Ken0331

Sober seems dull, huh?

Well how's being an out of control drunk working out for you?


From your first post:

You don't have to do anything in life but die. Everything else is a matter of choices and consequences. But using those drugs, mixing them with alcohol, in the amounts you drink it, you are most assuredly on that path.

Is that what you really want? To die?

xym297

Some geeze said earlier cardio arrest at my age and my history he’s not far from wrong. Stroke that concerns me more. Maybe just 1 more beer

xym297

Ken

Is the best I have sadly

Ken0331

So then I guess you really don't want help then, do you?


What do you want?

Ghoster18

I'm 51
Just entered my 12th day of sobriety
I am sponsored
I am a survivor
I am accountable to a sober guide
I am taking responsibility and I feel great!
I am walking the walk
I talked the talk for years nearly fkn killed me!
I am in England also.
My life is my life
Your life is your life
It's a self fulfilling prophecy
We create our own reality by the decisions we make and the actions that follow.
I have a Tesco store 2 mins from where I live
I have used that store as an off licence and I have used that store for fruit and veg.
The store remains the same it's me that's changed.
When you get on the train to journey home
Either drink or change your behaviour
The train will remain the same but what will you do?
I'm on your side
Because I'm like you
Sobriety for me has to be earned by me taking the plunge and going to any lengths.
It's a do or die!
Addiction is a fatal progression.
Turn it around and over time you'll have no regrets that you sobered up.
I've never ever heard anyone say drinking is such a cool thing to continue with when your alcoholic. Never heard that.
But I've been inspired by loads of recovering or recovered people who share their experience STRENGTH and hope with me.
Get at it if you want it
You are your greatest asset
Sink or swim.
I'm currently swimming
Sure I've got arm bAnds on its now day 12
But I'm in such a better place than I was 13 days ago.
G

xym297

I want you to tell me my baviour is fine.

If it’s not fine which I’m guessing is probably the case how to I change. I like drinking too many beers I get to work every day

I have no idea to make it fine just looking for how you guys realised that coming home to a beer or 10 wasn’t the answer

AnvilheadII

as you are drinking now, nothing much will make a dent.

this is a RECOVERY forum......and if you want to recover, this is the place to be.

there is a ton of experience here on how to quit.

scottynz

“I want you to tell me my behaviour is fine.”

I’ve lurked here a long time too and am far too early in my journey to really give advice, but I so know how you feel with the above sentence. I wanted to know my drinking was not that bad, that perhaps I overdid it, but I was in control. I hold a senior position in my profession, nobody has a clue about my drinking, I’m functioning right?

Now I want to hear that if I abstain and get my bloodwork back to normal levels and show that I can stay sober for a sustained period that I can return to drinking in moderation. I will have gained control over alcohol and I want the people here to tell me that is possible.

Except that giving into what I want has got me in this situation in the first place. I know nobody here is going to tell me what I want to hear because it would be a lie and they have seen people ride that roller coaster all too often. Intellectually you know the damage you are doing and the combination with zopiclone is playing russian roulette with your life, but this isn’t about intellect - addiction is such a liar and if the people here won’t tell you what you want to hear, addiction will.

A friend in recovery told me that choosing alcohol is choosing a slow way to commit suicide. I still want to be told what I want to hear, life without alcohol seems daunting, but the support and wisdom here is amazing and I have to work hard to change myself with their support, but I also have to do some heavy lifting.

Ken0331

I won't. It's not, and a part of you still knows it, even though you are under the influence as you respond to me. Is the fact that you still hold a job the measuring stick you use to measure your quality of life now? Or is it the only one you want me to use, b/c if I used any other it would shine the light too brightly on how drugs and alcohol abuse have destroyed everything else?

How do you change? First you have to want it. Not, "I have to." Doing something b/c you have to is a lot different than doing it b/c you want to.

You know the answer as to how. You've been around for 10 years, and any reading here of people in recovery tells you it takes effort. Work. Desire.

What you want to be told is an easy way, sprinkle some fairy dust on you and you'll be cured. A pill. Some special trick or prayer. Doesn't work that way. You have to want it. Then you have to work it.


