Adrian82

Well, it happened on my 35th birthday. We got together at the restaurant and kept drinking hard as usual. My very good friend drove there by car and left it nearby. Long story short, we got wasted and drove together to my home to leave the gifts - from this moment I don't remember ****. Then we drove to the nearby bar "continue". After that, I vaguely remember sitting by the wheel of his car and he commanded me to drive despite of the cops signaling us to stop. In 1 min a drove in my home area and everything I remember was that 2 cops were holding my arms behind my back - a DUI. My friend leaved the scene very fast and later he explained that he was to being charged by giving access to a dring driver and being served severe penalties - and that's why because he left me in the night in his own car in my anniversary.

OK - I know who I am - but he insists he is not guilty of doing this.

Ariesagain

First...this isn’t a friend situation, it’s an alcohol situation.

Second, is this the same situation you posted about before that happened back in June?

biminiblue

Some countries have a law that can charge the owner of the car if anyone else drives it under the influence at their request or with the owner's knowledge.

You've both gotten yourself into a bit of trouble. The courts will sort it out. I'd stay away from this guy for a while and get into a sobriety program. It will serve you well when you get your day in court and with your out of control behavior.

Adrian82

[QUOTE Second, is this the same situation you posted about before that happened back in June?[/QUOTE]

Correct. It's still bothering me. Yes, I don't have a toigh skin.

scarly

Im very confused....

Ariesagain

Does it matter, really?

So maybe it wasn’t you driving drunk that time. If you’re anything like me or most people here, there were plenty of times you drove drunk and just didn’t get caught, right?

Focusing on and blaming your friend is avoiding the core problem...alcohol.

What are you doing about that?

You’re only 35...plenty of time to get your life back.

scarly

I think I get it now....your friend drove drunk but you took the wrap? If thats correct then....I totally agree with Ariesagain.... You arent focusing on the right thing here...... its not your buddy who did this.....YOU did this. You got blitzed...and put yourself in a situation that you normally wouldnt have been in had it not been for your drinking....correct???

biminiblue

Well it sounded to me like the OP was blacked out and the friend took off. Regardless - the courts will sort it out.

No more drinking means no more trouble, yeah?

Stayingsassy

Yes. Ariesagain pointed this out for me when I was busy blaming and having a pity party in my first week of sobriety. Your addiction is running these feelings. If you are a victim you “get” to keep drinking because it’s always someone else’s fault.

Taking accountability was very helpful for me in the beginning.

Dee74

I'm sorry this is still bothering you Adrian.

Though I understand it's imortant to you, I still don't think the DUI is the most important issue here anyway.

Have you stopped drinking?

D

Grungehead

I have to agree with the others Adrian. I know that for me, until I learned to deal with resentments those feelings (resentment means to re-feel) were like fuel for my alcoholic drinking. When I learned how to examine my resentments I discovered that in nearly every case I was at least partly responsible by my actions, and more often than not I was the main offender. I can't control what other people do anyway, I can only take responsibility for my own actions and behavior. If I can keep my side of the street clean then I can walk around with a clean conscious and an uncluttered mind. Back when I was drinking it took a lot of time and energy to carry all those grudges around 24/7.

Dropsie

So, from a practical aspect, you should have a lawyer, which I presume you do. If not, get a good one. Emphasis on good.

I also think you should dump this "friend." I actually think you should dump your two so-called friends who caused this mess -- your buddy and your booze.

If you could say in court that you have stopped drinking, it could help a lot, and lets face it, sounds like a good idea based on your posts.

Alcohol is a slippery foe, makes us blame everyone but the real culprit, not to say your friend is not an *******, which it sounds like he is.

Good luck.

tomsteve

Friend situation: need advice

im not sure what ya want advise about. if its on this:
but he insists he is not guilty of doing this.

thats his problem. he made the choice to let a drunk person to drive his car just as a drunk person made the choice to drive it.
and BOTH made the choice to get knee walkin drunk- no guns were held to their heads.