Working on acceptance
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Originally Posted by Forward12 
As alcoholics, we are hard headed SOB's, especially when it comes to our addiction. Though once we finally put our egos down and admit I can't just "have a few" things change.
Powerlessness doesn't mean you are, in fact, you hold all of it. Though once you put just a drop of the devil in your body, it does make so.
Powerlessness doesn't mean you are, in fact, you hold all of it. Though once you put just a drop of the devil in your body, it does make so.
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
I'm really stuck with this. I read people here say that once they accepted they could no longer drink and took alcohol off the table they embraced recovery. Just wondering if anyone can give me some advice on how to actually do that. Every time I drink (literally) there is an issue. Today I missed my work. How do I get from here to where I want to be? Thank you
I like to use an analogy of a man standing on the rail way track. In the distance he sees a train approaching. He knows it because he can see it, if you asked him, he would say there is a train coming. He knows it is dangerous for him to stay where he is, but he has not moved. Has he really accepted the situation?
I would suggest the moment he takes the action of stepping off the track, we have evidence that he has admitted the situation and done something about it. That would be acceptance to me.
Admission without action is really denial. Acceptance is not a passive thing like I used to think. Action is the only evidence that acceptance is real. Passive acceptance is more like fatalism.
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
Thanks BB. I haven't heard about kindling so will have a good look at the links. I already know that each time I go back I do more damage. I think it's about responsibility. ME taking full responsibility. I think part of me was still looking for an out and there is none. Sober or drunk. That's it.
You're right about you choosing to be sober or not. No one else can do it for us. Took me a very long time to get to that point. Also, to Gottalide's post - I totally believe that "Acceptance" is an ACTIVE state of being and it applies to everything from the fact that we cannot drink normally to the fact that the person in front of us in the grocery checkout is taking forever and a day to get through. And everything in between.
Being in AA, once I was DONE drinking, then began working the steps with a sponsor and gradually turned my life into one completely focused on recovery - it became not my will anymore, but my higher powers. That's where the freedom, the good decision making ability, the peace, the joy, everything the program says is possible can come into our lives as it has mine.
Just one of the blessings of a life in recovery is not having that "mental rat race" about when, how, how much, etc etc that we obsessed and planned out when drinking.
You can do it. If you want to be sober more than you want to drink- which I know from experience is a scary thought at the start. Hope to see you here- working a plan for a new life.
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Originally Posted by Gottalife
Hi Gabe. It is a tough spot to be grappling with acceptance. It seems like quite a passive word to me, like resignation, but it isn't. In my mind it was possible for me to accept I was alcholic, and still keep drinking. In truth, I was able to make the admission and no more than that. My last few days fo drinking I told anyone who would listen I was alcoholic, but I still drank.
I like to use an analogy of a man standing on the rail way track. In the distance he sees a train approaching. He knows it because he can see it, if you asked him, he would say there is a train coming. He knows it is dangerous for him to stay where he is, but he has not moved. Has he really accepted the situation?
I would suggest the moment he takes the action of stepping off the track, we have evidence that he has admitted the situation and done something about it. That would be acceptance to me.
Admission without action is really denial. Acceptance is not a passive thing like I used to think. Action is the only evidence that acceptance is real. Passive acceptance is more like fatalism.
I like to use an analogy of a man standing on the rail way track. In the distance he sees a train approaching. He knows it because he can see it, if you asked him, he would say there is a train coming. He knows it is dangerous for him to stay where he is, but he has not moved. Has he really accepted the situation?
I would suggest the moment he takes the action of stepping off the track, we have evidence that he has admitted the situation and done something about it. That would be acceptance to me.
Admission without action is really denial. Acceptance is not a passive thing like I used to think. Action is the only evidence that acceptance is real. Passive acceptance is more like fatalism.
I think acceptance is concept I'd really misunderstood but thought I had sussed! I get now it's not just accepting I have a deeply unhealthy and dangerous relationship with alcohol but accepting I'm just like everyone who has. No different, not special, not fixable (in a way where I can still drink) and certainly not able to grasp a concept and that be the end of it. I need to work on my understanding and take action to maintain the life I want in recovery. Easy to say when I'm still reeling from being back to day 2 but I think acceptance and surrendering have become meaningful to me in a way they never have been before. I'm going to get this. I will! Thank you for posting.
