I am sorry for being me
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Don:
This forum was NOT created because of you, or frieto or any individual.
I'm NOT a part of AA; I don't think it's a cult, (rediculous idea!); and you and I know each other well enough for me to call you on your stuff.
Don, MG has a good point. Your having some type of feeling that SR revolves around you. It doesn't.
You served your country. For that, you should be proud. To hell with what others say. You know you did your best at the time. That's all we can do. Ever.
But, to leave SR because there's a new forum is absurd! You didn't leave when we created the spirituality forum; the cafe; the follies. If you leave over this, you are only biting off your nose to spite your face. Because, this forum is NOT about YOU.
And it never was.
I love you Don. I hope you are well. Most importantly, I hope you will sleep on this idea and realize that leaving SR is not what you want to do.
You're family, Don. Hang in, even in the tough times. That's what famlies do.
Shalom!
This forum was NOT created because of you, or frieto or any individual.
I'm NOT a part of AA; I don't think it's a cult, (rediculous idea!); and you and I know each other well enough for me to call you on your stuff.
Don, MG has a good point. Your having some type of feeling that SR revolves around you. It doesn't.
You served your country. For that, you should be proud. To hell with what others say. You know you did your best at the time. That's all we can do. Ever.
But, to leave SR because there's a new forum is absurd! You didn't leave when we created the spirituality forum; the cafe; the follies. If you leave over this, you are only biting off your nose to spite your face. Because, this forum is NOT about YOU.
And it never was.
I love you Don. I hope you are well. Most importantly, I hope you will sleep on this idea and realize that leaving SR is not what you want to do.
You're family, Don. Hang in, even in the tough times. That's what famlies do.
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Hi,when the egos,divide and seprate,each of us,i dont take it personally,myself.The egos,have many reasons to keep folks apart.Thats the egos job,ive often heard.To divide/seprate.It doesnt matter to me.Thats their issue,i dont own it.I join,and in fellowship,regardless,and will share,with all.How others feel about this,well,what can i say?...smile.And yupper when,im, sharring i always mention God.For this is my experience.
Don my advice,and i dont give out much advice,is be who you are,everywhere you go.If folks shut ya out,that has everything to do with them,their issues,and not you.Live and let live.
Don my advice,and i dont give out much advice,is be who you are,everywhere you go.If folks shut ya out,that has everything to do with them,their issues,and not you.Live and let live.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Don,i just wanted to add if i may.I saw a show a few years back,,and the girl that was running down the road,with no clothes,was on it.Also was the man,who flew over the area,and let the bombs go down,thinking as he said,that there were no people,in that area.This was what they were told,only to find,that there were lots of folks,living in that area.Now many years later,both the man,and the girl,who is a grown women were both on this talk show.Don,she said,that she has forgiven him.She told him what her life is like today.Going to school,she,s healthy,happy.And she could see that he had not forgiven himself.And she asked him to.She said its over,all of it.All the regrets,of Vietnam,we will learn from them.Can change nothing about what has happened.We learn.She told him to go on with life.And again she told him,that she forgave him.And that she will pray for him.Im from the ole school.I remember Vietnam.All the country were encourging the troops to go there to war,.Thats why you were there.People forgot ,when you came back,that they sent you there.,with all their name-calling.You didnt go on your own free will.Right/wrong,we cant change the past.The girl is living an effective,relativiely happy life today.Surrender all your pain to God.Let God heal,you.
my prayers are with you,.
my prayers are with you,.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Don this forum was not created because of you personally.
Frits thread may have been the calayst for finally opening it but it has long been debated about opening another "alternative views" thread.
Don I believe America has changed since the seventies. Most people do not blame you for what happened in Vietnam anymore. You need to move on from that.
Yes frit did say some hurtful things but then frito is a hurtful person whom I believe carries a lot of hurt inside him too.
As someone who has been been given too much responsibility too early and expected to do horrendous things in the name of freedom ,I understand you may still carry a lot of pain because of that. Don't take fritos pain onto yourself let it pass through you.You take on his hurt and you only become a vessel yourself for more hurt.
Yes SR has expanded and seems a less friendly place today but that is because there are a lot more people around today with "anti" sentiments. Many may not only be "anti this or anti that" but may even be resentful of the opinions of others.
