My drinking is out of control... just off a 7 day bender, want to quit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2
My drinking is out of control... just off a 7 day bender, want to quit
Hello everyone,
I am new here and have never posted to a forum but I feel like I need some support to get me out of this. I am considering AA but I am nervous to go, I don't know what to expect.
I feel so alone, I am going to be 30 in a few weeks but still people don't understand because social life revolves around drinking so I feel like I have no one to talk to. They don't see what really happens when I drink. My benders usually start alone then involve drinking alone or with others over a few days.
I just finished another 7 day bender (after almost 6 weeks of sobriety), I did many things I am not proud of, one being losing ANOTHER job and falling down a huge flight of stairs which resulted in multiple bruises and cuts. I could of snapped my neck! Lost my last job during my last bender a few months ago. So many other embarrassing things I don't want to think of
Once I start I cannot stop, all logical thought is gone. I don't even think it is NOT NORMAL to be taking vodka nip shots in a parking lot at 11am. My personality completely changes when drunk.
I feel so alone. I know if I go down this path any longer, something horrible will happen. I have lost so much and I desperately want to stop and I try but always end up drinking thinking this will be the time I can control it.
I am sick of wasting my life drinking then recovering from it, then the depression that follows is ruining me!
Any advice on steps I can take to recovery or any support is much appreciated.
Thank you
I am new here and have never posted to a forum but I feel like I need some support to get me out of this. I am considering AA but I am nervous to go, I don't know what to expect.
I feel so alone, I am going to be 30 in a few weeks but still people don't understand because social life revolves around drinking so I feel like I have no one to talk to. They don't see what really happens when I drink. My benders usually start alone then involve drinking alone or with others over a few days.
I just finished another 7 day bender (after almost 6 weeks of sobriety), I did many things I am not proud of, one being losing ANOTHER job and falling down a huge flight of stairs which resulted in multiple bruises and cuts. I could of snapped my neck! Lost my last job during my last bender a few months ago. So many other embarrassing things I don't want to think of
Once I start I cannot stop, all logical thought is gone. I don't even think it is NOT NORMAL to be taking vodka nip shots in a parking lot at 11am. My personality completely changes when drunk.
I feel so alone. I know if I go down this path any longer, something horrible will happen. I have lost so much and I desperately want to stop and I try but always end up drinking thinking this will be the time I can control it.
I am sick of wasting my life drinking then recovering from it, then the depression that follows is ruining me!
Any advice on steps I can take to recovery or any support is much appreciated.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome to the forums.
I drank like you. I would go on benders of indeterminable length until I was either drinking or recovering from a binge.
This went on for ten years until I began to drink most every day.
Walking the two blocks home from the liquor store doing two shooters of whiskey to get things started. This was at 8am.
Of course I didn't have a car, drinking money was more important.
In all, I drank alcoholically for thirty years.
One very hungover morning, I called AA. I met a man who drank like I did and he understood my problem.
I was terrified of going to a meeting, but I was near the end, and I knew it.
It took a few tries of getting up the nerve to go, but I finally gave in.
And here were a room full of people, from all walks of life, many of them having successfully stopped drinking.
I wanted what they had. One of the things they told me was I only had to not drink one day at a time. I could handle that. The thought of quitting forever seemed a little much, but one day was manageable.
It's now been over seven years of those days since this drunk has had a drink.
And trust me, I'm leaving out many of the gory details of which alcohol brought me. But I was a bad drunk.
Try a meeting. Make the call to AA to find one. I remember tat phone weighed a hundred pounds when I made that call. But you can do it.
You're not alone.
I wish you the best and stick around here. You'll find a lot of support.
.
I drank like you. I would go on benders of indeterminable length until I was either drinking or recovering from a binge.
This went on for ten years until I began to drink most every day.
Walking the two blocks home from the liquor store doing two shooters of whiskey to get things started. This was at 8am.
Of course I didn't have a car, drinking money was more important.
In all, I drank alcoholically for thirty years.
One very hungover morning, I called AA. I met a man who drank like I did and he understood my problem.
I was terrified of going to a meeting, but I was near the end, and I knew it.
It took a few tries of getting up the nerve to go, but I finally gave in.
And here were a room full of people, from all walks of life, many of them having successfully stopped drinking.
I wanted what they had. One of the things they told me was I only had to not drink one day at a time. I could handle that. The thought of quitting forever seemed a little much, but one day was manageable.
It's now been over seven years of those days since this drunk has had a drink.
And trust me, I'm leaving out many of the gory details of which alcohol brought me. But I was a bad drunk.
Try a meeting. Make the call to AA to find one. I remember tat phone weighed a hundred pounds when I made that call. But you can do it.
You're not alone.
I wish you the best and stick around here. You'll find a lot of support.
.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome to SR, JEPPY! You've found a great place for information and support if you want to get sober.
What made me want to try AA was when a member told me that one day I would be able to look people in the eye. I was desperate to stop the misery I was living and so I went. It was the one place where I finally felt like I belonged and it gave me a brand new outlook on life.