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Originally Posted by August252015
Glad you are posting.
You're right about you choosing to be sober or not. No one else can do it for us. Took me a very long time to get to that point. Also, to Gottalide's post - I totally believe that "Acceptance" is an ACTIVE state of being and it applies to everything from the fact that we cannot drink normally to the fact that the person in front of us in the grocery checkout is taking forever and a day to get through. And everything in between.
Being in AA, once I was DONE drinking, then began working the steps with a sponsor and gradually turned my life into one completely focused on recovery - it became not my will anymore, but my higher powers. That's where the freedom, the good decision making ability, the peace, the joy, everything the program says is possible can come into our lives as it has mine.
Just one of the blessings of a life in recovery is not having that "mental rat race" about when, how, how much, etc etc that we obsessed and planned out when drinking.
You can do it. If you want to be sober more than you want to drink- which I know from experience is a scary thought at the start. Hope to see you here- working a plan for a new life.
You're right about you choosing to be sober or not. No one else can do it for us. Took me a very long time to get to that point. Also, to Gottalide's post - I totally believe that "Acceptance" is an ACTIVE state of being and it applies to everything from the fact that we cannot drink normally to the fact that the person in front of us in the grocery checkout is taking forever and a day to get through. And everything in between.
Being in AA, once I was DONE drinking, then began working the steps with a sponsor and gradually turned my life into one completely focused on recovery - it became not my will anymore, but my higher powers. That's where the freedom, the good decision making ability, the peace, the joy, everything the program says is possible can come into our lives as it has mine.
Just one of the blessings of a life in recovery is not having that "mental rat race" about when, how, how much, etc etc that we obsessed and planned out when drinking.
You can do it. If you want to be sober more than you want to drink- which I know from experience is a scary thought at the start. Hope to see you here- working a plan for a new life.
I think I just believed I needed to stop drinking, tweak a few routines in my life and come on here. I'm starting to understand that recovery is so much more than that, it's an opportunity to evolve, both spiritually and emotionally. It's also an opportunity to let go of resentments and hostility. Freedom from many things in fact. But it involves commitment, taking responsibility and considerable leg work to change. I'm going to give it my all and that's my best shot.
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Originally Posted by August252015
Glad you are posting.
You're right about you choosing to be sober or not. No one else can do it for us. Took me a very long time to get to that point. Also, to Gottalide's post - I totally believe that "Acceptance" is an ACTIVE state of being and it applies to everything from the fact that we cannot drink normally to the fact that the person in front of us in the grocery checkout is taking forever and a day to get through. And everything in between.
Being in AA, once I was DONE drinking, then began working the steps with a sponsor and gradually turned my life into one completely focused on recovery - it became not my will anymore, but my higher powers. That's where the freedom, the good decision making ability, the peace, the joy, everything the program says is possible can come into our lives as it has mine.
Just one of the blessings of a life in recovery is not having that "mental rat race" about when, how, how much, etc etc that we obsessed and planned out when drinking.
You can do it. If you want to be sober more than you want to drink- which I know from experience is a scary thought at the start. Hope to see you here- working a plan for a new life.
You're right about you choosing to be sober or not. No one else can do it for us. Took me a very long time to get to that point. Also, to Gottalide's post - I totally believe that "Acceptance" is an ACTIVE state of being and it applies to everything from the fact that we cannot drink normally to the fact that the person in front of us in the grocery checkout is taking forever and a day to get through. And everything in between.
Being in AA, once I was DONE drinking, then began working the steps with a sponsor and gradually turned my life into one completely focused on recovery - it became not my will anymore, but my higher powers. That's where the freedom, the good decision making ability, the peace, the joy, everything the program says is possible can come into our lives as it has mine.
Just one of the blessings of a life in recovery is not having that "mental rat race" about when, how, how much, etc etc that we obsessed and planned out when drinking.
You can do it. If you want to be sober more than you want to drink- which I know from experience is a scary thought at the start. Hope to see you here- working a plan for a new life.
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