I won't try to discourage you from making your own decisions but you will encounter unkind people wherever you go. At least at SR you know there are some who genuinely care about you and wish you well.
Frits thread may have been the calayst for finally opening it but it has long been debated about opening another "alternative views" thread.
Don I believe America has changed since the seventies. Most people do not blame you for what happened in Vietnam anymore. You need to move on from that.
Yes frit did say some hurtful things but then frito is a hurtful person whom I believe carries a lot of hurt inside him too.
As someone who has been been given too much responsibility too early and expected to do horrendous things in the name of freedom ,I understand you may still carry a lot of pain because of that. Don't take fritos pain onto yourself let it pass through you.You take on his hurt and you only become a vessel yourself for more hurt.
Yes SR has expanded and seems a less friendly place today but that is because there are a lot more people around today with "anti" sentiments. Many may not only be "anti this or anti that" but may even be resentful of the opinions of others.
I won't try to discourage you from making your own decisions but you will encounter unkind people wherever you go. At least at SR you know there are some who genuinely care about you and wish you well.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 780
Hi ((((Don))))
I am hoping that you know I care a great deal for you. Let me go off forum topic and say that I have missed you so much, and glad you are back here.
I honestly admit I don't know what this forum is about, I will have to learn, but I do know that I am learning, and it was like a hammer to the noggin, that:
"One of the highest places you can get to is to be independent of the good opinions of other people"
In other words Don, you have helped many here, including me. I find you an inspiration, a strength that I have not found in other people. Please forgive me if I am forward or out of line here, but...let fritolay go. Some folks just don't know what their "good opinions" do to the sensitive, loving people that we are.
I am also thankful, and you can take this any way you want, that you were in Vietnam. What you experienced was not what any of us would want, but you did. I am indebted to you for it as a fellow human. My connection to you and others who had to endure the horrific conditions of Vietnam, and now Iraq, is bound by love, respect and compassion for what you and others have to experience.
Let go of the "good opinions" of others. Be independent of them.
Now that being said I am going to look up what this forum means. I am kinda dense sometimes...
I am lighting a candle to St Jude for you. I know you like his healing force.
Love you Don.
Wolfie
I am hoping that you know I care a great deal for you. Let me go off forum topic and say that I have missed you so much, and glad you are back here.
I honestly admit I don't know what this forum is about, I will have to learn, but I do know that I am learning, and it was like a hammer to the noggin, that:
"One of the highest places you can get to is to be independent of the good opinions of other people"
In other words Don, you have helped many here, including me. I find you an inspiration, a strength that I have not found in other people. Please forgive me if I am forward or out of line here, but...let fritolay go. Some folks just don't know what their "good opinions" do to the sensitive, loving people that we are.
I am also thankful, and you can take this any way you want, that you were in Vietnam. What you experienced was not what any of us would want, but you did. I am indebted to you for it as a fellow human. My connection to you and others who had to endure the horrific conditions of Vietnam, and now Iraq, is bound by love, respect and compassion for what you and others have to experience.
Let go of the "good opinions" of others. Be independent of them.
Now that being said I am going to look up what this forum means. I am kinda dense sometimes...
I am lighting a candle to St Jude for you. I know you like his healing force.
Love you Don.
Wolfie
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Originally Posted by Don W
I've ecided to add. Seeing how attcking other programs is in style here. I just went through a 30 day program at the Bedford Mass VA Hospital. Along with the AA Groups Smart Recovery puts on a program. They are so anti veteran that the VA dosen't require us to attend. I respect Don s but, he isn't like the person that puts on the program at the V A Hospital. Most Veterans hate him almost as much as Jane Fonda and John Kerry. Don S, are you sure your from the same group?
LOL! My daughter is in the USMC, so I'm sure she'd kick my *ss if she heard me disrespecting veterans or service people at all! If the folks there are unhappy about the SMART facilitators, I'd be happy to provide the address of the main office so they can complain. Seriously.
You are one of my favorite people at SR. So please don't feel excluded from this forum, or that it was in any way directed at you. I've seen you post very useful information from the VA programs, and hope you'll do so here.
Personally I think recovery programs have a lot in common, which we can celebrate, and some things where they differ--which we can talk about.
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Don s,just read your thread, im so sorry for how you feel. I hope you know that its not your fault.!. We can sit there and have all them bad memorys flood back.A smell,seeing someone, lots of things.Forgiving yourself is so important.
