velma929

"My compassion and empathy can go to the extremes at times where I want to help in helpless situations. "

Only you have control over your actions. Please be aware though, that many people with disabilities view unsolicited actions as condescending and demeaning. That someone views a person as helpless doesn't make it so.

dandylion

For me...I have found out, that, in life, every situation is complex and nuanced. Each one requires a decision and judgement on our part....according to our own value system.....
I think it is near impossible to take a hard and fast "rule" and apply it to everyone, across the board....in every situation

I am going to say, that, for me...if I were in a dark place or in need of some help...I would like it to be smarie to pass my way!
And, I would gladly do the same for her.....

Smarie78

Thank you Dandy, I would gladly help you! I definitely agree with this sentiment. No hard and fast rule. You just do your best to be a person of love to others while using your best judgement on whether the help is appropriate

Smarie78

You know, I really don't know. It helps to talk about it, but I still feel so far away from what others are clicking with. At my meeting last night a woman was reflecting on her power and she was full of sass and acceptance and ready to take on the world. She was like "if he wants to drink and be a jerk go ahead! but not on my time!"...and I sat there like a lump. I am in a low right now so really everything feels a little bit heavier. I couldn't relate to her. Sure I have had my moments where I feel that way, but I am struggling this time. I even had a shameful moment where I felt like "she has no idea what this is like. She doesn't know what it's like to have a loved one be at end stage and go missing for days on end. She doesn't know what it's like to wait for news on whether they found him dead or alive". I found myself unable to even relate despite the fact that both of us were there and alcohol was impacting our lives. I recognize this was not good thinking and I am working on quieting that voice.

I think it's peaks and vallys. Sometimes the meetings help, mostly when I am not in crisis. But other times I feel just as alone and like the only one who doesn't understand what everyone else does in the room. I am still glad I go, but there are times when I leave a meeting and feel worse. Maybe because when I leave I am alone again and have to meander through the world without that support vest. I have therapy tomorrow and then another meeting today. It doesn't help that I tend to get some not so great emotional lows around my monthly cycle. Kind of takes what already is there but intensifies it.

I am going to be with family tonight and for the rest of the week so I think it will help. Too much alone time has not been good for me.

Smarie78

Molesting an unconscious woman and feeling her breasts is a bit different than a light tap on the shoulder of someone sleeping on a dirty cold street to let them know there is food and hot coffee if they should want it. This is apples and oranges. As another poster said there is no hard and fast rule.

Did you also happen to see the recent study of how many women die each year because others are afraid to perform CPR in fear of touching breasts? Would you touch a person who was choking or is it
"keep your hands to yourself" still? I am simply saying that you cannot apply that same logic you are using in all situations of human interaction.

seek

I am sorry you are suffering - it is very challenging when you don't know where they are or what they are doing . . . and as you said, your monthly cycle makes you more sensitive.

Take extra good care of yourself - sounds like you are doing self-care and if your family is comforting, it is good that you will have that support.

Each person IS on their own path - what I tell myself in these circumstances is that it's not a freak accident that is happening - that the person has orchestrated it - so on some level they want it - even if it is horrible and terrible for us to witness or be a party to - just knowing about self-destruction is soul-shattering.

Hope you can find some solace.