No Matter What
 

When I made my Big Plan, I had scenarios in my head that might cause me to pick up. Things like the death of a loved one, bad breakups, beautiful sunsets, tropical vacations, bad news, good news, just for the hell of it....you know, the usual laundry list of things that have caused people to relapse.

Now never in all my imaginings did I think I'd be living through a pandemic and in a lock down none-the-less.

And I'm still sober. Big Plan is still in place.

How about everyone else?

CF

no matter what seems to work for me too Calicofish :)

D

I made my Big Plan about 3 1/2 years ago after failing using other methods. I’ve been happily abstinent ever since.

I thank God that I decided on permanent abstinence before these lockdowns. I would’ve been in DEEP trouble living alone & stuck at home all day. I went through a few weeks of no work, stuck at home all day with not much to do. Since I will never drink again and never change my mind, there was no problem.

I feel for those still struggling and hope they will find their way to this subforum so we can help guide them to permanent abstinence.

My Big Plan has kept me sober for over 8 years now.:nym

My Big Plan has kept me sober for well over 5 years (will be 6 at end of Feb). There has certainly been times when I thought...hmmm...a shot (or 4) of rye would certainly "help" at this time and then I'd remind myself..."you don't drink, and you won't change your mind, NO MATTER WHAT".
It's really so simple (not easy) but simple.

I have yet to make this BIG PLAN. It does seem like it is working for many people. Is it just as simple as telling yourself (brain) that you will never drink again or is there some sort of worksheet that I need to download?

I say to myself "I don't drink" or " Play the tape, Mizz" or the latest " If you did drink you would have more anxiety and more issues around anxiety so WINE is not an option"

So, Im ready to make a big plan.

Hi Mizz P. There is some information out there on Rational Recovery, which is where the Big Plan originated. The essence, the way I see it, is instead of saying I will not drink today, which leaves the door open for future drinking, you make a permanent decision on total abstinence.
The Big Plan is thus:

I do not drink. I will never change my mind. No Matter What.

You can get bogged down in all the chatter about addictive voice and wondering "why" you can't be normal. For me - I found that I just accept that drinking is off the table for me. Why? I don't care why anymore. It's just not part of my life. There is no future drinking plans in my life. By saying "no matter what" there is no wiggle room for any excuse to pick up.

It works for me. And sure there are times when the thought of drink enters me mind and I reply with "I do not drink. I will never change my mind, no matter what." And then a moment later the urge passes and I go...oh yeah, that was a silly thought about drinking.

I used to go on (to myself) oh woe is me. Why can't I drink like a normal person? It's not fair. Blah, blah, blah. Well, it's just the way I'm built. It doesn't matter what went in my past, I am not going to drink over it. I may eat over it :-) but at least I'm not drinking. I never made a phone call after eating a cheesecake.
CF

Calico-
Thank you for that explanation. "I don't drink and I will never change my mind" ...
Makes sense to me. I also have never made a phone call after eating a cheesecake....;)

Have a stellar day!

.
I like, and am wired for, the non-negotiable state of deciding to 'simply' never drink again. No ifs, ands, or buts.

I was plenty confused some Years ago when first here on SR. Folks would post about the insecurity/uncertainty of not knowing if they'd maintained Sobriety until they died Sober. I could relate that this was a sincere, concerning POV. But, I couldn't see putting myself through that when *I* could ensure that outcome by never picking up again. Or, even considering doing so. Hence, my Sig Line below.

There's actions, and things we all just don't do. I added drinking again to that List.