PlayStation4

I went on a 2 and a half week bender after 7 months sober, I'm disgusted disappointed and ashamed, I broke my parents hearts and put drink in front of my baby boy every day, it took me to places in my head I never knew existed, I don't think I enjoyed 1 day out of it all, any money I set aside in the 7 months is gone plus more I borrowed, my aftercare plan is gone , I'm here now detoxing feeling like crap, I know it's one day at a time but when I had a bit of time under my belt it's hard to start again, can't believe I'm back to day 1, I was completely powerless over it and took off to the pub every morning after promising the night before I was finished, no one believes a word I say anymore, sorry for going on every one

everyone on

Anna

I'm sorry and I understand how miserable you feel right now.

But, you did it before and you can do it again now.

How did you stay sober for 7 months? Take a look at your recovery plan, and see if there is something you can add to help you start again.

Rubaduck

Hi there. I'm on Day 1 and feel absolutely miserable. But tomorrow will be Day 2. Which will be a little bit further away from it all. Please join me on getting away from this.

Good luck.

Dee74

Welcome back PS4

Think about what yo need to add to go from 7 months to forever and then.. just do it man

D

SimplyFree

I’m sorry that happened. We all know there is only one thing to do. Renew your commitment and strengthen your plan. Even though your sobriety date changed, you can still press on to having a good year. You have 7 sober months in the last 12 month. Press on till you have 11 + months in the last 12. Even though it wasn’t perfect. It still is valuable. Beats another year of drinking ourselves into oblivion. Stay strong, stay sober.

Meraviglioso

Hi there, good to see you back for another go. I too recently relapsed after just nearly making it to six months and I completely understand those feelings of despair and anger at yourself. I was an absolute wreck, I didn't want to go on, but I am so glad I pushed through and made it through those first few days. I feel abundantly stronger this time. You can come back from this. You need to get very serious about looking for any holes you had in your plan, evaluating what led you to relapse this time and work on finding a solution for that. It is time to get very, very serious. I also really understand the disappointment of your loved ones. I had to face that head on too. People around me were over the top freaking out. Just completely out of control in my opinion. It made me feel even more out of control. But I can't blame them, I can't. I still have my parents calling me multiple times a day which is starting to really drive me crazy, but I know they are only doing it because they care. I just feel very sorry that they are so worried and stressed all the time. My ex, the father of my children, is treating me like absolute dirt, he doesn't trust me and is constantly threatening me over this relapse. Threatening legal action with the kids, stuff like that. It is painful and actually quite triggers me, doesn't help at all, but again, I do understand where he is coming from.

Be kind to yourself and make sure you realise how much you learned in seven months. Use that knowledge and experience as a building block to make this stop your last stop.

theVman31

Welcome back PS4.
A chara,
Vinny

tomsteve

glad ya made it back, ps4.
imo, the feelings of disgust,remorse, and guilt can be good things for an active alcoholic. it seems to drive many to permanent sobriety.

tossin out the ass kikin machine and getting into the action of recovery ks gonna help ya tremendously to love yourself again and repair the damage.

keep comin back!

Awake61

Welcome back and good for you on coming here.

DangerZone

I'd make sure you read this every day so you can remind yourself how you will feel the next day if you ever feel tempted to relapse again.

PlayStation4

Thanks for the support guys, just came out of an aa meeting and nearly went to the off license, turned around again and came home, just about survival now again for the day, the disease is rampant inside in me again today, I’ve my boy with me now only for that there is a good chance I’d be drinking to be honest, frozen shaking and obsessed with the thought of drink, pure insanity, herself said we go to the cinema tonight, might do that if we can get babysitter

Divijata

I know how you feel. Similar situation.

I'd not drunk or done coke since Christmas until near the end of September. Nearly nine months......

---and then a month or more of reckless binging, swearing off both, reckless binging, swearing off both, reckless binging....

It's amazing the damage that can be done in a short space of time. Finances damaged, health damaged, relationships damaged.

I was under this delusion. "If I quit alcohol for x amount of time and work on (insert goals), eventually I'll go back to moderate drinking and the idea of drugs will be gone from my brain"

Kind of realizing I've a very addictive personality and I'm all or nothing. Probably be a better idea to use that to my advantage and focus on being addictive to things that will enhance my life and happiness.

Lot of damage done now for you and I. However, both of us have seen in the previous months of sobriety how little by little and with patience, we can recuperate so so much. don't you think?

I suppose we have to accept what's happened and try to extract the lessons from the experience to move forward more knowledgable.

What lessons can you extract from the experience that will make you stronger and more wise in sobriety going forward?

PlayStation4

Divijata you just told me my own story, everything you said is exactly where I am now, finances health relationships it’s all there, thanks

PlayStation4

rubaduck we are in the very same situation, I wish you the best of luck

PlayStation4

rubaduck we are in the very same situation, I wish you the best of luck

LuluBread

Don't beat yourself up over this. As SimpleFree said, you've got a few more months left in the year to add to your total sobriety months of the year. I'm sitting here looking at boxes stacked in my living room for weeks now. If I was sober a month ago, this messed up situation I'm in wouldn't have happened. Good thing is that I'm back on 11th day sober....and we can all ride this out together.

Angie247

I was there just a few months ago. I relapsed at my 7th month of sobriety and in my case, I did about a month of binge drinking. My parents were worried sick about me, and I have a 9 year old son who is everything to me. My detox was so bad, I should have gone to the hospital because it was horrible for 48 hours. II felt so horrible about myself but I did something that I hadn't done seriously before, I started going to meetings and made friends at AA. I know it isn't for everyone but in this case it really saved my life to hear people who understood, who knows what it is like. Another thing that worked for me was going to an outpatient program with people who had addictions too. I took it one day at a time and now, I am at almost 5 months. I have a sponsor and I've met so many wonderful people through AA. We're all here for you. Also, I have to tell you I love your username as the PS4 has helped me when I have cravings. :

least

I hope you can use our support, as well as in real life, to get sober for good. I relapsed after six months sober and vowed never to drink again, and I'm coming up on 8 yrs sober soon, so it can be done.

anxiousrock

I find AA helps so much. When I had meetings to do I felt the support they offered.
I stopped going and thought I’d be able to keep being sober. But I couldn’t do it without AA and relapsed. Now I’m going to be going to meetings again.