Ouch!!! First major craving
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 66
Ouch!!! First major craving
Day 10. First major MAJOR craving. My heart is racing. I can taste what it would taste like. 
Breathe...
Breathe...
This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass...
(Gonna keep saying that 'till it does)
Breathe...
Breathe...
This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass...
(Gonna keep saying that 'till it does)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Way to go PJ.....reach out for help....we are here. And you have a sense of humor while going through it. Someone here wrote that you have to kick, scream and claw for your early sobriety.....you are worth it!
2 detoxes down, 0 to go
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 284
Try changing your scenery and if possible getting some exercise. Get outside and run or walk or do anything but think about the craving. It will pass. They always pass. All you have to do is not drink until it does. Let it go.
Breath Deep 
You can "ride" it out ..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 66
Thanks guys. Don't know why today of all days. The past 10 days, if I got a craving, I would work to identify my feelings. What was going on really? That helped. I could see where when certain issues came up, I would normally immediately turn to drink. This one's different. Nothing is special about today or right now. A little of the normal evening stress of: make dinner, serve dinner, clean up dinner, take shower, set out everything for work tomorrow, etc. (ok so yes that's super stressful) but still, I've had 9 nights of that without feeling this unexplainable, just...craving.
Hmm?? Maybe once it passes, I'll have some 20/20 hindsight. Thanks for your support everyone. It's saving me right now!
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...
Hmm?? Maybe once it passes, I'll have some 20/20 hindsight. Thanks for your support everyone. It's saving me right now!
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Sometimes there no reason behind it PJ....
Have you seen this thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
Have you seen this thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
PJ - I actually had my greatest urge yesterday. In fact called my sponsor and we spoke for roughly an hour. We related and talking out loud, I was able to hear what I was saying, which caused my brain to understand the absurdity of the adiction.
I am on day 10 - swam 800M in the pool this AM and feel good. Nights are the worst. I see that my life will never be the same and that makes me sad. as I really enjoyed it. I did not loose anything house, job, marriage. I was highly functional but within those infrequent dark moments I felt I was playing Russian roulette, which is why I stopped.
I am on day 10 - swam 800M in the pool this AM and feel good. Nights are the worst. I see that my life will never be the same and that makes me sad. as I really enjoyed it. I did not loose anything house, job, marriage. I was highly functional but within those infrequent dark moments I felt I was playing Russian roulette, which is why I stopped.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
PJ - I actually had my greatest urge yesterday. In fact called my sponsor and we spoke for roughly an hour. We related and talking out loud, I was able to hear what I was saying, which caused my brain to understand the absurdity of the adiction.
I am on day 10 - swam 800M in the pool this AM and feel good. Nights are the worst. I see that my life will never be the same and that makes me sad. as I really enjoyed it. I did not loose anything house, job, marriage. I was highly functional but within those infrequent dark moments I felt I was playing Russian roulette, which is why I stopped.
I am on day 10 - swam 800M in the pool this AM and feel good. Nights are the worst. I see that my life will never be the same and that makes me sad. as I really enjoyed it. I did not loose anything house, job, marriage. I was highly functional but within those infrequent dark moments I felt I was playing Russian roulette, which is why I stopped.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 66
Thanks jdooner. I feel the same. Hadn't had any real negative consequences (yet) either so that makes it hard. But, I'm committed for now at least. I want to see what positive changes come to my spirit, what clarity of mind will do for me, what physical fitness goals I can accomplish with 1 month? 3 months? A year? Of sobriety.
Here's to realizing our full potential!
Here's to realizing our full potential!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Funny, you sound like my wife - she is not committing to the totality of sobriety but seeing the changes and how affects her. The AA thing makes it a bit more permanent in terms of surrenddering to your addictions and a higher power - knowing you cannot ever drink again. I am struggling with this and I think its why its making this much more difficult - I am being tortued by this move. 99% of the time I was fine then that last 1% I was out of control and involved in some scary stuff + drugs started to creep in X, blow, ritalin, adorall.
I am down 6lbs in 10 days and pysically getting back on the horse. I am sure that my continued sobriety will lead to a healthier fitter body and mind. I am struggling with the fact that I am not sure I will enjoy life the same. I enjoyed a glass or two of nice wine at dinner. One or two or even three or four Vodka and diet sprites or margarittas on my patio while grilling and wathcing the kids run around our yard. Having a bender at home with my wife and dancing a talking till 3 in the morning - all of this is appealing and don't want to give it up.
What I can't conitnue is doing lines off of some random girl in a strip club or driving after a few at 180mph, which is why I am reevaluating my life.
I am down 6lbs in 10 days and pysically getting back on the horse. I am sure that my continued sobriety will lead to a healthier fitter body and mind. I am struggling with the fact that I am not sure I will enjoy life the same. I enjoyed a glass or two of nice wine at dinner. One or two or even three or four Vodka and diet sprites or margarittas on my patio while grilling and wathcing the kids run around our yard. Having a bender at home with my wife and dancing a talking till 3 in the morning - all of this is appealing and don't want to give it up.
What I can't conitnue is doing lines off of some random girl in a strip club or driving after a few at 180mph, which is why I am reevaluating my life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 66
Lol jdooner, I knew someone would call me out on not being totally committed. The thing is, I am 100% certain that I need a good loooong while before I even think about drinking again. But, until 11 days ago, the idea of complete abstinence had never ever occurred to me. Who does that?! I mean sure the odd friend at church or my one friend and my one uncle who went through AA a million years ago but other than that I don't know anyone who absolutely never drinks. So, I need some time to think about that. I want to think about it though after I've cleared my head, worked through underlying issues, seen the positive physical results. THEN, I can make a clear headed decision where to go from there. I actually considered starting a new thread on this. Do you have to fail at moderation a few times before considering abstinence?
I hear ya on the fun parts. Dancing with my hubby till 3am was fun! But, when I got honest with myself. Most of the time we didn't talk, laugh, and dance. Mostly we were in a rut of watching TV and falling asleep on the couch. BORING! I'd rather dance around, talk, laugh, and play games sober. (Although this one's tricky since the hubs kinda needs that alcohol in order to come out of his shell. Me? I think I'm a blast either way! Lol
I hear ya on the fun parts. Dancing with my hubby till 3am was fun! But, when I got honest with myself. Most of the time we didn't talk, laugh, and dance. Mostly we were in a rut of watching TV and falling asleep on the couch. BORING! I'd rather dance around, talk, laugh, and play games sober. (Although this one's tricky since the hubs kinda needs that alcohol in order to come out of his shell. Me? I think I'm a blast either way! Lol
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