That was your job, you were a soilder.! Thats what soilders do.SO please try n push those old memorys away.
I have had some horrided things done to me, n i let it continue for awhile.!
Those meorys come back intermitently.So i need valium unless i carnt cope,trying or even if it was possiable i dont know if thats right for me at this moment.
I think your a Very Valid member of SR.?... I love your threads n so do loads of others... Your an insperation. sorry you feel this way don.
Hugs...
That was your job, you were a soilder.! Thats what soilders do.SO please try n push those old memorys away.
I have had some horrided things done to me, n i let it continue for awhile.!
Those meorys come back intermitently.So i need valium unless i carnt cope,trying or even if it was possiable i dont know if thats right for me at this moment.
I think your a Very Valid member of SR.?... I love your threads n so do loads of others... Your an insperation. sorry you feel this way don.
Hugs...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Don - you are loved here. You are family. Please read through this thread and really listen to what the people here are telling you.
We are not in any way invalidating your feelings, just trying to help you shift your perspective.
All we can do, Don, is love you just the way you are. We want to help and support you.
We are not in any way invalidating your feelings, just trying to help you shift your perspective.
All we can do, Don, is love you just the way you are. We want to help and support you.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Don,
You've never bothered me. Even if you had, that would be my problem! As long as I've been here, I've never seen you offer anything but kindness and compassion. I hope you stick around.
Paul
You've never bothered me. Even if you had, that would be my problem! As long as I've been here, I've never seen you offer anything but kindness and compassion. I hope you stick around.
Paul
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
Don I have the upmost respect for you and I too love you and would like that you would stay.
You have helped me so much in the past, helped lots of people even when you were in so much anguish and pain.
THANK YOU Annie
You have helped me so much in the past, helped lots of people even when you were in so much anguish and pain.
THANK YOU Annie
Im Ok - youre OK
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 250
Hey Don!!
We havent 'spoken' lately but I always think of you as oneof my favorite people on SR and still have a couple of your old posts from 2 years back on my noticeboard of inspirations.
I hope you dont leave Don....this place would be the poorer for your loss.
Its easy to misiterpret things on here, kind of snipets of conversation hanging in cyberspace...but I hope you can see from mine and others posts that you are loved and respected here.
Im so sorry that you are still going through the hell of vietnam....makesme want to reach out and hug you...I just dont know how you cure that kind of pain, I really dont. With love I guess.There is still alot of that here for you Don, I hope you can see that (((((((((((((Don)))))))))))))))) xxxxx clanc
We havent 'spoken' lately but I always think of you as oneof my favorite people on SR and still have a couple of your old posts from 2 years back on my noticeboard of inspirations.
I hope you dont leave Don....this place would be the poorer for your loss.
Its easy to misiterpret things on here, kind of snipets of conversation hanging in cyberspace...but I hope you can see from mine and others posts that you are loved and respected here.
Im so sorry that you are still going through the hell of vietnam....makesme want to reach out and hug you...I just dont know how you cure that kind of pain, I really dont. With love I guess.There is still alot of that here for you Don, I hope you can see that (((((((((((((Don)))))))))))))))) xxxxx clanc
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Wow! I really don't understand what happened here. I read the Frito thread and yes I was offended, but that was a while ago and have let it go since then. I hate to see you go over something like this Don, for any reason for that matter. I'm afraid you are going to isolate yourself Don. We all know that is not good. Your mind frame doesn't sound real solid right now. I'm worried about you.
I hope you stay in touch. We do need you here. I take things for what they are worth and at face value. There is a lot of nonsense and venom spewed here at times. You have a lot to offer others in sharing your experience strength and hope. Those who come to spread vile and rude comments, I don't take seriously. They really don't want help or to help others. You do and can. Please keep that in mind.
I hope you stay in touch. We do need you here. I take things for what they are worth and at face value. There is a lot of nonsense and venom spewed here at times. You have a lot to offer others in sharing your experience strength and hope. Those who come to spread vile and rude comments, I don't take seriously. They really don't want help or to help others. You do and can. Please keep that in mind.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northen Europe and France
Posts: 1,657
Don,
I didnīt see the thread on alcoholism, but I looked at it briefly after reading this thread.
Please donīt leave. You have been inspiration for me as well and your posts have helped me. You have made a difference. This is what counts.