What made me want to try AA was when a member told me that one day I would be able to look people in the eye. I was desperate to stop the misery I was living and so I went. It was the one place where I finally felt like I belonged and it gave me a brand new outlook on life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
I have been where you are for so long. I just finally reached out for help. I'm on my 2nd day of sobriety, and it's scary! But I know it's time. It sounds like it is time for you too. If you're not ready to go to meetings or groups, talk talk talk here and read the articles. Consider going to therapy to get a hold on your depression so you can focus on recovery, and consider talking to a doctor for advice and resources. I know it's hard, I'm currently waiting to talk to my doctor (appt on Thursday), but it is the right thing to do if you want to break free from alcohol for good.
You can do this! No more nips
You can do this! No more nips
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 147
Hi.....I drank for 25 yrs. Non-stop.... I got sober in 2004. I stayed sober for 7 yrs. I stopped going to meetings and let my guard down. I won't be making that mistake again. I've been sober 90 days TODAY !!!! Im 46 yrs. old. I should tell you this...... If you have been drinking to the point of having withdrawal symptoms such as.... shakes, tremors, sweats, loss of sleep, headaches....etc.... It would be good advice to tell you to go to the hospital. You could go into seizures.... hallucinations...and worse. Alcohol withdrawal is fatal in 15% of those who don't seek medical help. It's pure hell. I'm not trying to scare you....I just hate to think of anyone going through what I did. There is NOTHING to be afraid of at an AA meeting. You will be among friends.... Like-minded people. No judgements. Everyone is there for the same reason. You are going on 30. What a great age to get sober !!!! Good luck and God bless....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
I pulled it together at age 39, I’m 41 now and my life is like a different person in many ways.
So many times I tried to pull out of it all, only to find myself in that parking lot as you describe, thinking it’s normal. Laughing at how uptight it is to think there’s something wrong with my alcoholic behavior.
Well I never have regretted quitting drinking. I felt a little sorry for myself in the beginning, and this forum helped me with that, but never did I regret it the way I regretted drinking.
The thing that took me ten years longer than you to figure out was that I really needed help. While there are some people out there who apparently quit without help those who have a plan that involves support seem to be more successful and that was what I needed.
Things happen as they do and I have no regrets but.... it would have been amazing if I’d pulled it together at 29 instead of 39. Because I knew at 30 that I needed to. I even went to an AA meeting at 30, only to (literally) run out at introductions.
You can do amazing things in a sober life. Falling down stairs and losing jobs and shooting vodka is parking lots not nearly as fun as driving sober across the country to see a solar eclipse on top of a mountain you climbed first thing in the morning when you weren’t hung over, in the company of a significant other who is never upset or hurt by you. Or doing the things you talk about wanting to do when you’re drunk or drinking, but never actually do or finish because, drunk and drinking. Having work recognize your talents and promote you.
Getting sober and most importantly staying sober was the best decision I ever made and I did it with the help of the people here. They didn’t always say what I wanted to hear and frankly, those parts turned out to be the most important.
So many times I tried to pull out of it all, only to find myself in that parking lot as you describe, thinking it’s normal. Laughing at how uptight it is to think there’s something wrong with my alcoholic behavior.
Well I never have regretted quitting drinking. I felt a little sorry for myself in the beginning, and this forum helped me with that, but never did I regret it the way I regretted drinking.
The thing that took me ten years longer than you to figure out was that I really needed help. While there are some people out there who apparently quit without help those who have a plan that involves support seem to be more successful and that was what I needed.
Things happen as they do and I have no regrets but.... it would have been amazing if I’d pulled it together at 29 instead of 39. Because I knew at 30 that I needed to. I even went to an AA meeting at 30, only to (literally) run out at introductions.
You can do amazing things in a sober life. Falling down stairs and losing jobs and shooting vodka is parking lots not nearly as fun as driving sober across the country to see a solar eclipse on top of a mountain you climbed first thing in the morning when you weren’t hung over, in the company of a significant other who is never upset or hurt by you. Or doing the things you talk about wanting to do when you’re drunk or drinking, but never actually do or finish because, drunk and drinking. Having work recognize your talents and promote you.
Getting sober and most importantly staying sober was the best decision I ever made and I did it with the help of the people here. They didn’t always say what I wanted to hear and frankly, those parts turned out to be the most important.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I took a spill down some stairs in blackout 'mode' during the end of my drinking shenanigans. Broke a couple ribs(not sure because I didn't go to the doctor) and was basically worthless for about 4wks. Was just mentioning to my buddy yesterday how I no longer have any mysterious cuts or bruises. If I have an injury now I know/remember how I got it. Get/stay sober while you're still young. I drank away my 30's and really amped it up to alcoholic drinking about 36.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: York County, PA
Posts: 302
Nothing to be afraid of at an AA meeting. They were all where you are right now. You'll find a lot of understanding and acceptance. Something people w/out addiction can't or won't give you.
Also, I agree with making a visit to a doctor, or the ER if withdrawals begin to get bad. Again, you'll find no judgment. You'll have to answer some direct questions you might not have been willing to before, but believe me, you are not the first person a health care provider has seen who admitted to a substance abuse problem. Takes courage, but if your withdrawals become like mine were, I was too desperate for help to want to continue to lie anymore.
Also, I agree with making a visit to a doctor, or the ER if withdrawals begin to get bad. Again, you'll find no judgment. You'll have to answer some direct questions you might not have been willing to before, but believe me, you are not the first person a health care provider has seen who admitted to a substance abuse problem. Takes courage, but if your withdrawals become like mine were, I was too desperate for help to want to continue to lie anymore.
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