I don't spend time on people who don't want to do those things, and would rather sit in self-pity and talk about how nothing works b/c the half-@ssed attempts of their past says so. Hope you get the gift of desperation and become willing before your drug and alcohol abuse kills someone, either someone else or you.

Once you get there, come back and I'll offer what support and help I can. If all you want is to moan about how things suck and have someone tell you you're not that bad, go to your local pub. You'll find plenty of people there who will do that for you.


I'll mention you tonight when I talk to my Higher Power. Peace out.

Dee74

Hi xym
you wouldn't be here if everything was fine, so lets get to the nitty gritty

It is very scary to sober up especially as we have no idea of what sober life will be like and it's easy to imagine it sucks.

Look around tho - there's thousands of people who've given up drinking and found full happy lives.

I can honestly say I was desperately unhappy as a drinker - the drinking didn't start the unhappiness - the unhappiness led me to drink as a solution...but it certainly fuelled the unhappiness.

I've never been happier than I am now - and I didn't drink any Kool Aid, lose my free will or join a cult - I just stopped drinking and worked on my problems.

You have nothing to lose by giving this a go.

The initial phase is not a barrel of laughs but it's tolerable - and there's a ton of support here.

You'll get the most of of this place by experiencing it sober but we welcome drinkers too

I hope you'll keep posting and reading

D

Dee74

Just a reminder to keep our comments constructive please.

I think it's safe to assume people who go to the trouble of signing up here really do want help and they want change.

Lets give it freely, openly, and with some gentleness and compassion

Thanks

Dee
Moderator
SR

JJ991

I told myself that I had to quit for months & months, it didn't stop me. I needed the accountability, that is why I went to the GP. Never mind if you think sober is dull, that's not relevant right now. Don't think ahead, work in the now. What you need to do now is make the first step.

tomsteve

ya start with your behavior is fine(in your opinion)
then finish with
coming home to a beer or 10 wasn’t the answer


fine behavior doesnt drink too many beers.
fine behavior in many people doesnt even know what too many beers is.
fine behavior doesnt start a thread in a recovery forum titled, Helpppppp
fine behavior doesnt post on a recovery forum in feb 2009 with
I love my drinking but hate where it sometimes takes me
then
Helpppppp 9 years later. theres quite a few words between 2009-present from ya, xym, that dont read very mentally healthy,too.

i hope ya make a choice to make meetings,which your first thread in feb 2009 was about the 12 steps, a priority. also pick up the big book and read it over and over- i have a feeling if you do have it,its been used as a coaster.

Nonsensical

That is an excellent question! The answer to that one is going to propel you a long way down the road you seem to want to be on.

We could even refine it some more, I think. If a beer or 10 isn't the answer, what question is it NOT answering? For me that question is "How can I make my life something I don't want to hide from behind a beer or 10?"

The answer to that question set me free.

Good Luck at Work Today!

caleighj2279

Today I turn 39 years old and celebrate my 2 year sobriety date. Your drinking now sounds like the way I drank my whole life. When the bottom dropped out for me, I turned to hard alcohol and started drinking around the clock. I became physically dependent. I lost almost everything. I got 4 dui's in 18 months, got a felony, lost my license, my career. I did not lose my husband and children which is a blessing. I had tried AA and thought it didn't work, but if I'm honest I didn't really try it. I went to meetings and didn't share or get a sponsor. There was no action. For me, I had to change my thinking to change anything. I never really wanted to quit drinking. I wanted to control my drinking and not have the consequences I was having. Now, it took jail, seizures, rehabs, detoxes, hallucinations and a failed suicide attempt for me to understand that. But, that is my journey and how it had to be. Once I changed my thinking, I was able to start making other changes. I started going to meetings, then got a sponsor, then started the steps. Now I speak on panels and share my story. I haven't finished the steps so I don't sponsor other women yet. The program is about giving back and getting out of self. In the beginning I suggest filling your time with meetings, getting commitments. That makes you be accountable. By focusing on others, we take the focus of ourselves and our problems. When I'm having a tough time, I come on this forum and respond to other peoples posts. It takes my focus off whatever I'm dealing with at the time by giving back in a small way. I wish you the best and I hope my experience can help you in some way.

DontRemember

If I were you.. My 1st step towards change would be to dump EVERYTHING with booze down the drain and clean my house. Not trying to be mean,but that would be MY first step.