I sent you a PM.
Personally I find this new forum is a great idea! It wasnīt here when I was active two years back and I would have wanted it then. I was raised by an agnostic and a protestant, but the rest of the family is catholic. Can you imagine?
My older brother is an agnostic as well and was married to a bouddhist. One of my best friend is a bouddhist and I favor all of these aspects in moderation (!)
For me, nature works probably best! You posted those pictures in this other forum and it helped so much when I was feeling low.
Love and light,
I didnīt see the thread on alcoholism, but I looked at it briefly after reading this thread.
Please donīt leave. You have been inspiration for me as well and your posts have helped me. You have made a difference. This is what counts.
I sent you a PM.
Personally I find this new forum is a great idea! It wasnīt here when I was active two years back and I would have wanted it then. I was raised by an agnostic and a protestant, but the rest of the family is catholic. Can you imagine?
My older brother is an agnostic as well and was married to a bouddhist. One of my best friend is a bouddhist and I favor all of these aspects in moderation (!)
For me, nature works probably best! You posted those pictures in this other forum and it helped so much when I was feeling low.
Love and light,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Don W,
I can only speak for myself but what I would love most is for you to take part here. 'Secular' covers a ton of stuff from advice on dealing with conflict in relationships to research into the biology of the brain!!
I know for me it feels like a safe place because I'm quite careful how I deal with being an aitheist in other parts of the forum. I still go there, I still take part (ehem-just look at the post count!!), but I end up trying to be so very careful and yet not paint a false impression either. Here it's different - I can be who I am and know it is the right place for that - just as there are whole forums on SR to discuss faith.
I guess it makes me feel safe too knowing that just as I wouldn't barge into 'Christians in Recovery' with a ton of argument for aitheism, it's also expected here that the same respect is shown for our beliefs ('cos we have lots of them I think).
I hope more than anything this place can be a useful addition for you too. A bit like I love having my own house but I also stubbornly refuse to have the door locked or for my friends not to have keys for if I'm out. It may seem a very funny way of living to some but it matters to me and makes me happy. It's still our house, our home, no booze, no racism, no bullying but I like for it to be open.
I can only speak for myself but what I would love most is for you to take part here. 'Secular' covers a ton of stuff from advice on dealing with conflict in relationships to research into the biology of the brain!!
I know for me it feels like a safe place because I'm quite careful how I deal with being an aitheist in other parts of the forum. I still go there, I still take part (ehem-just look at the post count!!), but I end up trying to be so very careful and yet not paint a false impression either. Here it's different - I can be who I am and know it is the right place for that - just as there are whole forums on SR to discuss faith.
I guess it makes me feel safe too knowing that just as I wouldn't barge into 'Christians in Recovery' with a ton of argument for aitheism, it's also expected here that the same respect is shown for our beliefs ('cos we have lots of them I think).
I hope more than anything this place can be a useful addition for you too. A bit like I love having my own house but I also stubbornly refuse to have the door locked or for my friends not to have keys for if I'm out. It may seem a very funny way of living to some but it matters to me and makes me happy. It's still our house, our home, no booze, no racism, no bullying but I like for it to be open.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Roseville, Ca
Posts: 35
Quote:
Having a secular forum was a new idea with the intentions of creating a place for all our recovery programs that had a secular view of recovery.
MG said:
"I see I worded that wrong. This forum is a fourm for all members with a secular view point in any recovery program."
Secular is the religion of this forum (and other secular programs) similar to GOD is the religion of AA imo. Recovery should focus on recovery and not be censored in anyway, it should be inclusive of everyone, believers, non believers and everything in between.
Nothing we can say or do can make someone drink/use again, it's a choice only they can do that. What somebody may find offensive may just be what someone else needs to hear.
Having a secular forum was a new idea with the intentions of creating a place for all our recovery programs that had a secular view of recovery.
MG said:
"I see I worded that wrong. This forum is a fourm for all members with a secular view point in any recovery program."
Secular is the religion of this forum (and other secular programs) similar to GOD is the religion of AA imo. Recovery should focus on recovery and not be censored in anyway, it should be inclusive of everyone, believers, non believers and everything in between.
Nothing we can say or do can make someone drink/use again, it's a choice only they can do that. What somebody may find offensive may just be what someone else needs to hear.
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