work but it is soooo worthwhile
😊😊😊
Thank you Viper, Daisy and Dee!
Wow its a lovely day here and so good to wake up clear headed on a sunday morning!
I am so grateful to be sober. 3 months ago I was in such a dark, hopeless place. I never want to revisit that again. Recovery is hard work but it is soooo worthwhile
😊😊😊
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