Berrybean

The thing is, as an alcoholic our AV's are always lurking in the background waiting for the opportunity to chuck in a thought of drinking. BUT, here's what we have learnt. We don't have to ACT on that first thought. That was our old thinking and behaviour. Nowadays we don't have to be puppets to those thoughts. We can just hear them and decide not to, and wait instead for the more rational 2nd or 3rd thought - or come here and ask others for theirs.

Yes, the old AV is still there (because we are still, when it comes down to it, alcoholics. But it doesn't run the show any more. Keep calm and don't pick up the first drink.

Why not rock up to a couple of meetings before you're left your own devices. That way it will be easier to go along when you're on your own, preferably BEFORE you 'need' to. Make a plan so that you're taking action rather than relying on re-action.

BB

Stronger2017

I’m not sure if I’m working the next day but I’ll definitely make sure I plan something enjoyable. A lot of 📺 and some tasty snacks sounds great.

Stronger2017

Thanks so much everyone for all the helpful advice. The drinking thoughts I had before my last relapse were intense and just got worse as the home alone weekend approached. When I got sober this time I wanted it to de different and I’ve been working hard on my sobriety to make sure it’s a success. The drinking thoughts that crop up from time to time are just thoughts as people rightly point out, and if I act on them my life will, quite simply, get worse - which is something I don’t want.

Anyway, this is day 43 sober and I think I’m in a reasonable place. I’m happier and more aware than ever that the sober me is what I want and I will do whatever it takes to achieve it.

Thanks again for your time🙏 I’ll make sure to post an update on the day. (I’m actually quite looking forward to it now😁.)

DangerZone

Like others have said come up with a plan. Make sure you stay busy and are doing something you enjoy or that will keep you active and away from drinking.. As long as you do that I think you will be fine..

Besides if you drank you know you'd regret it the next day. Why would you do something you know you'll regret? Don't let that AV trick you. It will always try, do not let it. It does not have your best interests at heart. It Is just the drug trying to play tricks on you.

hpdw

Hi Stronger , you and I close in sober time and have shared a bit on here in PM .
For the sake of a few drinks ON YOUR OWN feeling pissed off after the first sip is not what you want and you know that . I drank alone often and its the saddest loneliest place to be in the world and what have you gained when the family come back even if they don't know you relapsed ? I,ll tell you , a big load of remorse and days of feeling like crap . Also who,s to say you could even stop before they get back .
I hope you wont entertain any more of this way of thinking , please !!

tomsteve

g'morning, STRONGER. hope yer thinkin is better this morning.

reading your replies, it appears ya have a thought that an empty house is a free pass to drink maybe? you can drink without people knowing and/or getting upset about it? "secret" drinking?

Stronger2017

Hi Tom, that’s what happened a few years ago but I’ve worked through the AV thing and I think I’m in a better place now to tackle this kind of problem. I’m actually quite looking forward to chilling at home now. I’ve got a plan for how I’ll spend my time and I also have a support network in place should I need it. TBH I think it’s going to be okay 😀 Thanks again for the concern. SR is a truly great place!

Stronger2017

I started this thread a couple of weeks ago and tonight is the night. I’m not drinking 😀 The evening has actually turned out to be a decent reflective experience in many ways. I also enjoyed a good steak! I’ll now have a bath and an early night. Thanks again for the support everyone. Goodnight.

Ariesagain

Dee74

Yep, you can do this

D

anxiousrock

Definitely plan to go to an AA meeting or 2. Go out for coffee or nachos with a friend.
Do pizza and a movie.

Sadly for me I try to satisfy myself with food rather than drink 😂

charliesworld

OMG stronger I could have written that myself. I've had 2 nights in the last month where my OH has been away. First was easy as it was so soon after my relapse but the second a different thing. I could have written your post myself. My relapse was down to him being away. It was the same thing you experienced, I looked forward to it for a full week before he went but then couldn't stop once I'd started.

My last success, I'd made the decision I wasn't going to drink but it didn't stop the "well I could and no-one will know" thoughts popping up. The night itself I had a wobble for about an hour but other than that it was a nice evening. Being home alone is a good chance to get some headspace and enjoy the peace. I am slowly replacing that learned behaviour that home alone means wine. Not drinking when I have the opportunity of no-one knowing has been my biggest hurdle and I know there's a few more hairy moments to get through before that one gets easier.