LovePeaceSushi

My AH is a very controlling & paranoid person. There is mental illness on his dad's side, so I think it comes from there and then alcohol just exacerbates it. He also suffers from a rare genetic condition that has given him insecurities. He's very handsome & successful - trust me....he gets more attention from the opposite sex than I do.

His drinking has reached a precipice and our marriage is not good. In the past 12 months, he's accused me of sleeping with his BIL, the meth-head whose parents bought him a house 2 doors down, a fast food employee, and God knows who else. Ya'll don't know me, but I'm a HUGE introvert. I don't even go into the grocery store anymore now that they bring it out to my car! So, suffice to say....I am faithful and not a ho.

Last week my husband had an episode where he got fall-down drunk and he fell face down into our water garden. If I hadn't been here, he would have drowned in less than 2 feet of water because he was so wasted he couldn't get himself out of the water. I thought that would be his literal "rock bottom"....a place that I've thought he's hit before. It's not, though. He's still drinking.

He informed me today that he's tired of being treated like a baby by his parents and by me. To exert his manhood, he's running away to go see a football game 3 hours away and will be gone for the weekend. Does anyone else see the humor in this?

Anyways, I'm actually fine with that. My daughter will be with her bio dad this weekend, so I will have the HOUSE TO MYSELF! I can't even remember the last time I had alone time like that. I'm kind of excited. (Not that I plan on doing anything) I am just looking forward to the peace. I actually plan on working on my online course so I can be that much closer to being able to support myself someday. Well, that, and I have my first Al-Anon meeting on Sunday.

My AH will probably end up calling multiple times just to see what I'm doing. Part of me wants to just ignore him and then part of me doesn't think that's responsible.

Smarie78

The thing that jumped out to me were the cheating accusations. This is something to this day I get from Abf. I am and have always been a very faithful woman, but he has accused me of cheating numerous times. It tends to be a sign that they themselves are projecting of their own cheating. I am not trying to say that is what he is doing, but accusing you of cheating and then taking off for three days is a little suspect. Regardless, it sounds like you are comfortable just getting some peace and serenity for yourself this weekend. I too am not seeing the Abf this weekend (and hopefully none after if I can keep my strength up) and there is a breath of relief I feel in knowing I won't have to deal with the drama. That I have the whole house to myself. We don't live together but he is often over and spends the night. It's been nice doing my own thing so you will no doubt enjoy it also. If you don't have plans outside of studying, perhaps you can use the weekend to reflect on whether you really want to spend the rest of your life digging your AH out of water gardens. I know that is something that is heavy on my mind as I head into the weekend - do I really want to waste my precious time on someone who has no interest in getting well?

maia1234

Good response smarie!!! You are right.

This is your life ladies and it will only change if you make that happen. Dealing with a child like alcoholic for the rest of your life doesn't sound like fun to me. Enjoy your amazing single life this weekend.

LovePeaceSushi

Thanks, ladies. It was outright WEIRD yesterday. I found myself looking at the clock around 4, just wanting it to be bedtime. It was like cold water thrown in my face: "You don't know how to be alone!"

Today has been different. I'm watching all the movies that my AH won't watch because they are intellectually over his head, hard to follow, "chick flicks", etc. I treated myself to some international cuisine that I love and he doesn't (because it's "too ethnic"), and I'm letting the dog up on the couch. (a BIG NO NO)

Haha - I feel like a rebellious child, myself.

I've decided that for the rest of the football season he needs to go to his games alone. He can drink, not drink, roast in the sun, high-five all the rich a-holes down there that think he's wonderful, and I can sit here and enjoy myself and have some good girl-time with my daughter when she's with me.

This SR website has been a godsend. Ya'll have a good weekend, too!

hearthealth

Keep enjoying the weekend! I have said the best part of my marriage was when he was away.

maia1234

LPS,
I can see the light bulb moments going off in your head. You are understanding that you can have a wonderful life and do the things you want to do. You don't have to care if he is drinking or acting like a jerk. You are not around it to care. This is the start of your "independence". Slowly this empowers you to make some important decsions in your future.

Take your time, enjoy "girl" time and see where it goes..... (enjoy your puppy cuddling on the couch)