Anxiety and Shame
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 24
Anxiety and Shame
By far the worst part...
I feel like everyone around me is mad and disappointed even though they don't know exactly what is going on. Or maybe they do and just don't want to support me through it- even worse.
Thinking about all the things you've done or said and some you can't remember.. Just terrible..so ashamed that is not me as a person at all.
I know it will improve with time but today it feels like the worst thing in the world .. I wish the days would go by faster ...
I feel like everyone around me is mad and disappointed even though they don't know exactly what is going on. Or maybe they do and just don't want to support me through it- even worse.
Thinking about all the things you've done or said and some you can't remember.. Just terrible..so ashamed that is not me as a person at all.
I know it will improve with time but today it feels like the worst thing in the world .. I wish the days would go by faster ...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
hmmm I'm curious if that isn't a part of the withdrawl kicking in?
I mention that if only because I haven't had a drink in 6 days and I get social anxiety without the booze.
Shame and anxiety are two words I can certainly resonate with. I doubt you're alone in the slightest, if that helps at all
I mention that if only because I haven't had a drink in 6 days and I get social anxiety without the booze.
Shame and anxiety are two words I can certainly resonate with. I doubt you're alone in the slightest, if that helps at all
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
just keep your side of the street clean and keep charging forward. Many felt i was a piece of crap still after i got sober. and heck some still do. Not much i can do but keep my stuff in order etc...
its like sometimes you've done all you can and you realize some are just assholes.
its worth it in time tho. hang in there.
its like sometimes you've done all you can and you realize some are just assholes.
its worth it in time tho. hang in there.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
I think most if not all of us have been where you're at, DD931. I remember the anxiety, shame, and remorse in the beginning was awful for me and led me to a great deal of self hate.
Here's what helped: I learned that I can't change the past, so it's absolutely useless wallowing in it. If I keep replaying the past in my head, I'm of no use to other people.
What I can do, is CHANGE. Constantly apologizing and saying "I'm sorry" just won't cut it unless my actions going forward change. But that means to go easy on myself because change is often two steps forward and one step backward. The key is to keep going....
I had to give up thinking and worrying about what everyone and their brother thought of me, and just focus on changing my thinking, behavior, and actions.
I had to stop looking for others to support me, because everyone is going through some sort of sh*t in their lives, whether they look like they are or not. I had to figure out how to pull myself up by my bootstraps, brush myself off, and get moving on my recovery journey.
I was also told, "you can look back, but don't stare."
I was taught to LEARN from the lessons of my behavior, thoughts, and actions. I never learned that before. My m.o. was always to make the same mistakes, not know why, and then beat myself up to a pulp over it in a wallow of self-pity and self-hate. It got me nowhere. I was just spinning my wheels and never moved an inch to learn and grow until my sponsor reached out her hand and I took it and it got me out of my hole. The more I dug, the deeper I had gotten into. I won't say that I had her "support". What I did have, was her guidance in how to change my thinking, behavior, and reactions. The step work I did helped me to learn and grow instead of repeating the same mistakes and wallowing.
I think most of us acted like people who we weren't. That's unfortunately the nature of the beat of alcoholism. But there's hope. The more you work on your recovery, the more you will grow into your authentic self and stop being someone you are not and never truly was. Our sick versions of ourselves will cease.
Try to look at things from a positive light--that you are so excited to be working on your recovery now and will be leaving behind the person you were, to become the person you were meant to be. :-)
Be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. You can do this!
Here's what helped: I learned that I can't change the past, so it's absolutely useless wallowing in it. If I keep replaying the past in my head, I'm of no use to other people.
What I can do, is CHANGE. Constantly apologizing and saying "I'm sorry" just won't cut it unless my actions going forward change. But that means to go easy on myself because change is often two steps forward and one step backward. The key is to keep going....
I had to give up thinking and worrying about what everyone and their brother thought of me, and just focus on changing my thinking, behavior, and actions.
I had to stop looking for others to support me, because everyone is going through some sort of sh*t in their lives, whether they look like they are or not. I had to figure out how to pull myself up by my bootstraps, brush myself off, and get moving on my recovery journey.
I was also told, "you can look back, but don't stare."
I was taught to LEARN from the lessons of my behavior, thoughts, and actions. I never learned that before. My m.o. was always to make the same mistakes, not know why, and then beat myself up to a pulp over it in a wallow of self-pity and self-hate. It got me nowhere. I was just spinning my wheels and never moved an inch to learn and grow until my sponsor reached out her hand and I took it and it got me out of my hole. The more I dug, the deeper I had gotten into. I won't say that I had her "support". What I did have, was her guidance in how to change my thinking, behavior, and reactions. The step work I did helped me to learn and grow instead of repeating the same mistakes and wallowing.
I think most of us acted like people who we weren't. That's unfortunately the nature of the beat of alcoholism. But there's hope. The more you work on your recovery, the more you will grow into your authentic self and stop being someone you are not and never truly was. Our sick versions of ourselves will cease.
Try to look at things from a positive light--that you are so excited to be working on your recovery now and will be leaving behind the person you were, to become the person you were meant to be. :-)
Be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. You can do this!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy 
Exactly how I feel today. Life feels pointless because I can't see the light at the top of the hole I dug for myself. You're not alone.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
Exactly how I feel today. Life feels pointless because I can't see the light at the top of the hole I dug for myself. You're not alone.
how are things today DD?
D
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